Page 77 of State of Grace

“You ok?” Blake tilted her head in concern.

“Yeah, you?” She was breathless and torn between freaking out over what was happening or going with the flow and throwing her insecurities to the wind. The latter won out at the sexy look in Blake’s eyes.

“Yeah.” Blake ran her thumb along Alexis’s bottom lip. “What do you want?”

“I want,” Alexis paused and licked her lips where Blake’s thumb had been, “I want you.”

“Come on.” Taking hold of Alexis’s hand, Blake slowly walked her backward toward the bed. When the mattress pressed into the back of her knees, Blake lifted her and laid her on the bed. Alexis was pleasantly surprised that Blake stayed right on top of her, their lips never losing contact with each other. Blake’s knees were on either side of Alexis’s hips, and she could feel the weight of her body on top of hers.

Alexis pushed herself farther up onto the bed as Blake moved with her. Having already discarded the jacket when they’d arrived at the party, the sleeveless black top Blake was wearing gave Alexis a stunning view of her breasts. Her hands reached out involuntarily and took hold of each of her full breasts. Blake’s back arched at the touch, and she lowered her hips onto Alexis’s body. She kneaded Blake’s breast slowly to gauge her reaction as Blake’s hand slipped under her dress.

Pulling herself from Alexis’s grasp, Blake moved down her body and lifted the hem of her dress up. Panic washed over Alexis’s body so quickly that any sexy feeling that had been coursing through her body was replaced by a chill that she couldn’t fully process with Blake’s hands all over her body.

“Blake.” Alexis reached out for the hem of her dress to pull it back down. Blake backed off slightly as she tilted her head in confusion.

“What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”

“No,” she covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. Blake adjusted her position, so she was sitting up on her knees beside Alexis, who sat up on her elbows. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this.”

“Talk to me.” Blake covered Alexis’s hand with hers. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“It’s…it’s just that I haven’t been with anyone since I had Harper.”

“I know, and that doesn’t matter to me. You are beautiful, Alexis.”

“No, I’m not.” Alexis pressed her tongue into the side of her cheek and begged the tears not to fall. The last thing she needed was to cry in front of Blake when they’d both thought the night was going to end with sex. “You are gorgeous. You have a body to die for, and you’re so sexy, and I’m…I’m me. I’m a single mom with stretch marks and extra weight in places I wish I didn’t, and…”

“Lex.” Blake put a finger up to her lip. The simple gesture caused her to release a pent-up sob. “Babe, please, don’t talk about yourself like that. You are the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. Your curves drive me absolutely crazy, and, Lex, I love everything about your body, including what it has been through.” Taking hold of the hem of her dress once more, Blake looked into her eyes. “Is it ok if I raise your dress and show you how much I love your body?”

There was no way Alexis could have said anything. The words were stuck in her throat. She simply nodded at Blake, and she straddled her hips once more. With more tenderness than Alexis had ever experienced, Blake gently raised her dress as she lowered her lips to Alexis’s skin. Blake kissed her stretch marks that had never entirely disappeared after having Harper. She kissed the places on her body that Alexis wished she could change from her extra weight around her hips to her stomach that was soft and round. Her lips grazed the cutting marks on her inner thighs from her darkest of dark days. With each kiss, Blake washed away the negative thoughts Alexis had toward her body.

“You are so beautiful, Lex. Please always believe me when I say this.”

At that moment, Alexis knew what she needed to do. She knew what she wanted to do.

“Blake, I need to tell you something.”

“Ok.” The worried look on Blake’s face caused Alexis to quickly sit up as Blake sat cross-legged on the bed beside her. Alexis took hold of Blake’s hands and held them tight. She wasn’t sure if it was more for comfort for herself or Blake.

“I need to tell you about how I came to have Harper.”

“Lex, you don’t…”

“No.” Alexis shook her head. “I want to tell you.”

At Blake’s nod, Alexis dove into the story that she had never told anyone before.

She was twenty-two when she’d gone to a party at the University of Maine in Augusta to see Michelle. After two years of being led on by Michelle like a whipped dog, Alexis was desperate to tell Michelle how she truly felt. Alexis wanted to tell Michelle that she loved her and had loved her since the day they’d met two years before. But when Alexis arrived at the party, she was shocked to see Michelle was there with her fiancé.

Alexis had been crushed. She felt stupid for thinking Michelle would have ever loved her when she’d made it perfectly clear time and time again that she didn’t feel that way about Alexis. Deep down, Alexis had hoped she could change her. That someday she could prove to Michelle that she was the one for her. Instead, Alexis found herself at a college party where the only person she knew was now the last person on earth she wanted to see.

But instead of leaving, Alexis had sulked around the party, drinking more than she should have. When a guy brought her a drink, Alexis had taken it as a flirty move and had taken the drink. It was only a few minutes later that Alexis’s head started to spin, and she’d retreated to the bathroom to be alone.

But the man with the drink had other plans. He’d pushed himself into the bathroom and forced himself on Alexis.

“I…I was raped.”

“Lex.” Blake let out what sounded like a sob as she pulled Alexis close. She held her as they both cried silently. Even after nearly six years, Alexis had never once told anyone that. Her friends knew; they were all there when Sophia had brought her home from the party. But none of them ever talked about it. Alexis had her suspicions that Sophia told them never to talk about it. “I am so, so sorry this happened to you. I…I had no idea. I don’t know what to say.”

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