Page 128 of Your Side of the Offense

"Three months and a half," she says.

"What?" I say loudly, too loudly for a library.

Fay looks around. Before her gaze comes back to me sporting a sympathetic look.

"Um, I have to go," she says and I nod.

"Thanks," I say as she walks away, and she turns to nod over her shoulder before she disappears in a row of shelves.

39

NOTHING AND EVERYTHING

Summer

I trod across campus just after 10 p.m. I asked Arch to tell me when Harv came back because they said he has been disappearing a lot lately, and he came back half an hour ago. I am knocking on their door not much later and Harvey opens the door. My heart beats faster even as it bleeds for him.

He frowns. "Summer. What are you doing here this late?" He takes a step back, letting me in.

I lick my lips, taking his full gaze. He looks a little disheveled and I smell some liquor on him.

"I came for you. Can we talk?" I stand in front of him.

He looks down at me for a moment before he turns walking towards the stairs. Closing the door behind me, I follow him. The others are watching TV and I wave at them, and they greet me back. But I quickly move from them and follow Harvey. A myriad of emotions passing through me all at the same time.

He opens the door and waits for me to get in before he comes in and closes it. He passes me and I watch him walk to the window. I can't help but feel like he is getting as far away from me as he can. But I also sense his restlessness.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yes, I am. Are you?"

"No."

"Oh."

It hurts more than it should. But I swallow my feelings, I know this isn't about me. I just need to remember that.

"I met Fay at the library." I watch his reaction closely, but he only takes his phone out of his pocket and looks at something on his screen. His dismissive aura messing with me a little.

"Okay." He brings his neutral gaze back to me.

"She told me you were step cousins."

"And?" he asks, almost in annoyance.

"What is bothering you, Harvey?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he says coldly.

"It isn't just me. And you being pissy at me isn't going to solve it for you either, so just fucking talk to me so we can work it out."

He snorts like I just said something ridiculous.

"We don't talk anymore, remember?" he says, holding my gaze intently. He is trying to push me away which makes me more determined to not retreat.

"I fucked up, Harvey. I am sorry. I know I was supposed to handle that better and I didn't. And I know you've been going through some things with your family. I don't know what to fucking do. How can I fix this?" I take a few steps towards him.

For a moment I think he will take down his walls and confide in me like he used to, but he looks away. He doesn't say anything either. Just rewards me with silence.

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