Page 19 of Beautifully Devoted

“That’s because I—”

“Yeah, because you didn’t tell me.”

“Do you want to give me some shit?” I hold my hands out like I’m surrendering. “Go ahead, take a shot. I deserve it.”

He punches me in the arm. “I’m not going to trash talk you about liking dicks.”

“Because you support me?” I rub my arm.

“Duh,” he says after a suspicious pause, but since he’s staring me in the eye, I don’t think that delay has anything to do with me. He doesn’t see me differently today than he did yesterday, but something has him distracted, and I have a pretty good guess what that is.

When Jagger finds a thread, he pulls it as far as it’ll go. And in his quest to explore his newfound knowledge of prostates, he must have stumbled on something that he can’t let go of until he gets to the bottom of it. No pun intended.

“Spill, Kitcat. What has you all in your head?”

A familiar little wrinkle appears on Jagger’s forehead, his telltale sign that he’s wrestling with what to say or how to word it. I wait patiently for the explanation to take shape in his head, knowing that if I push, I’ll only make it harder for him to get his thoughts straight.

“So, you like dicks, and you know all sorts of shit about prostates, but how do you know if you’ll like those two things together?”

“Are you asking if I’d be a bottom?”

“Maybe?” He chews on his lip as his gaze seems to go a little vacant. “No, I’m asking if you’ve ever felt your prostate go off. Like, what I’ve seen isn’t just acting, it’s really as incredible as they make it look.”

“Do you think Liam was acting?”

“No, but there are some people who like it and some who don’t. Obviously, he’s the kind that likes it. But if you aren’t gonna like it… I just want to know if it’s really worth the hassle of exploring it, you know?”

“Why ask me? You know I’ve never hooked up with a guy. Ask Liam. Or Cruz.”

“They’re not my best friend. Besides, the fact you’ve never hooked up with a guy doesn’t mean you haven’t…felt it.”

“Fine.” I rub my hand over my face. “I’ve felt it, and yes, it’s worth it.”

Jagger nods absently, like I’ve given him the answer he expected, though the wrinkle that’s still on his brow suggests he’s not done with the questions.

“Tell me you’re not asking for a lesson in how to stimulate your prostate,” I say, dragging my hand down my face.

“Can’t.” His shoulders rise and fall as he lets out a resigned breath.

“I’m not exactly an expert here, Kitcat.”

“Just tell me how to reach it then.”

“Stick your fingers up your ass.”

Jagger grabs his pillow and whacks me over the head. “Be serious.”

“I am. Stick your fingers up there, wiggle ‘em around, you’ll know when you find it.”

“You’re not at all helpful,” he grumbles.

“Told you, I’m not an expert. Maybe after I hook up with a guy I’ll know better, but—”

“After you hook up with a guy? You decided to do it, just like that? With Aiden?” Jagger’s eyes are way too wide for that to be an innocent question.

“Why do you sound so scandalized? You said I should think about it so I’m thinking about it.”

“I’m not scandalized, just surprised you made up your mind so quickly. So, he’s into it?”

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