Page 43 of Guarded By the Vodnik

Like… Like I was enough.

It was heady, that feeling. Terrifying in that it was so completely unfamiliar, and yet as I let it in, because there was no hiding from it when Zoe was in my arms, it grew more and more pleasant, until it exploded with glowing heat under my skin.

I could see myself easily getting addicted to feeling this way. Worthy. It was like a drug, and Zoe was my dealer.

As she squirmed with a muffled moan, pulling my head closer like she couldn’t get enough of me, a sharp thought pierced my bliss. I went still.

Oh, fuck. Had she ruined me? Would I be able to go back to my lonely, ruthless life and the cool detachment of transactional sex? Would I even enjoy sex the way I’d done it before now that I knew how good it could be?

I forced that thought down, and it was easy. Like all the other tight, sorrowful things inside me, that fear was soon swept away by Zoe’s eager caresses. The glittering warmth of her enveloped me, pushing everything else away. I groaned and moaned, making undignified, broken sounds that lit up the cavern enough that I saw the light through my closed eyelids.

And still, her hot tongue coaxed more pleasure out of me. I got lost in the kiss, barely remembering to give her air, and then, she pulled back and kissed me with her lips, too. Water came between us, and I swallowed it eagerly to be closer to her, to feel her heat, to plunge my tongue deep in her mouth. She felt so good, I wanted to crawl under her warm skin and live there.

When warm bubbles tickled my cheek, I realized I hadn’t given Zoe air in some time. Yet, she was evidently alive and well. Breathing.

I pulled away, giving her one last soft kiss on her lips, and looked at her. Her face was flushed with heat despite the cold water, her eyes glittering and big, her lips obscenely red and swollen. When I caught her eye, she grinned and blew out bubbles.

“It worked,” I said in wonder. “Oh, Zoe. It worked. You’re fine. You’ll be okay.”

She frowned at me with mock outrage and pushed back, fumbling with her suit. A moment later, she affixed her mask to her mouth while leaving her nose uncovered.

“Why are you surprised?” she asked, coming back to settle against me like it was completely natural for us to be so close. “I thought you were certain it would work.”

I rubbed my forehead sheepishly. “I was. I just haven’t done it before.”

She nodded with exaggerated understanding. “I can imagine it might be a tad awkward to have your human friends blow you so you can hang out underwater.”

“I don’t have any friends,” I blurted out, my filters gone in my raw, exhilarated, heated state.

Zoe blinked but didn’t react otherwise until finally, she smiled and punched my arm.

“Nonsense. I’m your friend.”

I stared at her with a ridiculous mixture of disappointment and elation. Was she really? Was that what friendship was? And why did that feel like not even nearly enough?

“Is that what friends do?” I asked, more hoarsely than I intended. “What we just did?”

She laughed softly, running her hand down my neck until her fingers gently brushed my gills. I shivered from that touch, the delicate membranes overly sensitive after everything that happened between us.

All of me was sensitive, and suddenly, I was afraid of her answer. I didn’t know if she was aware, but she could destroy me right now. All my defenses were gone.

“Sometimes, I guess,” Zoe answered. “What I meant is, I am your friend, and I’ll keep being that if you allow me. And I can be something more, too. If you want. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive. The point is, you’re not just a bodyguard to me. After all of this is over, I’d like to keep hanging out, in any way you’d be comfortable with.”

My gills fluttered under her touch, and she hummed in surprise, running her fingers over them again until I caught her wrist.

“We need to get out of here,” I choked out, unable to keep my voice cool as another wave of hot, helpless feelings flooded my chest. “If you keep doing that, I’ll get distracted again.”

She stopped and settled her hand on my chest, right over my heart that beat with frantic, fragile happiness.

“Thank you,” she said, looking seriously into my eyes. “You saved my life more times than I can count, and I know it’s your job, but I also know you didn’t have to go to such extreme lengths for me. And yet you did. I’ll never forget it.”

I swallowed with difficulty, reveling in her taste that still lingered on my tongue.

“Thank you for letting me,” I said quietly.

She grinned and pulled back, watching me with those warm, uncovered eyes that she finally closed.

“Well, you’re all blurry, and it’s really dark in here. Is there a chance we can go to the surface?”

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