Page 84 of Protective Heroes

The way I’d treated Trevor this morning after the night we spent together came back to me. Even after all of that, he’d been nothing but solicitous. He’d been kind and gentle and did his best to put me at ease.

“Oh God, Asha.” Pain pierced my heart. “He’s going to hate me.”

Tears sprang to my eyes again. If he hated me, I deserved it. He’d been nothing but loving, kind, and protective, and I’d thrown him away like he was garbage. I’d turned into the person I always accused my mom of being–coldhearted.

“He doesn’t hate you, sweetie. Trust me. Right now, he’s sitting somewhere wondering if it’s too early for a whiskey.”

“We made plans. I was going to stay here. Or move here. Or…” I’d had the best two days of my life. For the first time ever, I made plans that revolved around being part of a loving unit. I’d have someone to call my own who wanted me, too.

And I’d ruined it. Just like I’d blamed my mom for doing with my dad.

A knock came at the door. “Miss Mackenzie?”

“Asha, I’m going to call you back. The lodge owner is at my door.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I need to think about things. I’ll call you later tonight.”

I hung up.

“Miss Mackenzie, I just wanted to check on you.” Mrs. Morgan’s sweet face showed her concern.

“I’m okay. Thank you.”

“I don’t mean to pry, but did something happen between you and Trevor? I went down to the dock to invite him to dinner and he looked…well, fit to be tied if I’m being honest. Mumbling something about needing a whiskey.”

My shoulders dropped and my eyes prickled with hot tears. “It’s all my fault. I made a mistake and…I’m afraid I treated him terribly. I let my fears get in the way of a good thing.” A few hot globs of water rolled down my cheeks.

“Oh, no, it couldn’t have been all that bad.” Mrs. Morgan ushered me to the pale blue settee under the window in my room. She got me settled and then bustled over to the nightstand to grab the box of tissues before sitting next to me.

She put an arm around me and pulled my face to her neck in a move so maternal, something I’d longed for and missed for so long, that I completely lost it. I spilled the whole story of my parents and what happened between Trevor and me years ago, my dad dying from a broken heart and me afraid of letting anyone that close again.

When I finished, I mopped my face and looked at Mrs. Morgan sheepishly. “I’m so sorry I just lost it like that. You must think I’m crazy.”

“Not at all. After what you went through sweet girl, I can’t even imagine how you must have felt to be blindsided that way. You know I loved once. He was a burly mountain man and he was my one true love. My soulmate.”

“What happened between you?”

“He died a few short years back. My Marvin got sick.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you, but my point is, I’m here. Just because I loved and lost doesn’t mean I quit living.”

I considered her words. “True.”

Trevor was kind and protective and so caring it hurt my heart to think about losing that now that I have allowed myself to feel for the last couple of days. The ice around my heart has melted and there are so many emotions flooding in I am about to drown.

“I feel like a horrible person. Please don’t think badly of me.”

“I think you’re a person who was traumatized as a child and never had anyone to wrap you in love afterward. I could never think badly of you.”

“Trevor is never going to forgive me for the way I dismissed him this morning.”

“Do you want him to?”

I didn’t even have to think about the answer to her question.

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