Page 35 of Sweet Venom

Her eyes search mine, waiting to see if I'll give her more, and while I could rush ahead of all her questions and give her all my thoughts, I want to give her time to process my words. I'm asking a lot. I'm asking her to dig deep, see what I see, and embrace something within herself that she doesn't like.

"Okay…" she draws out before adding, "So I'm it for you, and you don't want to sleep with anyone else, but I can sleep with whoever I want. Ellis, who says that?"

I grab her hand to calm the nerves I know are rising within her. Our joined fingers give her eyes something to focus on while I give her my next words, ones that I need her to not only hear, but feel and accept.

"No, Vivian. That is not at all what I am saying. I know you have feelings for two other men, one of them being my brother." I quickly bring my finger to her lips, ensuring she doesn't refute my words until I am done giving them. "If your heart wants them, I want that too, as long as a piece belongs to me." My thumb traces her bottom lip before I drop my hand to let her speak.

For once, she doesn't immediately talk back, and I'm hopeful that means she's at least acknowledging that some of what I said is true. "Can you help me understand it?"

I'm not positive if she's asking me to explain how I personally got to this point or why I believe it's what she needs, but the answer is the same for both, so I ask, "Tell me what scared you about me?"

"What do you mean, Ellis? You don't scare me."

I reach for her hand again, claiming it in mine, unsure how she'll react to my words. "Aren't you, though? You ran. Why did you run?"

Her eyes leave mine and focus once again on our joined fingers as she laces and unlaces them while deep in thought. I learned a lot, visiting Mason today. My girl is exactly the woman I thought she was and more. So fucking strong. I wait to see if her response will include that other truth, but will be grateful for any she shares, all the same. Small steps.

"This scares me. There is no way I could possibly be good at a relationship. I've never seen a successful one. My parents never had any type of love for each other, at least not while I’ve been alive, and even when they moved on to other relationships, those were just as empty. But it's more than that, Ellis; they didn't love me. I was forgotten, an afterthought, a fucking daily reminder for each of them of the person they hated the most. I don't ever want to be like them. However, in my heart, I feel like it's what's in my cards. It's in my blood, because here's the thing: I love you, Ellis. I do, and I want that to be enough…"

She pauses, and I know it's not because she can't find her words, but rather because she doesn't want to say the ones on the tip of her tongue, so I say them for her. "But it's not." She tries to pull away, but I stop her retreat. "Vivian, look at me." Her teeth are dug firmly into her bottom lip to keep it from trembling as her eyes well with tears.

"Don't you dare cry for me, baby. Our love looks different. You asked me to help you understand, and that's what this is. Just like your upbringing shaped you and your beliefs, my life has defined mine, but unlike you, I don't have any preconceived notions of what love should look like. I've never had it, but I know what it's like to love you, and that's something I never want to lose. I think it's the same for you. You love me, Vivian, and I love you. We get to choose what that looks like."

The unshed tears finally fall, but she blinks them away and nods. "I want to try. I want to try with you, but I need you to promise me something. Promise me we will always be honest, even when we think it will hurt. I do not agree to anything without that, Ellis."

"Always," falls from my lips without hesitation. While we're discussing things that scare us, I ask a very obvious one. "While we're talking about things that hurt, would you care to tell me where my car is, beautiful?"

She breaks eye contact, which displeases me, but before I can balk, she moves to mount me, and I feel the mix of our joint arousal leak out of her and onto my stomach. Fuck, why is that so hot? "It's at Blush." She answers casually as she moves to pull her night dress off, once again distracting me with her nakedness, but her antics are not lost on me.

I see this tactic for what it is. She's trying to distract me, and it's working, but we're not doing this. For any of this to work, she has to be open and honest. So, in an attempt to get her to own the name I already believe I know, I say, "I want a name, Vivian. Who brought you home?"

She slowly sits down so that her wet pussy is now covering my length before saying, "You already have it." Something in her tone puts me on alert. This is more, but before I can question, she adds, "But tell me, Ellis. Why does Tatum Carroway believe you are a bad man?"

Her comment puts me on alert. I immediately grip her hips hard, stilling her movements and earning her eyes, ensuring I have her attention when I say, "Vivian, I will never refuse you, but don't try to manipulate me with sex. If you have something to say, say it."

"Okay. What don't I know?"

"I could ask you the same," I say in return.

Vivian is the one holding all the secrets. Still, because I haven't verbally discussed aspects of my life that I know she's already very much aware of from having had conversations with Charlie, who is my sister for all intents and purposes, she believes I'm keeping things from her. I haven't brought up my past because it's not a place I care to visit. It holds no bearing on the now and what I have with her, but I know that detail is what's casting doubt in her mind now, so I say, "You know my past, Vivian. While you haven't heard the details from my mouth, it doesn't make them any less true. I grew up poor, raised by abusive addicts. At age eighteen, I ran away and took a scared little boy with me. Within a few weeks of moving here, I ran into Nico Serra, who extended his home to Sebastian and me. That's it. Nico has guided me and provided me with resources I never imagined I would have, but I have paid him back for every cent. As for why Tatum Carroway is telling you I'm a bad man, I truly have no idea, but my gut tells me it probably has nothing to do with my true character and more to do with a girl he's set on claiming for his own."

Her eyes hold mine, and for a moment, it feels like she's peering into my soul and seeing me for the first time. And maybe she is. There is power in words, and hearing her verbal confessions of things I already knew coming from her lips bridged a gap. Suddenly I felt like she cared enough to share pieces of herself that she didn't show to the world. She trusted me with her heart, and that was priceless. So while her face is void of any emotion, I can't help but feel like her mind and heart are anything but.

Leaning down, she kisses my chest over my heart before hovering above my mouth and saying, "I believe you." Out of all the words she could have chosen, she landed on those. Not 'thank you for sharing with me' or 'I'm so sorry,' but 'I believe you,' and those words couldn't have fit more. That's all I need, her trust to know that I will always protect her heart.

As her soft lips brush over mine, I take her mouth in a kiss that feels like forever. This new path we are charting will take trust and faith, so having her believe my truth now gives me confidence that we can weather the storms I am sure will come tomorrow.

Chapter 15

The Viper

Sitting at my desk checking on equipment ETAs, my head is in the damn clouds. Last night, Ellis and I confessed we loved each other—and not just once. It was like a dam had broken, and each of us said all the words we never heard and spoke all the sentiments we had refused to feel. I couldn't tell you how many orgasms he gave me until the wee hours of the morning, worshiping my body in ways that no one ever has, whispering sweet words of praise over every inch as he took me long and slow. I've never felt more cherished, and to think it was after he discussed sharing me with other men.

So, as much as I hated my alarm for going off this morning, I was grateful to have a job I needed to get to, not because I was running but because I just needed some time to reflect. You'd think being alone would trigger me. For a long time it did, until finally it became a choice. I haven't been in any real relationship my entire life, and I couldn't begin to tell you what a successful one should look like, but I believe having your own time and space is essential. It's healthy to spend time apart, hear your own voice, and ground yourself.

I've been holed up in my office all morning, and Tate hasn't stopped in so far. That's the only caveat to running away to work. Technically, I'm getting away from one man only to be hounded by another, but in two weeks' time, that won't be the case anymore. Blush will be a man-free zone aside from the few instructors I'll bring on for classes I feel a man is better suited to teach.

Speak of the fucking devil; just as I swallow my last drop of coffee, Tate opens the door, and his steely gray gaze that's just a tad bluer than Ellis's, locks on mine, momentarily stealing my breath.

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