Page 48 of Your Side of the Offense

Well, damn. I don't know what to say to that.

"Don't throw that in my face," I retort instead after I recover.

He doesn't answer.

My poor Arch. I hope it's nothing major. Suddenly, I feel like shit. I remember the last time I saw him. He avoided looking at me at all cost, we barely made eye contact. He wasn't all that great, but I thought he would be fine.

He still had them, and they'd take care of him, so I didn't think much of it. But it’s been weeks. My heart hurts when I think of what he could have been going through while I was out there doing my thing.

Caleb drives us to the nearest hospital.

"Won't he be mad if he sees me?" My voice is small, throat is clogged with sour emotions. The possibility that he could resent me for turning my back on him. Maybe we didn't have to be dating but we could have been friends. But I blocked all possibilities of everything.

"He asked for you before he passed out." That's all Caleb gives me.

He is being short with me. Does he blame me too? Aren't I to blame? I will never forgive myself if something happens to him. I hope he's alright.

I'm about to say something when my phone rings and it’s Logan. I reject the call. I don't have time to talk to him right now. He calls again and I reject his call again.

"You should answer. Did you have plans?"

If you can call a date plans, sure. But I don’t say it. I’m sure I don't want to talk to Logan right now. So I decide on a text.

I just had an emergency. I'll be in touch when it’s sorted.

I hope he doesn't hound me with calls. I don't have fucking energy to baby him right now.

"They are canceled now," I say, putting my phone on Airplane mode, not wanting to be hounded with calls or texts. I don't have time to deal with other people right now. I'll deal with everything after I know Archer is fine.

"You sure you don't want to call him?" Caleb asks as we drive into the parking lot.

"He'll survive."

My mind isn't even with other people. I am just anxious to see Archer. We get out of the car and make it to the ward he’s in. The others are in the waiting area. Their eyes find me instantly, and I see the anger in them.

They have never looked at me like that, like I'm the bad guy. They definitely all blame me for this, and I can't help thinking maybe they’re right. I sit next to Jaden on his phone.

"How is he?"

"The doctor just came, he’ll be fine, but they are keeping him overnight and the nurse is with him. They'll let us in soon," Harvey says.

I nod. That familiar burning of the throat comes back as my emotions push to spill out through a wail or a sob. All the guilt. All the questions. All the self-loathing.

"Does he hate me?" Tears slide down my face before I can hope to hold them back. I wipe them away quickly. This is not about me.

"Look, Summer, he's in a bad space. We know you want nothing to do with us but he…he needs you. So…just don't push him away. He's not…coping with your absence." Harvey gives me a stern look. But I also see the fierceness. This is their friend, and they want me to 'stop screwing with him.'

More tears roll down and I sniffle, but nod. I don't plan to harm him any further. I'm open mouthed trying to say something to reassure them I am here on pure intention, and I am going to place my weapons down where he is concerned when the nurse walks in.

"You are his family and friends, right?" She looks at us. I take the tissue Jaden offers me and I wipe my face.

"Yes." We all stand.

"He can see you now, but you can't stay long, he needs to rest," she says and I ask for the bathroom before she leaves, and go splash my face with water.

I don't want to be a crying mess when I see him. I try to breathe and collect myself. It’s only when my heels are clinking in the mostly quiet hospital corridors that I remember I'm wearing them. What a poor choice of shoe this was after all.

I knock when I get to the door. I don't know why I am doing it, but I feel like I'm not welcome and that maybe Archer doesn't really want to see me. Maybe him asking for me was just something he didn't mean.

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