Page 36 of Sweet Venom

Of course, he notices. Nothing gets past my shadow. Last night, he didn't come right out and admit to following me to the beach, but it was implied when he said he's always watching. Running into him on the corner outside Blush on my first day, his tardiness in the parking garage the same day I came back after being locked up, and his overall job at my gym have me questioning how much, if any, of our time spent together has genuinely been coincidental. And while I know stalking is no joking matter, I'm also not your usual prey. I'm well aware of the appeal the entire notion has to someone with a past like mine.

His eyebrow rises in question as if the glaring amount of time I've spent thinking about him is now suddenly obvious, and I'm simply the last to realize what's been in front of me all along. Hell, maybe I am, because while I may have been all too willing to let him fuck me with my dildo, he didn't take my breath away then like he is now. In my mind, I wanted to get off. Tatum was kind to me, I am attracted to him, and he was there. But after last night's revelations, it would seem Ellis was right. My heart wants him, but before I can give that admittance any more thought, in strolls Charlie Croft, the savior I didn't know I needed. Perfect. Now I know I won't be distracted for at least another hour.

Charlie is anything but brief. The girl can talk. It has to be because she spent a decade living with one man, unable to have any sort of social life outside of him, but hey, I'm not complaining. I'm thankful for the distraction.

But I don't miss the way her and Tate's eyes nervously clash at each other or the perplexed frown she attempts to wipe off her face as he closes the door behind her before she turns to greet me.

Getting up from my desk, I stretch my legs and walk around to give her a hug and ask, "What brings you by? I thought you said you didn't have any free time in your schedule this week."

I'll get pleasantries out of the way before I grill her on that look. Were it not for the flash of recognition I saw on Tate's face, I could pass the entire exchange off as mistaken identity—but the stirring in my gut tells me that's not it, and my instincts are never wrong.

Pulling out of our hug, she rolls her eyes and plops herself into one of my guest chairs. "Mason," she exhales his name on a breath of annoyance before pinning me with a perturbed stare that momentarily brings me peace. Yes, that's fucked up, but hey, at least it's her drama and not mine.

"Oh yeah? What did the fucker do now that has your panties in a bunch?" I take my seat and put my hands up. "Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me. Let me guess; did he take over your waxing appointment, convinced you'd leave him for Ida?" I slap my hands down on the desk as I bust out into hysterics. "That woman kills me. I don't understand how you can be a professional waxer, but have one-inch-long chin hairs."

All my slapstick commentary earns me is a semi-amused lip quirk. Great, this must be serious. I come down from my fit of laughter—one that I apparently needed, because it cracked me up way more than it should have—but before the small wave of ease that laughter brought me can settle, Charlie delivers her reason for stopping by unannounced.

"Ellis visited Mason yesterday at his office."

Damn it. It figures her appearance would be related to my chaos and not her own.

"Mason felt it was important to have this conversation in person and not over the phone, which is why he sent me." She shakes her head, and I can tell she's just as aggravated as I have no doubt I am about to be when she delivers the news. "He had to leave for Paris late last night to deal with some business overseas. But let me preface this conversation by saying that while I don't exactly support what he did, I understand why he did it."

I sit back in my chair with my hands folded over my stomach, my mind a million miles away, going over what Mason possibly could have done to betray my trust. Last night, I finally confided in Ellis about my trust fund and how I walked away to cut all ties with my family, and while I didn't think Ellis would believe I was with him for his money, it does change things. With money, I was his equal, the girl who didn't need him but wanted him. I didn't want him to think I was suddenly latching onto him because I didn't have any of my own. I'm not exactly poor, but I will need Blush to turn profits in order to pay my bills. I was scared to lose that mask, but after hearing his confessions, I felt safe. However, looking back, my admission didn't seem to surprise him, and now I know why. He already knew.

Charlie clears her throat, and it's then I realize she's waiting for some type of cue from me to start. "Just get on with it." I am not trying to be rude, but my chest is somewhat tight as I let the thought that one of the only men I've ever trusted somehow betrayed me. I never had parents to talk with or run to for guidance. I had my childhood girlfriend and Mason. That was it.

She rolls her lips nervously. "He told Ellis why you went back to St. Louis. Ellis knows that you walked away from your inheritance and that all your savings went into Blush."

I let out a long melancholic sigh as I spin in my chair. Am I hurt? Maybe a little but the anger I thought I'd feel isn't there, and that's huge. "Is there anything else?" I ask, my tone harsher than intended. When my eyes find hers, I know without words there is more. Fuck.

