Page 127 of The Love Position

There was a brief pause as everyone else realised the sky wasn’t about to fall on their heads, then there was a hurried mass exodus. Grace crawled off Isaac’s lap and dashed after everyone else for the entrance.

Within twenty seconds, the only people left in the space were Isaac and Swami Vishnu.

Isaac turned to face his guru and took a breath.

‘Hanuman,’ he interrupted, holding up a hand to silence him. ‘I am disappointed in you. Over the years, you have been my most diligent student and staunchest supporter. You’ve been like a son to me.’

Guilt sat in Isaac’s stomach, weighing him down.

‘There is an ugly dissonance growing within the organisation and I am relying on people like you, people I trust, to stand beside me. I cannot have you go against my teachings.’

‘Guruji, I am sorry, but we cannot traumatise people who are paying—’

‘The path of yoga is not meant to be easy. If it were, then every couch potato would be a Buddha, a Jesus, or a Swami Devanandara. By confronting the darkness within, we find our light. I think it would be appropriate for you to practice mauna until the end of this TTC.’

Every cell in Isaac’s body screamed ‘no’ to that directive. He would not be silenced by order. It was time to cut the cord, no matter if it meant the end of his close relationship with Swami Vishnu.

‘Guruji, I’m sorry, but I can’t stay here after the TTC.’

‘I know that. You have to tie up your affairs in the UK.’

‘No. I mean I’ve decided to stay in Foxbrooke. If I lose my house, then I’ll find somewhere else to live. My dharma lies there, teaching my classes.’

Swami Vishnu didn’t even pause to assimilate Isaac’s words, continuing with a clipped tone.

‘That is not your dharma. You can reach thousands of people a year by staying here. Who do you touch in England? A handful of menopausal women, and the odd yoga bunny who’s only there because they think they can bed you?’

Isaac thought of all his wonderful students. About the octogenarians at Foxbrooke Haven who could hardly manage any posture but loved what he taught and made him laugh like a drain. Anger pulsed through his veins at his guru’s dismissal of them.

Swami Vishnu leaned forward, steepling his fingers. ‘Is Sophia behind this decision?’

Was she? Sophia was the reason he was breaking his vow, but even if he’d never met her, he knew he’d choose his life in Foxbrooke over one at the ashram. Sure, he would teach more people within the organisation, but the connection would be transient. Impermanent.

Before leaving for India, Isaac had decided to move on from Foxbrooke if he lost his land. But now, thinking of the relationships with his students, with Eveline, the thought seemed ridiculous.

‘Sophia isn’t the only reason I wish to remain in the UK.’

His guru threw his hands in the air and leaned back in his chair. ‘So, you still cling to the hope you will be together? You should think about your next life. Your next incarnation. Not chasing what is as meaningful and fleeting as the existence of a fruit fly.’

‘I want to be happy in this life, Guruji.’

‘What you feel isn’t real. Sexual desire is a flame that can be snuffed out in an instant.’

Isaac kept quiet. His love for Sophia burned hotter than the sun, and he was positive it would last longer.

Swami Vishnu’s eyes narrowed. ‘Have you been intimate with her?’

Isaac froze. He’d wanted to be honest with his guru, but right now it felt wrong, like he was tarnishing something private and perfect.

‘Hanuman?’

He settled for a partial truth. ‘When I return to the UK, we’ll begin a relationship.’

A long silence followed.

‘I’m sorry to disappoint you, Guruji, but I’ve made my decision.’

Swami Vishnu got to his feet.

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