Page 64 of Sweet Venom

Chapter 26

The Enemy

I'm done. I knew I was before the truth ever came out. This is no longer my home. It never truly belonged to me to begin with. I lived Carter Manolas's life. I'm the one that should have been in that car, not him. Hell, the car accident never should have fucking happened. The minute I left Ellis's place, I wanted to set the world on fire for the shit hand I had been dealt. I've always said my anger is my strength, though I know the world thinks it's a weakness. It is never justified. It doesn't solve anything, but it can destroy everything, and because I come from nothing, I'll stop at nothing in my pursuit of vengeance.

It's a given in this life that people will hurt you, but I've finally learned there's more to my hurt and the anger that's constantly simmering deep inside my soul. Hurt is inevitable. The difference is finding the people worth suffering for. I found those people, but now it's time to let them go and save them from my destruction.

The opening of Blush was a few days ago. I know Ellis and Tatum both attended. It seems Ellis has forgiven his deceit, which doesn't surprise me. Ellis has always been the levelheaded one, slow to anger and quick to listen. The man is nothing if not loyal, and when he loves, he loves with his whole damn heart. Tatum and Sayward's tale was compelling, and I'm sure Tatum's feelings for Vivian are real. I followed him long enough to witness that firsthand. Knowing all that I do now, looking back, it's clear that he was torn between his feelings for her and avenging his truth.

While they were all moving forward as a family, I was on a mission to ensure it stayed that way. I've been on the outside looking in this entire time. It's my anger and my hate that always wins. At the Estate, I wanted to believe that there was a place for me. I let myself stand at her side, I gave into my desires, and when she told me her darkness called to mine, my heart literally tethered itself to hers as she tamed my monster. But that's the problem, it's been the problem all along. At the end of the day, I'm still a monster. It's why I'm leaving now. They are better off without me.

I needed to grab a few things from my room before I left town. I'm making a clean break. I'll be gone before they ever notice. Ellis is at the club, and Vivian is at Blush, so I know I'll get in and out without having to answer for anything. By the time they figure out what I've done, I'll be gone.

Closing the door to the office that doubled as my bedroom, I walk down the hallway and stop when I reach the entrance to Vivian's room. I look at the knob and consider opening the door just to smell her one more time. I want to commit her scent to memory and carry it with me for as long as I can, but just as I reach for the knob, Ellis says, "She's not home." Damn it.

I should have known he'd haul ass home the second I used my fingerprint to open the door. "You missed the opening. We may not be talking, but you missed a big day for her. You can't ever get that back."

My hand clenches at my side as I close my eyes and consider taming my sharp tongue, but what would be the use? I don't want Ellis to like me. He has no reason to anymore. We are not blood. I need him to hate me. To let me go. Turning around, I find his eyes and say, "I didn't go because I'm done. I didn't sign up for any of this shit. I never agreed to be your third wheel or whatever the fuck it is you want to call this. I came here to grab my things and leave."

I start toward the door when he says, "You don't get to leave. I won't let you hurt her. Not now, not ever."

"You don't get to make that choice, Ellis. We are not blood. She has you and Tatum."

"So that's what this is about. Blood? You think I don't still love you because Tatum is my blood. Are you conveniently forgetting that I've known for the past decade that you aren't my blood, and I still gave you everything? Blood doesn't make us brothers, Sebastian. Try loyalty, respect, and love. We are bonded. We've done life together from the beginning. I fucking raised you. You are mine." His voice raises an octave, highlighting his annoyance.

"Those are really nice sentiments, but it doesn't change the fact that I need to go." I turn on my heel and give him my back.

"You can't fucking leave. She's pregnant."

I'm not sure why he thought those words would stop me, but as I reach for the doorknob, I throw over my shoulder, "Congratulations, you'll be a great dad. Have a nice life."

"We both know it's not mine." I don't say anything as I stand there glued to my spot, unsure of my next move. What the hell is he talking about? My cock has only been in her sweet pussy twice. Finally, when I don't make a motion to move, he says, "It can't be Tatum's. They only started sleeping together a week ago."

I pinch the bridge of my nose and attempt to connect the dots, and that's when a memory of one of the last beatings Ellis took for me comes flooding back. It was the last summer we spent in the trailer park before he took me in the dead of night and we fled. Our dad came home from a night of drinking. When he couldn't afford crack, he would drown himself in a bottle of vodka or gin, and the man was an angry bastard when he drank. Ellis and I were on the couch when he got home, and he started searching through all the cabinets, slamming each one when he found them empty. There was never any fucking food in our house. The only time I ate was when Ellis brought food home for me, and that was usually in our room, where we would hide the evidence in shopping bags and drop them out our window, only to throw away the bags the next day. But that night, he was convinced I had eaten the last can of baked beans he swore we had.

I had hit a growth spurt, and he didn't like it. He stormed into the living room and grabbed me by my shirt, pinning me to the wall, ready to beat me bloody, when Ellis started yelling, 'It wasn't him, it was me,' the problem was, Ellis was bigger than my dad. He couldn't do to Ellis what he could do to me with his bare hands. So the asshole flipped over the wooden kitchen table in our double-wide and kicked off the leg before chasing Ellis down and beating him to a bloody pulp. I'll never forget that beating because a neighbor called the cops on my father when he heard the screams coming from our trailer. Before the ambulance arrived, my father said, 'You got beat up by a kid from school.' He’d paused before pointing the bloody wooden leg at me and saying, 'Or he'll get it worse.' That week Ellis was gone was the worst damn week of my life. When he returned home, he was black and blue from head to toe, and when I asked, 'How bad is it?' His response was, 'Silver lining… I’ll never be able to bring anyone else into this shit existence of a life.'

When I turn, and my eyes meet his, he knows I remember, and fuck if that memory and all he's done for me don't hurt. It's why I say, "Vivian doesn't have to know."

No sooner have the words left my mouth than her silhouette steps out from the hallway. The hallway that leads to only one room. The one room that is never open. Her eyes are glassy with unshed tears when she looks to Ellis and says, "How could you?" Her voice breaks before she can get the rest out, and Ellis falls to his knees.

She takes off out the door, and I say, "Ellis, what the hell? What's in that room?"

He shakes his head, and I see fear for the first time in my life. "Ellis?" I yell, trying to snap him out of whatever hell he's allowing to take over his mind, but he doesn't speak. I'm torn between staying for him and running after the woman carrying my child.

"Go..." he croaks, "Please go after her."

Damn it. I run out of the apartment and head straight for the stairs and start jumping over the rails, one floor at a time. My heart is racing, but I am determined to catch her before she can take off on her bike. I could have walked away, but that was before I saw her. When her eyes met mine, I didn't see my revenge, anger, or hurt; I saw the woman I love. I fucking love her.

The second I burst through the doors and into the parking garage, I see her pulling on her helmet. Fuck no, she isn't getting on that bike. "No," I yell across the parking garage, gaining her attention before adding, "If you run, we run together."

Her lip trembles before she drops her head and straps her helmet. Fuck. She's running, but not without me. I take off across the garage, determined to stop her before she can. She's just mounted her bike and kicked up the stand when I throw my arms around her waist.

"Let me go, Sebastian," she cries.

"No," I growl through clenched teeth.

I more than hurt her with my words, and my actions haven't been any better. I haven't given her any reason to believe I want more, but whatever shards of my heart aren't blackened belong to her.

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