Page 45 of The Lies We Tell Ourselves

After grabbing a quick bite to eat, we arrived at Ava’s friend’s industrial-style apartment. Levi turned out to be an interesting person. He fluttered around like a sparkly pixie, with flawlessly applied makeup and glow-in-the-dark fluorescent pink hair. I was so envious, I couldn’t find words.

“You know, Jamie,” he mused, walking around me and giving me a thorough once over. “You could totally be a model. Your bone structure is exquisite, and your body is bangin’.” I felt light-headed with how quickly blood flooded my face. I felt as neon bright as his hair.

“Um.” I licked my suddenly dry lips. “I’m not sure…” I shrugged and slipped my hands in my pockets to stop from wringing them.

“Hey, there’s no pressure here, babe. Just saying. If you change your mind, I’d love you to model my new line for my next show.”

“Sounds fun!” Ava elbowed me. “I’m doing it too. We could walk together, right?”

“Sure, babe,” Levi agreed and Mal chuckled at the horrified look on my face.

“Only if you’re comfortable, JJ.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him. His quiet support helped me relax as he rested his head on my shoulder. “So, are you happy to let pixie-boy dress you?”

“Heard that!”

“Yeah,” I breathed. “His work is amazing.”

“Knew it!” Ava squealed and ran off into the clothes rails. “Levi, I’m going hunting.” His chuckle rang out as Mal shook his head.

Levi was something else, but he was such a kind and considerate individual. He’d ordered Mal to go and find something for himself and led me over to his work station, which consisted of a white dressing table with the biggest Hollywood mirror I’d ever seen. The table top was covered with an expansive array of makeup that made my heart flutter and my fingers tingle with excitement. He took the time to ask me about what I liked and what I wanted to try. He talked me through the different materials he used to make his designs and showed me what he thought would look best on me. He felt like my very own fairy godmother. I’d never felt so seen and valued as I did the hour Levi devoted to me.

“There. Perfect.” He kissed my cheek and stepped back. “You were made for the runway, babe.”

I gasped at his blunt honesty and looked at myself in the mirror. “Thanks, Levi.” I got up and hugged him, luxuriating in the feel of the silky material as it glided over my skin.

“Are you ready to show your adoring fans?” He winked.

“Never.” I chuckled as he grabbed my hand and led me out to where Mal and Ava waited on his mismatched couches with a glass of sparkly bubbles in their hands. Mal’s wolf whistle nearly deafened me, and Ava gasped and looked like she was about to cry.

“Holy shit, angel. You look hot as hell.” She fanned herself and twirled her finger for me to spin around. “Show me the goods, bestie boo.”

I laughed at her infectious excitement and spun around. “What do you think?” I turned to look at Mal who sat, mouth agape, not saying anything. He rubbed his eyes, and a blinding smile lit up his face.

“I… just… wow, JJ. You’ve always been gorgeous in that kind of sweet boy next door, wallflower kind of way, but like this.” He huffed out a breath. “I’m going to need to beat guys off you with a baseball bat.”

“You’re funny.” I flushed and bit my lip.

“Seriously, babe. You’re a freaking knockout,” Levi said and handed me a glass of bubbles. The sweet and sour tang burst over my tongue as I took a sip, hoping it would calm the butterflies rioting in my stomach. “So, is there anyone special in your life? Maybe he’d like a photo of you?” My mind immediately went to Dillon, but we weren’t anything, were we? He blew hot and cold, and it was confusing as fuck.

I shook my head before downing the rest of my drink. “No,” I said in a small voice.

“Well, after tonight, you won’t be short of admirers, babe.” Levi hugged me before leaving to get himself ready, and I walked over to the full-length mirror placed against the far wall. Mal and Ava were debating something about the LGBTQ club, and didn’t notice the tears pooling in my eyes as my heart ached.

I stared at my reflection. I looked like me but different. Classier, more confident, a bit like Jamie 2.0. I was in a pair of tight leather pants that looked like they had been spray painted onto me—leaving nothing to the imagination—along with a sparkly thong underneath. But it was my top and makeup that made me feel out of this world. I’d spent so much of my time looking at confident gay guys and always wondered what it would be like to feel silk or lace against my skin, but I’d never had the confidence or opportunity to try. It was like Levi had plucked my dreams right out of my head.

I had a tightly fitted black fishnet crop top underneath the most amazing holographic mesh long-sleeved shirt that clung to me like a second skin. It shimmered between electric blue and the most vivid violet I’d ever seen. To complete my look, he gave me dark sultry eyes that shimmered in the same tones as my top. It made the dark gray ring around my iris stand out so much against the pale-blue, it looked like I was wearing contacts. He’d highlighted and contoured my cheeks so well, it was almost like I’d had plastic surgery. My bone structure looked amazing.

Mal’s head appeared over my shoulder with an indulgent smile on his face. “You ready?”

“I am now.” I grinned, feeling excited for the first time today.

“So, where is this event held?” I asked as we walked arm-in-arm across the quad. The evening temperature had dropped as night fell, but the low cloud cover seemed to be keeping the cooler temperatures at bay for a little while longer.

“In one of the main faculty function rooms,” Ava said. Our steps slowed as movement at the periphery of the quad caught our attention. A large group headed in our direction, consisting of the football team and the girls who seemed drawn to them like moths to a flame.

A leggy blond in a tight-fitting black pantsuit sauntered over to us and sneered. “Ugh, if it isn’t the pathetic rainbow parade. What are you freaks doing out at night?”

“Ignore her,” Mal ground out through gritted teeth.

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