She gives me an apologetic smile before saying, "He told him everything. Ellis is aware of the meeting you had with your father when you forfeited your inheritance and…" She pauses, her eyes breaking away from mine and finding the floor before adding, "And the trauma you suffered at his hands as a young child."

Now that I wasn't expecting. Not from Mason. I blanketly stare at Charlie, utterly speechless. Mason only knows how my father tormented me because he came looking for me. It was our sophomore year, and he just got his license. Mason knew I alternated between my parents' houses. Every other week I stayed with my father, and I would go radio silent when I was at his house. One night Mason got bored and frustrated that he couldn't get ahold of me, so he decided to try and pick me up to hang out. Little did he know that wasn't an option with Julian Fiori. When he came to the front door, my father's girlfriend told him I wasn't available and that he'd have to wait until Monday to see me at school. He didn't like that answer and decided to sneak around the property until he found my window. The man literally climbed the side of the house and skirted the roof to get to me like some knight and shining armor out of a fairytale. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for me. It made me feel seen. That night I shared my truths, but I didn't dare defy Julian and attempt to sneak out. My father made my life hell enough for just existing. I didn't want to know what life would be like if I had actually done something besides breathe to incite him. Mason knows I haven't shared that part of my life with anyone outside of my therapist, and it hurts knowing he broke his vow of confidence.

Charlie must notice my distress because she holds her hands up and says, "Vivi, I don't know anything aside from those words I just gave you. Believe it or not, Mason didn't tell me anything. He said, 'if she wants to tell you, she will.'"

"As if that makes it any better." I retort sarcastically before adding rather tersely, "He told another man, and not just any man, but the man I love. I don't want his pity, Charlie. I don't need to be fixed."

She's quiet as she considers my words and contemplates her own. "I know my husband, Vivian, and while you are hurting, I know you do as well. He would never do anything that could even remotely harm someone he cares about. The man is loyal to a fault and has never been a fan of Ellis, so the fact that he gave him something incredibly personal about you speaks volumes to whatever words they shared that would lead him to jeopardize your faith in him."

After all the things Ellis and I shared last night, I suppose in time, the parts of my life I've kept tucked away would have eventually come out, but the difference is, they would have come out on my time once I was ready to share. The talk with my dad was something I planned on holding close for a while. Mason is like a brother to me, my safe place. He's been all I've had for so long that it's hard to wrap my mind around having someone else.

"Vivi, tell me what you're thinking. I'm sure out of anyone you know, I more than qualify as an ear to bend."

It's twisted, but I can't help but harrumph at her words. She is right. The two of us could be poster children for daddy issues. "My past has always made me feel weak. I've always felt my problems were inconsequential in comparison to those of others. So what? I had a mentally abusive father and an absent mother. I survived—"

"Stop right there," she holds up her hand, cutting me off. "You can't keep dismissing your trauma as if it doesn't count, as if someone else's journey was harder just because they have scars you can see. It took me months to find myself after discovering my whole life had been a lie. It's okay to not be okay for a little while. It doesn't make you weak. The scars remind us that the past was real. They show us strength in the face of persecution."

"I hear you," I say as I run my hand through my hair. This conversation was not the one I planned on having when I saw Charlie walk through my door today. I know she's not wrong. I've heard all this in therapy countless times, and a lot of the time, it just comes down to practicing what we preach. It's easy to say the things we know we need to do. What's hard is following through. But I'm not sure that's what's pulling at my heartstrings now. I haven't been to therapy since moving to San Jose. Therefore I haven't dealt with what happened when I returned home to throw my father's money back in his face. That, coupled with everything I shared last night with Ellis, has me upset.

"I'm sensing a but..." Charlie adds.

"But my dad's affliction was his fatal attraction to my mother. I always knew my father was a callous, coldhearted, and calculated man. I just didn't realize I was a damn pawn my entire fucking life."

There's no point in keeping this to myself and letting it continue to gnaw away at my sanity and poison my heart, because the truth is, what I saw is what scares me the most about Ellis's proposition. I've seen firsthand the damage a sick heart can cause. It's why I need the space from Ellis to wrap my head around everything. I am sure I love him, but love can be the most destructive force of all.

"The love I thought didn't exist between my parents was there all along. It was just ugly. The day I went home to sign over my shares to my inheritance, I walked into his office unannounced and found him fucking my mother on the conference table. He spent years of his life making our lives hell simply because he didn't like the imbalance of power that having me brought to his relationship with my mother. My existence threatened him, and we suffered until he got what he wanted. Me gone."

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