Page 11 of Beautifully Devoted

Jagger thinks he might be interested in dicks… I never thought I’d see this day, and I’m not sure if I want to laugh or cry.

Being interested in men isn’t new to me, but I’ve never indulged my curiosity in them because it felt like it’d be a betrayal to Jagger, even though that’s not how things are between us. I can’t explain it other than to say that it's impossible for me to envision being closer to another man than I am to him, even if that closeness is strictly platonic. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone when Jagger takes up so much space in my life.

With women, it’s different. They don’t mind being around him or would happily bring a friend. So, I sort of resigned myself to the fact that I’ll probably never explore the bi side of my sexuality, but now it seems possible that everything has changed. In fact, he wants to explore that with me.

Thank God my roommates walked in when they did. I’ve never been able to say no to Jagger, and saying yes in this particular instance is something I shouldn’t do on a whim.

But would I ever really tell him no?

Thanks to my shaky hands, I accidently select the wrong play from the options on the screen, and instead of running the ball, I throw a pass that’s easily intercepted and run back for a touchdown.

Fuck!

I let my head fall to the back of the couch with a heavy exhale, hoping that with my airway open it’ll be easier to breathe.

“How long?” The cushion next to me shifts as Liam takes a seat.

I roll my head to the side so I can see him. “How long what?”

“How long have you been in love with him?”

Sitting abruptly, I look around the room to see who might’ve heard that.

Liam interprets my panic with a sympathetic smile. “Cruz walked down the street to grab some food. And Jagger’s doing his thing in the shower.”

Releasing a stilted breath, I sink back into the cushions and study my new roommate, who’s wearing an expression that borders on pity. Fuck.

“I’m not. Not the way you’re thinking at least.”

“What am I thinking?”

“That I’ve been pining away for Jagger for years.”

“So you don’t love him?” Liam’s brows rise in challenge.

“Of course I do. He’s my best friend.” The way Liam’s eyes narrow tells me he doesn’t buy that, and I get why considering what he almost walked in on. But it really isn’t like that. Could I love Jagger? Absolutely. But that’s never gonna be our reality so I’ve never let my mind wander to a place where it is, and I’m not pining away for that. “Trust me. I know where the line is.”

“Is the line under or over your briefs?”

“That was…” I run a nervous hand through my hair. “There are things you don’t know about Jagger’s past. Things that make today an especially rough day for him, so he’s not exactly himself.”

“And you’re okay to let him not be himself at your expense?” Liam asks softly.

“I’m his best friend.”

Liam locks and unlocks his jaw as his gaze bores into mine like he’s preparing to let me have it, which is unnerving since my size should be intimidating to him, but apparently isn’t. “Did Cruz and I ever tell you how we figured out we were into each other?”

The subject change has my brows pulling together. “No.”

“I broke my wrist, which really got in the way of my self-care if you know what I mean, and he offered to give me a hand.”

I choke back an amused snort. “Are you saying…?”

“Yes.” His cheeks turn a little pink, but that doesn’t stop him from talking. “Cruz has a bit of a hero complex, so he thought he was doing me a favor, which he justified by saying friends look out for each other.”

“Friends do look out for each other.”

Liam arches a knowing brow. “By jerking each other off? If that’s a common thing for platonic friends to do, I must’ve had the wrong friends as a kid.”

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