No vampires chasing her through tunnels.
No bending over the wounded, elbow-deep in blood, as she tried to heal them. No watching her friends die.
She wouldn’t have to save her brother over and over.
My fear was that she’d never want to leave. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad for Laura. For myself. Because the longer I stood here, the stronger the pull grew, drawing me to the books. Luring me toward curling in one of those chairs beside the fire. Within minutes, the ambiance seduced me into the fantasy. I craved the safety in this private space. And if I remained here, I’d never need to face the life that waited on the outside. I’d read about it instead. Imagine it.
Anson’s presence was another curiosity. His interest in Laura was hard to deny, and I had the distinct sense that I was interrupting something between them. Perhaps it was my faille senses, acting up around all this history. I could almost see their wolves preening, nervous, shy, yet definitely noticing each other.
I should be happy that Laura had this distraction, the companionship and refuge.
But once Azul was rebuilt, would she ever want to return? And what of her friends—Leticia, Cossa, Vasha? Were they finding a home here, too? Settling in and adjusting? Were some things changing so completely that it would be impossible to go home again, at least to what we once loved?
I let it sink in. How lasting the destruction of Azul would be, and its effect on the Sentinel Falls pack.
“Noa,” Laura said with a gentle insistence, as if she knew I hadn’t been listening. “Finding out is critical.”
I blinked. Anson took pity on me and said, “For us, no pain is greater than losing the wolf.”
“Think of the silent wolves.” Laura leaned toward me. “What they suffer is nothing like what Amal is trying to do. I know you’ve never had a wolf, but you feel the emptiness. That hollow loss.”
“I’ve been there,” I said tightly.
“We’re not trying to hurt you.”
We. She meant herself and Anson. Already, they were a team. But Laura had once teamed with me, chasing away the depression so many times; after the worm poison, through the troubles with Grayson. The night of the moon celebration, when she’d danced to forget her pain, revel in her strength, and I’d believed… I’d depended upon her friendship, the one true thing I held close.
I was losing parts of her now, with that we.
And imagining them together, when Grayson had been banished, had me turning away.
But they were right about what happened when a wolf went silent—the crushing suffering. And imagining that torture for every wolf, if Amal learned how the kings had stripped the queens…
The only word that came to mind was horrific.
“We’re asking you to read Amal’s journal,” Laura said.
“To protect Anson’s pack from the war that hasn’t ended?” I asked. “Only gone silent with the winter?”
Anson drew in a slow breath. “To protect all the packs, Noa.”
“What are you doing to help?”
“Building alliances,” he said. “We’ve been in talks with the Alpen.”
My gaze jerked to Laura’s pale face, but she kept her smile pinned in place.
“I won’t be delicate.” Anson pushed his chair against the table, gripped the back edge. “You know what happened up north, so I won’t give you details. But Mosbach has been kidnapping and selling wolves for years.”
“And you’ve enabled the vampires for years. The Alpen has been marauding—for years. Common sins don’t make us allies.”
Laura’s voice was strained. “Noa, please…”
Her expression broke my heart, but she was part of this with that we… and alliances between the packs would never, ever be easy.
She cleared her throat and said, “Thanks to Anson’s efforts, the Alpen are close to agreeing. We’re hoping for a meeting.”
“And Grayson knows this?”