Page 46 of Your Side of the Offense

I don't actually know what I'm hoping for with this talk, but I hope I’m at least unburdened a little. I don't know what that means but I hope for something.

Half an hour later, I am walking into his house. I let myself in when I get there, finding him on the couch, topless. He smiles easily when he sees me, and I walk to him.

"Hey, pretty girl." Logan extends his hand and I go to him.

"Hey, pretty boy," I joke and he laughs.

"That was horrible, babe."

"I know." I hug him then he pulls my face in a kiss.

It takes me by surprise, but I give in, and I let him pull me to his lap, straddling him. I slide my hands around his neck, and he grabs my ass and squeezes. I moan in his mouth because I like that.

The touching gets hotter as his hands move under my clothes. The kiss gets deeper as we slowly introduce tongue. The kiss moves to the neck, and I moan. His hand moves, slipping inside my pants and panic sets in.

My hand grabs his and I pull away panting.

"Is something wrong?" I see a flash of annoyance in his features, and I feel a little bad. But I am not ready to go there with him yet.

"I'm sorry, I'm…I'm not ready for that yet."

"Are you serious, Su?"

I frown. Is he mad I'm not ready for more?

I get off him. "Logan, I told you—"

"That you weren't ready. Yeah, yeah, I remember," he says, getting up and heads to the kitchen.

Wait, is he angry? Like real angry? I get up and follow him.

"Are you mad?"

"No, Summer, why would I be? Why would I be mad that you are still pining for your exes even when I'm right here and I want you and I have stated my intentions for you. And you won't give me anything in return." He turns. "Why would I be mad at all?"

The sarcasm is really annoying.

It feels like a slap in my face. Am I wrong for not being ready? It's not even a full two months seeing this guy, am I crazy?

"Is sex all you want from me, Logan? Is that what this is about?"

"Sex? Su, I've fucked more girls than you can think. Do I want to have sex with my girlfriend? Yes. We aren’t in middle school; sex isn't some future prize. But it’s whatever, you know? And you know what sucks?" He pauses only for a second. "That you won't even fully give me a chance. It's like pulling teeth and Su I don't want to be second best to you."

I stand there frozen. That. Was. A. Lot.

My mouth hangs open, I don't know how to respond to that outburst.

Can I even respond? Is he wrong? Am I being unfair for not being ready? Do I want to have sex with him?

The answer for that is I'm not ready.

But for some reason I don't want to let go of him either. Maybe he's good for me. Maybe he can really help me move on.

"Um, Logan, listen I get it. I know I'm taking everything slow and the other situation but…" I step closer and grab his face. "I want to be with you. I'm trying to sort out my shit, but I also do want to be here with you for real. I like you a lot and I will get there, just…give me time, please?" I stare into his eyes, hoping whatever magic Caleb used to say I have I still do.

He used to say if I were a mystical creature, I'd be a siren because no one could resist me. Harvey on the other end used to call me his little demon – little D. Said I had superpowers to tempt and bend people to my will.

Logan brushes my hand that's on him and exhales.

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