Page 42 of Guarded By the Vodnik

But I wanted to. So fucking much. And now I paid the price.

It came as a shock, that turmoil. I hadn’t expected to feel like this. After all, it was just sex, and sex was familiar and safe. Yes, I lowered my usual boundaries to get the most out of the experience, but my reaction still felt excessive.

It was just fucking. Why couldn’t I get a grip?

My chest squeezed with cold desolation, my heart thudding sickly in my chest. I looked at Zoe, trying to focus and escape the nightmare of being in my body when I realized she was struggling in my hold.

Her face was scrunched up in pain or terror, and she fought to free her hands that were still restrained by my eager tentacles.

I released her arms at once, a pang of fear adding to the storm brewing inside me. Zoe clawed at her mask, desperately trying to tear it off. But it didn’t make any sense. The ability to breathe underwater wasn’t supposed to appear for the next few minutes, and she should still be able to breathe the air from her tank, so what…

She tore the mask off her face and released a flurry of bubbles. I understood. Her air had run out.

“I’ve got you,” I said at once, my personal suffering forgotten when I realized I was about to lose her. “Don’t be afraid. I’ll give you air.”

I brought her up too fast, moving too sharply in my haste. She gripped my shoulders, her mouth open, her face tight with terror.

I gripped the back of her head and sealed my mouth to hers, swallowing water.

She struggled at first, clamping her mouth shut. I held her closer, wrapping my tentacles around her in the hope it would make her feel safer. With the tip of my tongue, I gently coaxed her lips to part. As soon as they did, I blew in air.

She shuddered, breathing in, and then her arms were around my neck, holding on desperately.

“Breathe out and I’ll give you another,” I said, using my voice sack.

She released the air through her nose. I blew another big breath in her mouth, and she clung to me even harder, shaking.

It went on like that for a good minute, until Zoe settled completely in my arms, her body softening. We fell into a rhythm, breathing in sync without prompting, and I did my best not to give in to the hot, messy feelings that gathered in my chest, because my mouth was pressed to hers, and I hadn’t done that in decades. It felt violating, weird, exhilarating, and like the best thing in the world right after having her mouth on my cock.

I did my best to keep still and remember what this was—just me giving her air. Nothing more.

But Zoe didn’t have the same hangups I did. After I gave her the next breath, she gently flicked her tongue against mine.

I jerked as if that impact was a punch, and not the smallest lick. She made a dismayed noise in her throat, stilling completely, like she understood I was uncomfortable.

And I was. Kissing was… It wasn’t good. Or rather, I wasn’t good at it. The few girlfriends I’d had years ago when I was still trying complained that I was too rigid, too detached, and overall too cold. It was all true, because kissing nudged that pain inside me that I needed to keep buried, and if I let go too much, I was afraid it would consume me.

But this was Zoe. She was warm, trusting, and literally breathing my air. She was also my comfort. I remembered her hug that filled the abyss of cold inside me with warmth.

Now, the things she unleashed still tumbled through my bloodstream, and I was desperate for the pain to stop.

She didn’t try again, but she still held me close. I rearranged her gently in my arms so she straddled me as we breathed in a slow, even rhythm. When I had her like I wanted her, drinking in her warmth and closeness, I licked hesitantly just inside her mouth.

She shivered and stroked my nape with trembling, seeking fingers.

“Is this all right?” I asked.

She nodded as much as our position allowed, so I did it again. This time, her tongue met mine. I shivered, my tentacles pulsing with the need to bring her even closer. The air tank on her back was in the way, cold and hard and so unlike the rest of her, but I didn’t dare remove it for fear I might break something.

She’d need it later. After all, the effects of my cum would wear off in up to a day, and I definitely wasn’t going to feed her again.

Because it was too good while it lasted, yet the consequences were horrible. The pain, partly soothed by her closeness, still danced under my skin, cold and cruel.

But as she squirmed against me, digging her heels into my back with a low moan, some of that darkness dissipated. And when she ran her hands down my head and nape, stroking and soothing, it kept melting away.

That kiss wasn’t exactly what I wanted. We couldn’t really move our lips, keeping them sealed together to exchange air, but my tongue licked over hers, seeking friction and warmth, chasing her taste that was unlike anything and so good.

She trembled in my arms, aroused and trusting, and so clearly, obviously wanting me that I was dumbfounded. I’d never felt like this before.

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