Page 82 of Lock 'em Down

“Cami?” Piper asks.

“Yes! Sorry, I’ll be right out.”

“No worries! Take your time. I’m ready when you are.”

“Okay.” But I don’t feel light and happy anymore.

Instead, worry consumes me. Skepticism grows. Unworthiness reigns.

Did Leif make a mistake by committing to me? Did I?

I dry my hands on the towel and pull open the bathroom door.

“I’m sorry, Piper,” I murmur to the friendly face standing before me. “I’m actually not feeling that well.” I press a hand to my stomach.

And it’s not even a lie. Right now, I feel nauseous. My stomach twists painfully and anxiety settles like a lump in my chest.

“Oh, no,” Piper says, looking genuinely concerned.

Leif has wonderful friends. And they—well, at least Ray—don’t think I’m right for him. They’ve known him for years; I’ve known him for a fraction of that time. Could Ray be right? Are they all thinking the same things Ray voiced?

“Do you want me to get Leif? They just left!” She steps toward the front door.

“Oh! No, no, don’t do that. I don’t want him to worry. I’m sure it’s just a stomachache.” I grimace and hate the next words that come out of my mouth. “Do you mind if I pass on shopping?”

“Not at all!” Piper says, taking my elbow and leading me toward the staircase. “You rest.”

I manage a small smile. “Thank you for understanding. If you could avoid mentioning this to any of the guys, I don’t want Leif to come back and miss time with Chris. I’m sure I’ll feel better in no time.”

“No problem. Just remember, the ceremony is at four.”

“Got it,” I promise, climbing the stairs. “Have fun shopping.”

“Get some rest!” Piper says encouragingly.

I nod and make it to the top of the stairs. Then, I enter the bedroom, lock myself in the bathroom, step into the shower, and have a good cry.

It’s cathartic. Necessary.

My feelings are all over the place. My thoughts scattered.

Am I really letting Ray’s assessment throw me for a loop?

Am I really questioning Leif’s love for me?

Do I think he’s trying to prove a point to himself by staying married?

I think back to our conversation at the bar in Knoxville. Leif’s words ring in my head.

I’ve never done a serious relationship thing—my first attempt can’t crash and burn.

Is that still what this is? Or are we past that? Are we truly in love?

Emotionally exhausted, I twist my wet hair in a towel and climb back into bed. I’m relieved when sleep comes, and I take a long nap.

I wake with plenty of time to dress for the wedding, but my head is still a mess. My thoughts unravel in every direction, and I feel sick to my stomach.

Would I feel this way if there wasn’t a kernel of truth to Ray’s assessment?

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