Page 14 of A Little More Hope

I thought about his question, trying to work the answer out in my head, why Ash’s touch and only his didn’t make my skin crawl. I’d attributed my repulsion to being touched to the associated feeling of terror when my assailants dragged me into the filthy dark alley. I knew the difference, obviously, but couldn’t get past the feeling whenever someone tried to put their hands on me.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure I understand why,” I admitted, “but your touch is different. It calms me, grounds me, makes everything okay, and I haven’t felt that way in a very long time.”

If ever.

I lowered my eyes at revealing that last piece of information, but I’d spoken the truth, nonetheless. “I don’t want you to stop.” I almost begged him, not wanting to relinquish this small piece of comfort I had in my life, the single ray of light in the never-ending darkness.

The shy grin crossing Ash’s face at my words lit me up inside like a beacon. Releasing himself from my hold, his hands moved to rest lightly on my waist as he stepped closer, making our bodies touch.

“This okay?” he asked, his voice gravelly.

Strong arms circled around my lower back to pull me closer, and a shudder shook my whole body as I reveled in the feel of him, of being in his embrace. My own arms mirrored his, sliding up and over his shoulder blades, his taut muscles rippling under my fingers.

“Yeah,” I managed, as he hugged me tighter, yet remaining careful of putting any pressure on my ribs.

He shifted slightly, and my crotch rubbed against his thigh, sending ripples of pleasure straight to my cock, now thickening rapidly in my shorts and shocking the hell out of me. I hadn’t been able to get hard once since the attack, and I was unprepared for the suddenness of getting an erection. Being so close to someone after all this time must be overloading my senses, as I couldn’t find any other explanation for what was happening to me.

Unable to stop, I pushed my hips against his leg, the pressure of his firm thigh on my hardening dick sending my pulse rocketing, bombarding me with sparks of desire. I shouldn’t have liked how fucking good he made me feel, but after my body being dormant for so long, I couldn’t help myself. The urge to get closer, to experience as much as possible, overrode all else.

“Mase,” Ash groaned, and I shuddered again. So few people ever shortened my name, but hearing him do so sent shivers of pleasure racing down my spine, making my cock throb and my balls tighten painfully. I was on the verge of coming from his voice alone, his distinctly male voice, and the realization sent another shock through my system and dragged me from my lust-filled haze.

Pulling my arms away from where they were clinging to Ash—clinging, for fuck’s sake—I jerked us apart, moving out of his hold, putting a couple of feet between us.

“I’m sorry,” I panted, trying to get air in my lungs. “I shouldn’t have, shouldn’t—”

“It’s okay, really. It’s…it’s my fault,” he cut in, pushing shaky fingers through his hair. “It was too much, too soon. I should have stopped us, should have known.”

I ashamedly took the out he gave me, too embarrassed to speak, not sure what I’d say anyway to explain my uncharacteristic behavior.

“Look,” he said, “I think I should go, give you some space.” I dipped my head, not stopping him this time, watching as he retreated another couple of steps to give me the distance I needed, though from the arousal humming through my body, wasn’t sure I wanted. My eyes dropped to his denim-clad thigh, the same one I’d rubbed against moments ago, making my cock twitch at how much pleasure the friction had given me. His hand dropped in front of his body as he turned, heading for the door, but he didn’t move quick enough to cover the prominent bulge he tried to hide.

Was he hard too?

The thought I’d turned him on made my mouth go dry.

“How about a walk early tomorrow morning?” he asked, pulling my gaze back to his face, his voice so deep, so male. I struggled not to react.

“Huh?”

He half smiled. “I asked if you’d like to take a walk tomorrow. Along the beach. If we go early enough there won’t be anyone around, so you’ll be safe.”

“Sure,” I replied without thinking his request through, my scrambled brain currently fixated on him getting a hard-on.

“Good.” He beamed at me. “I’ll be around at six thirty, okay?”

When I didn’t answer, he gently asked, “Mase?”

My stomach went all fluttery again at the shortening of my name. He made it sound so much more intimate, when it never had before. “Six thirty. Got it.”

“Night, then.” He slipped out the door, and like last time, I was left staring at the space he left behind, my brain racing over what I’d done, trying to figure out what on earth I was going to do about it.

*

Six twenty-five the next morning, I felt sick. My stomach churned as nausea rolled through me, making me freezing cold one minute, boiling hot the next. I pulled at the T-shirt and sweater I wore to try to reduce the dampness sticking to my body.

I was going out. For a walk.

I was going out where there were other people.

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