Page 48 of Boundaries

“What about him?” I said, puzzled.

“He wants to see you, to apologise.”

Well, fuck me. “I’m not ready to see him to be honest. It’s still hard to process. You can tell him that I forgive him, forgive you both. Feel free to see where this thing goes between you, but I don’t want it in my face. Not until I come to terms with it.”

“I get that totally and thank you, Amy. Again, sorry you had to see that,” Mattie whispered, his voice full of regret.

“Me too brother. That picture will probably be drilled into my memory for the rest of my life,”

“God, I hope not.”

I managed a half smile, “Me too.”

The atmosphere then lifted between us. What could I say, I was the bigger person in this scenario. I was a huge fucking grudge bearer, but not where my family were concerned. I stored all those up for the McKenna boys.

Mattie explained that things had changed and become flirtier between him and Alex once they’d gotten into gaming together. A perfect excuse to see each other and do stuff that was still considered guy-like. He didn’t go into detail about when the sexual side of things crept in there and, to be honest, I was thankful for that.

What did hurt the most was the fact that all my family had known about Mattie and Alex, even Chrissy FFS! That had been the reason for that off atmosphere at dinner when I’d been leaving for supper with Alex at The Windmill. They’d all known and now thinking back to what Boyd and Mason had said that same night, I was the only one who hadn’t got it. Like I was like some stupid naive girl with no gaydar whatsoever! No wonder Alex always looked amazing.

We discussed Jenna and Nixon. Mattie appeared to be cooler with it than me and I felt a bit betrayed, like Nixon was working some type of voodoo magic on them like he had on Jenna. No doubt Mattie was pleased Jenna had a distraction, so he could carry on with his sneaking around.

I was boyfriend-less and I felt like a total loser, so I decided that I’d gather the girls, I needed a night out. Maybe clubbing. The thought of pulling a stranger was totally growing on me.

The only mind-blowing sexual experience I had so far was with my enemy, and I knew I had to change that and fast. I couldn’t let what Mason had done to me have a lasting effect to the point where that was all I had to refer to. Yes, he’d known exactly how to touch me, but it was straightforward stuff. Although so far, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to that level of excitement. I’d had a fool around, but I didn’t really know what I was doing. Embarrassing and utterly pathetic I know. Betty was much more in tune with her body than I was with mine.

When I got back home later, Jenna and Nixon were in her room. I was pleased that they stayed up there, to be honest. I didn’t relish Nixon McKenna infecting my favourite places in the house with his man presence.

I’d hardly seen Chrissy lately and hadn’t a clue where she was hiding.

It was like we were ships in the night since my parents went away.

I decided to text her and invite her out. She was underage but with makeup looked older and had been able to get into the club in town since last year. She loved clubbing but my mother didn’t like her going out.

As they were away, there was no stopping us. I would have arranged for us to go out that following Saturday when Jenna and Nixon intended to play happy families with their shit party. But I knew I’d get it in the neck from everyone if I attempted to bail, so I suggested the following Monday after the weekend. Monday was student night and loads of bars offered happy hour.

I texted Chrissy. She had been staying with her friend Daniella who was going through some boy drama and needed support. I also messaged Jenna (who probably wouldn’t be allowed to come). I also texted Betty and my cousin Wynter as I’d missed her at yesterday’s BBQ. Mattie had mentioned when we met for coffee that all she’d talked about was her step-siblings, Jackson, or Jaxon something and Molly who sounded like a right bitch. I felt sorry for her and wanted to give her an excuse to come out with us.

We’d go into Norwich to The Union, one of the classier establishments. It was expensive and therefore that cut down on possible riff-raff clientele. Only members of our village’s elite could afford it and let’s face it. I was their Queen.

One night stand, here I come. I just had to get through another week of work without any further drama or run-ins with the interloper Nixon or his brothers.

And that included Mason with his come-to-bed eyes, rock-hard body, and talented fingers.

Something twisted inside me and then tightened. I wasn’t going there again, no way!

Nine

Mr and Mrs Lonsdale were away again and I had loads to do. They had only left me with four horses to care for, the others had been taken to another local fair, but it was hard work. Every animal appeared to be shitting for Britain which made me wonder if I’d made a mistake with their grain portions. As a rule of thumb, I had been told to allow 1.5 to 2 kg of feed per 100 kg of the horse's body weight and I’d done that, hadn’t I? I only had two more feeds to get through thank goodness. If I had gotten it wrong, Mr and Mrs Lonsdale could put it right before any weight gain or weight loss occurred due to my incompetence. That’s the way I saw it anyway.

It was scorching hot and thankfully I’d remembered my hat, not wanting a repeat of that last weekend. I had also worn loose-fitting shorts, bright pink Hunters wellies and an old T-shirt of Alex’s that I had decided to keep in payment for fucking me over. It was tiny and wouldn’t have fit him anyway.

I sighed and swallowed down the sadness that things hadn’t worked out. Would never have considering he was gay. I glanced down at his plain black tee, I had almost worn Mason’s top which I’d practically stolen, but decided against it. If he saw me in it, it would send the wrong message. Not as if I knew what the right message was at that point. I also still had his underwear but stuffed them to the very bottom of my laundry basket. Almost like burying the evidence.

As I’d just about finished with Star’s stable, an annoying voice barged into my peace.

“I’m pleased to see you’re wearing your hat this time Amy. Saves me from having to bail your arse out again,” Mason said.

As I exited the stable with the brush in my hand, my eyes were insulted by Mason and Nixon who were standing by the open gate. What the hell they wanted was anyone’s guess. I took my cap off and scratched my head with the same hand.

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