Page 38 of Your Side of the Offense

Should I text him and explain myself? We barely said anything when he drove me home and I basically ran when he stopped outside.

I brush my teeth before jumping in the shower. The cold water helps nothing really, but it’s a welcome temporary relief. When I step out, I dry myself and get ready for bed. At least if I can sleep, maybe I'll be able to think better tomorrow.

Settling in, I lay on my back, trying to breathe myself calm and close my eyes.

The night comes back to me, playing like a movie. Going to the party, arriving at the party and Logan not letting me out of his sight. Making sure everybody saw I was with him, holding my hand, then Trevor and Gabby with their big mouths and the big dummies rising to the occasion.

Harvey defended me when those assholes were getting judgy. The little things Logan was doing all night to 'claim' me. Whispering to me, brushing my hand. And I just sat there for all of it.

I don't know when I became so docile. Maybe my wish to hurt them is going to push me to doing even more things I don’t plan to, like the kiss. Cause I mean, what's next?

Why can't they just leave me alone? Why can't they just let it go? Why do they have to make things so difficult? I'm just trying to focus on school. Why can't they just disappear and find another school so I don't have to see them and be reminded of everything we shared?

Why can't I stop loving them?

I get fucked up every time I see them; it’s fucking pathetic. When Jaden winked at me, I remembered how his touch felt, how he used to kiss my face till I fell asleep, how he flirted with me all the time, those little stolen moments between me and him.

Why can't I just forget? Why is moving on so hard?

When it is clear I can't sleep, I find myself getting up. I change to sweats, take my phone, and leave. Crossing campus like a tornado, I pass drunk students and those doing all sorts of debauchery. The night is still very much young for most.

Parties are still going on in many houses when I make to them.

I inhale once when I get to the door. I try opening the door, but it’s locked. Fury fills me when I hear something like a girl giggling.

BANG BANG BANG.

The door opens and Caleb’s face twists in a frown when he sees me.

"Are you okay?"

"Move." I walk past him. I find Jaden and Harvey in the living room with a few other guys drinking and smoking and watching a football game.

All eyes turn to me, and I regret a little why I thought coming here was a great idea and why I'm looking like a frump. All the girls are still dolled up.

I feel unsure suddenly.

"I need to talk to you," I say. "Hi." I wave at everyone else.

Harvey and Jaden look pissed. At me.

"Come this way," Caleb says behind me and I follow him upstairs, the rest of the guys following behind me.

He pushes one of the doors and turns on the light. My heart almost stops when I find Archer sitting in the dark alone. It tugs at my heart.

"Archer, you okay?"

His face snaps to me and it's like he just snapped out of wherever he was.

"You're here?" he asks hesitantly, and he looks at the others. The door closes behind me and I jump a little.

"This is not a social visit," I say. I need to be strong.

"Then why are you here, Summer?" Jaden stands before me, looking down at me. He is furious. Too furious. He must have seen me kiss Logan.

Well, fuck. But I straighten. I am single and I don't owe him any loyalty. As far as I know, I can kiss who I want.

"This thing has to stop. I can't keep having these weird run ins with you when I'm with…"

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