Page 61 of Wanted Beta

So much for my good luck charm. I lost a few grand, made a few grand, lost a few more and made a few more. The casino was a bust. Literally the only money I’m up from my venture out of the restaurant is the quarter I found before I left the mall.

Walking back there now, I flip the quarter and catch it, keeping my hand over it.

Heads I dump the flyers and tell the guys I handed them out.

Tails I confess I wasted a few hours at a casino.

I lift my hand. Heads. Fate gives me the answer I want to hear.

Too bad I can’t listen. I don’t like lying to my pack.

The occasional white lie, sure.

Omitting something, sometimes.

Outright lying to their faces?

Flat no.

And what I did this afternoon, sending Jack home and telling him I was taking over doesn’t count. My intentions were to make money to help boost our advertising efforts. I was doing what my Beta was doing, on a different level.

Luck just wasn’t on my side tonight.

My instincts were sharp, but the cards were bad.

I toss the coin again, flipping it without making a bet.

Heads. A couple more flips and I get tails.

There has to be a reason I found this quarter today.

It must mean something.

Getting to the mall, I stop flipping to open the door and go inside.

The candy store is closed now, and the mall is a lot less crowded.

It’s bearable to be here, and Jack’s gig isn’t on for a couple of hours yet, so I take my time picking up his messenger bag full of flyers and then I go up to the food court level to grab a coffee.

I need a few minutes alone before I go home and admit what I spent the last few hours doing.

I had good intentions, but that doesn’t matter.

Enzo thinks I have a problem.

Maybe I do.

I don’t know anymore.

I’ve spent so long relying on my instincts that gambling feels like the only thing I’m truly good at.

I thought I’d gotten everything right with the restaurant, but clearly all that meticulous planning I did while we were still living in Emerald Grove was for nothing. I’ve already spent hours going back over each element, trying to figure out where I went wrong.

I couldn’t work it out.

All I know is, I failed my pack.

It doesn’t feel good.

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