Page 64 of Felix

He laughs, lifting his chin in a proud display or a bid for a kiss; I’m not sure which. “You like it.”

In answer, I drop my mouth to his. He sighs against me, hands flattening on my lower back. In no hurry to be anywhere else, I keep Specs pressed against the counter, and we kiss and kiss and kiss.

“So we have a couple different species of hermit crabs available,” the pet store employee tells us as she leads Emil and I down a row of glass fish tanks. “You got your last one here?”

“Yeah, I did,” Emil answers. Despite being nervous when he asked if I’d come with him to get Arthur a tank mate, Emil seems determined now as we stop in front of a selection of hermit crabs. He points to the ones that look like Arthur. “He’s a Coenobita clypeatus. I think I’d like to get one about the same size.”

“That’s a good idea,” the employee says. “You’ll want an isolation tank for the first thirty to sixty days. What size is your terrarium?”

“Thirty gallons,” Emil says.

“That’s great,” she chirps. “Plenty of space for two young crabs. Do you know the process for isolation and introduction?”

As Emil and the employee discuss the logistics of adding a crab to his terrarium, I bend down and watch the little crustaceans. The ones in this tank are itty bitty, like Arthur, with bodies in varying shades of orange. It’s hard to imagine that Arthur could, one day, be the size of a baseball.

“What do you think of the one on the rock?” Emil asks, bending down next to me. “He’s pretty cute, right?”

I glance over at my brand-new boyfriend as he bites his lip. “Adorable.”

He nods absentmindedly, eyes sweeping the tank. “What if I choose wrong?”

I knock his shoulder gently with my own. “What does your gut say, Specs?”

He looks at me, letting out a breath. “For some reason, it’s saying the one on the rock.”

“Then that’s the one you should get.”

He nods again before standing upright. “Um, we’re ready.”

The employee helps us gather everything Emil needs for the isolation tank before loading his new hermit crab into a transportation carrier for the short trip home. Emil glances over at me and the crab in my lap every available chance as he drives.

“He’s fine,” I assure him for the tenth time.

Emil nods, but his tension doesn’t dissipate until we’re pulling into the parking lot behind his building. Between the two of us, we manage to bring everything up to his apartment in one trip. Emil sets to work outfitting the small tank, adding substrate and rocks and various bowls for water and food, while I continue to assure him his new crab is alive and well.

“Okay, it’s ready,” Emil says some time later.

Ever so carefully, he transfers the new hermit crab into the terrarium, a mini replica of the one Arthur resides in. We both watch, and Emil holds his breath as the new crab immediately burrows out of sight.

“Yeah, good,” he says, blowing out a breath and nodding. “He’ll need some time to destress, possibly molt. This is good.”

I give Emil’s shoulder a squeeze. “You’re a good crab dad, Specs. Everything will be fine.”

He snorts, but there’s relief in his eyes when he looks my way. “Thanks for helping me do this.”

“I’m not sure I did anything.”

He shakes his head, resituating so that his leg is pressed against mine. We’ve barely been apart all weekend, but I like it. The closeness. Spending time with Specs.

“You’re here, Christian,” he says softly. “That’s everything.”

My gut swoops, the briefest sensation of free fall. It’s so simple. And so big.

Is this what people mean when they say they’re falling?

Slowly, I edge my pinkie over until it touches Emil’s. He loops his own over top of mine and lays his head on my shoulder. Locked together, it’s all too easy to make a vow.

If Emil needs someone to be there for him, I’ll show up. Time and time again.

---