Page 41 of The Blood Queen

“He has enough to deal with.”

When Laura turned her head away, my gaze slid to the fake snow falling outside the fake window, then to the fake fire in the fireplace. I breathed in, breathed out. Waiting for my racing pulse to slow. When I finally faced Anson, his hands still gripped the chair back, turning his knuckles hard and white. And even then, the accusation rose to my stiff lips. “You’d sanction a diplomatic play behind his back while he risks his life to protect you?”

Anson sighed, and said, “I think it’s you he’s protecting.”

“While you tempt us with comfort, the luxury of an archive, restaurants, music, safe apartments and a good life. Creating something as fake as the fire burning in the fireplace and the snow falling outside the pretend window—when you’ve banished our alpha and negotiate with our enemies.”

Laura’s hands were shaking. “Noa, please… he’s Alpha.”

“I know what he is.”

“And you’ve earned the right to criticize,” Anson said.

No anger in his voice, not what I’d expected when I wanted a fight, needed some way to rid myself of the churning frustration that itched beneath my skin.

“No one wants to ask more of you,” he added. “In war, lines blur and enemies end up allies with a common cause. Alpen has lost people, too. Amal destroyed Sutter and the Gemini Witches. We must rise above petty rivalries with a unified front.”

“While Grayson and Mace do the bleeding?”

Anson exhaled heavily. “They’ve been successful to this point. I see no reason not to expect more success.”

My faille senses jangled. “You’re worried. You sang the lament with Fallon to unite Sentinel Falls behind you.”

“Noa, scattered and frightened packs are too weak to fight.” He straightened. “We need to come together.”

“Behind one Alpha. You.”

Anson stiffened, and it hit me that I’d wounded him with those words. Not weakened him as a man, a warrior, an Alpha. But the image streaming through my head was from the night of the Rite, when Anson stood in for a crying boy, shot the arrows into the night at my side. Comforted a child who’d lost his entire world.

That man did not do things for personal power.

Ambition did not make an Alpha. When the magic chose the man and embedded the wolf in an alpha’s skin, the choice was never accidental. The magic sought those honorable enough to lead the pack, and selfless enough for the sacrifice.

“I apologize, Alpha.” I meant it, tipping my chin, blinking at the moisture in my eyes. “I am heartily sorry. My words were cruel and filled with anger, and I’m… sorry.”

“I’ve scented him on you. Your loyalty is understood.”

“And you know what I can do.”

“I know of your connection to Amal,” he said quietly. “How you’re attuned to her, hear her… that connection is the only advantage we have. If she can’t find you, if she’s paying more attention to him and what he’s doing… you might pick up something. An early warning. The book is hers. She may have revealed something after losing her wolf. She was vulnerable, at the mercy of a vampire. If you find a clue. A detail that we can use…”

“She destroyed Azul because she wanted a book.”

“So we don’t fecking alert her to this one.”

I remained silent.

Anson said, “Every Alpha knows what he’ll be called to do before he accepts the obligation.”

Before he promises to protect the pack, to the death, if asked.

Why did I feel shocked each time I faced that reality? Wolf life had always been this way. Grayson would fight to the death, the way Anson would one day fight. Mace. Fallon. A world without them. Even Lec Rus would fight, if backed against the wall.

Anson frowned. “I’m planning a quiet dinner tonight. Perhaps you’d like to come?”

Laura shook her head. “Levi’s arriving in an hour. I want to spend time with him, the two of us alone.”

“I’m going to Leo’s tonight,” I stammered when Anson’s glance slid to me. “Hattie and Oscar will be there.” It was Christmas Eve. I wanted to be with them.

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