Page 15 of A Rhapsody of Ravens and Revenge

“Everyone thinks their own agenda is the right one. It’s why wars are fought and elections are won. Just because you fight for it doesn’t make it right for everyone.”

“Now you’re just being stubborn, sugar. You know the difference between right and wrong the same as I do. A lot of good people would have died if you’d stayed on the path you were on. You’re not a sociopath. Which leads me to the conclusion that you just didn’t have the foresight to see how many lives your choices would be affecting. Your mind might work faster than most people’s, but at the heart of it you were still a twenty-year-old kid who was only thinking about herself.

“You could have gotten my entire team captured that night. We would have been tortured and killed. If you’d turned those launch codes over a whole lot of people would have died.”

She rolled her eyes. “I told you then. They weren’t the real launch codes.”

“You’re not stupid, Evie. If you and Yukov had met face-to-face, no matter what your intentions with the launch codes, he would have owned you. That’s if he didn’t slit your throat first for trying to betray him. But Yukov is perverse that way. If he’d decided to let you live you’d have become Tsar Ivan’s successor. No one on this side of the ocean would have ever seen or heard of you again.”

“Yeah,” she said. “So you said. I learned my lesson. I’m stuck here, just like you wanted. I’m doing a job I hate and staying off everyone’s radar. You made the rules and I followed them. You won. Congratulations.”

“Your life is never a game,” Cal said intensely, his gaze boring into hers. “It’s too precious. But you have a chance now that you have some distance and perspective behind you to play for the good guys. Now’s as good of a time as any to get back in.”

“Oh, gee,” she said, fluttering her eyelashes. “The great and powerful Calvin Cruz is giving me permission to sit at my little computer and work magic against evil. How generous and thoughtful of him.”

He shrugged. “I’m giving you the choice to take back what you keep saying I stole from you. The only thing I know for certain is that I’ve waited ten years to kiss you.”

Cal moved in slowly, giving her the opportunity to push him away. But she stood there defiantly, daring him. He leaned in closer. Her eyes had turned a deep, dark amethyst and her pupils were large. She held on to him as if he were her lifeline.

The pleasure of not kissing her was driving him insane. He couldn’t imagine what actually putting his lips over hers would be like.

It was heaven.

It was pure torture.

And he knew with that one touch that he was in deep trouble.

“Evie,” he whispered.

“This is so stupid,” she said. “I’m still mad at you.”

“I know, sugar. But this has been a long time coming. It would’ve happened eventually if circumstances had been different. The other stuff will work itself out.”

Evangeline was determined to put a stop to the madness. She’d made a lot of mistakes in her life. She wasn’t afraid to admit it. And she’d spent a lot of years trying to make up for those mistakes the best way she knew how. Despite what Cal might think, she did have remorse over her actions. And she’d spent the last ten years in repentance, paying her dues to a society that would never care.

But as far as mistakes went, kissing Cal had to be one of the biggest.

It was every fantasy she’d ever had come to life—better than her dreams. Cal had been her first crush. Her first love. Her first heartbreak. And though she’d dated and tried to find a partner for life, no one had ever measured up to Cal. She realized now that as right as his lips felt against hers, not even Cal could fill the hole in her heart. There was too much baggage and hurt between them.

“Evie,” he said, whispering against her lips. “Stop thinking so hard. Just enjoy the moment.”

She opened her mouth to say something witty, but he kissed her again and all thought left her head. She felt the panic bubble up inside of her when he stripped off her shirt.

He made a strangled sound and stared at the purple lace bra she wore. “This is the type of underwear you wear under those ugly baggy clothes?”

She tried to keep her voice light. “I have to get my kicks from somewhere.”

“I should’ve known you couldn’t repress the wild child completely,” he said.

It was like cold water had been thrown on her. Her lungs tightened and it was hard to draw a breath. She couldn’t do this. She hated Cal almost as much as she loved him. She’d not only made promises to Cal that day ten years ago. She’d made promises to herself.

She accepted her punishment for the crimes she’d committed. Despite her feelings for Cal, he’d been right. She wasn’t the type of person who could kill on a whim. Who could sit back while others suffered. And she’d spent the last decade keeping her head down, doing her work, and quietly helping as many people as she could. It was her penance. And penance and pleasure didn’t go together.

Whatever this insanity was with Cal had to stop. She knew the kind of man he was. The job mattered more than anything. Ten years ago the job had mattered more than a young woman’s childhood dreams being crushed when the man she loved looked at her with cruelty and disappointment.

And despite the want she now saw in his eyes, it was the job that mattered. It just so happened that she was the job. Which made it easy for him to succeed in his mission and conquer and claim her at the same time. Convenient.

“Stop,” she said, pushing against him.

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