Page 88 of The Lies We Tell Ourselves

“Comfortable? Does the weight feel evenly distributed?”

I nodded, unable to speak as nerves shot through me. It didn’t matter I’d done this four times already tonight; this was the show stopping showcase design, and I dreaded messing it up for him.

His hands landed on my shoulders, and I looked down at him. “Just remember how we practiced. The room is dark right now, so they will see you silhouetted once you’re behind the curtain. Kaileigh will pull them back, and the runway will be illuminated under the smog. Focus on your man and walk straight down the middle. Take it slow, because these babies are heavy. Most of all, remember to breathe and enjoy it. Okay?”

“Fun, right.” The air whooshed out of my lungs as I stepped up behind the curtain and a hush fell beyond it. I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes to center myself before nodding at Kaileigh. Levi gave me a thumbs up, and I cracked a smile. My heart thundered behind my ribs, and exhilaration uncoiled inside me. My arms braced against my wings, and I focused on Kaileigh counting down with her fingers before the curtain pulled back. I could see before me was the glowing smog of the walkway. I lifted my eyes and searched for Dillon. Even though I knew where he was, I still searched until that instinctual pull between us locked on to him.

My first step was tentative, and I feared the floor beneath my feet was an illusion. But once I knew the ground was solid, my nerves bled away. After my second step, the wings on my back glowed, and the audience gasped. Dillon was out of his seat, halfway to the stage, his dark eyes burning with lust. He looked like he wanted to devour me. A smirk lifted the corner of my lips as I drew closer to him. Catcalls sounded around me as I stopped at the end. I bit down on my lip when Taylor and Mal had to hold Dillon down in his seat as I peered down at him.

I winked at him before turning and walking back up the runway, his deep groan ringing in my ears. The rest of my walk faded away, like I was lost in a dream. Nothing seemed real—not getting hugged by Levi and Kaileigh, not doing a final walk with Levi, not receiving rapturous applause, or doing too many interviews to remember. I vaguely recalled a guy named Matthieu Montoya who raved at Levi and begged me to work with him, but it all flowed around me like an ocean current.

By the time I wobbled back through the curtain with aching feet, I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was fall into a chair, drink a million bottles of water, and have Dillon carry me away. I couldn’t walk another step. “Wait up, Jamie.” Kaileigh ran after me with a broad brown-haired guy. “We need to get your wings off before you collapse and break them and end up hurting yourself.”

I waved her off, staggering a bit as my burning feet turned numb. “I’m good,” I lied, my eyes heavy as the adrenaline crash hit like a Mack truck.

“No you’re not. Prescott, grab him for me before he collapses,” Kaileigh said, frantically undoing the harness before slipping it from my shoulders.

“Ahh,” I groaned as the weight dragging me down was gone, and I was suddenly floating.

“Let’s switch,” she said to Prescott, handing him the wings for him to put away before leading me to a chair.“Just a couple of minutes, and I’ll get your boots off, Jamie. I promise. I’ve got some water for you to soak your feet in too. I bet they hurt like a bitch.”

“You can say that again.” I huffed a laugh and grabbed the bottle of water that was on the stand beside me and downed it. Kaileigh snorted and set a bowl of warm water at my feet and fuck, did it feel amazing. She studied me for a second and glanced around the backstage area before turning to me with a bright smile.

“You did so well out there, Jamie. Levi is over the moon.” She looked over her shoulder again and sighed. “He said he was gonna come back and talk to you, but he must have gotten held up. You can catch up with him during the gala. I’m sure he’ll fill you in on all his news there.”

I flexed my toes in the water as the feeling slowly came back to them, but my legs still felt like rubber, and the idea of standing around drinking was growing less and less appealing by the second. I rolled my head, the muscles in my back aching. A wave of exhaustion washed over me, and my eyelids felt heavy. “We’ll see, but to be honest, I’m beat and just want to Netflix and chill.” She snorted and guided me forward so she could unbutton the back of my outfit. “Could you get Dillon for me? I don’t think I can walk.”

She pressed a kiss to my cheek when she was done and smiled at me. “You got it, hun. Oh, before I forget, this was left for you. I’ll leave it here with a fresh bottle of water and go and get your man.”

I focused on stripping out of my outfit and managed to get it off without damaging it or dropping it in the bowl of water. I pushed it away with my foot, because knowing my luck, I’d trip over it and end up face first in the damn thing. I snorted at the image of Dillon’s horrified face when he found me floundering in three inches of water.

Once dressed, I put the garment back in its bag—sans cute teeny-weeny G-string—and pulled on a pair of Dillon’s sweats and his hoodie. The soft material felt like butter on my skin as I slipped my shoes back on. I stumbled over to my chair and snagged the bottle of water Kaileigh left me and downed that too. Exhaustion ate away at me, piece by piece. My eyes shuttered as I sighed. Why was Dillon taking so long? As I began to drift, Kaileigh’s words ran through my mind, and my eyes popped open.

The black envelope on the table in front me wavered before my eyes. It couldn’t be. I snatched it up with trembling hands, nearly dropping it as I tried to open it. Bile stuck in my throat, the taste getting stronger with every breath I took and it made my eyes water. I upended the envelope, and four Polaroids and a card fell out.

“Oh, fuck no!” The first tear fell as my mind recognized the image. Someone in the audience took a picture of me with glowing wings and a beaming smile on my face. My heart fought its way up my throat. The next was of me standing in front of Dillon with his face scored out and the word slut written across the bottom. The last two were of me before the show, getting ready backstage. Ice sheeted my skin as a violent shudder rocked through me.

“This can’t b-be happening.” My voice was hoarse as it pushed past my lips, and I tasted my tears on my tongue. I released a tremulous breath and turned over the black piece of card, as I read the words.

I’ve found you!

It slipped from my fingers as I frantically scrambled off my seat. My feet slipped out from underneath me as I tried to run to the backstage door, my heart and head pounding a staccato rhythm. The walls wavered around me. My slick palms slid off the handle, unable to open the door. Darkness crawled across my vision.

“Not like this. Not like this. Please…not like this,” I muttered and tried to yank open my bag and get my phone to call Uncle Daire.

Tears burned down my cheeks. Sobs ripped my throat raw as unintelligible sounds passed my lips. I swiped my hand across my eyes, trying to clear the darkness. My fingers latched around the burner at the bottom of my bag just as the door opened. “T-thank g-god, Dil…”

“There’s no god here,” a shrill voice cackled. “It’s time to meet your maker.” My heart froze. No. No. No. “Pick him up. Chad. I want my money. and that sick fuck’s not going to pay until we hand him over.”

“Ugh. I hope I don’t end up covered in fucking glitter.” The world around me blurred. I felt like I was at sea, the rough water rocking side to side as lights flashed around me. Dillon…

The loud bang of a door jolted me awake. The faint thudding of music reached my ears, but everything was black. “About fucking time, young lady,” a dark voice growled. “Take it and fuck off.”

“I’d say it’s been a pleas…” The voice trailed off as two loud shots rang out. I was floating. Falling. Cold hard ground hit my face.

My head was wrenched backward, and my eyes flung open. “Hello, son.” Pain exploded in my head. My dad’s vile sneer was the last thing I saw before it all went black.

CHAPTER

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