Page 111 of Your Side of the Offense

"She isn't going anywhere with you." Caleb stands next to me, but I feel him vibrating.

"Summer, let's go," Logan says again.

"I am not going anywhere with you. In fact, don't ever fucking call my name again. I should have known you were just a piece of shit. Lose my fucking number." I say and turn, taking Caleb's hand. I have more important things to deal with than Logan and his bruised ego.

But Caleb doesn't move. "If I hear you came near her again, I'll bring it to your doorstep, asshole."

Then we leave.

He walks me to my next class and at the door he looks at me. "Are you going to be fine? I can come with."

I give him a small smile. "Nah. Go to your class. I'll maybe see you later," I say, clasping the straps of my bag tighter. Still reeling from the adrenaline.

"You coming to the house, right?" he asks cautiously.

"Um, I don't know." I answer honestly.

He looks a little frustrated. "Summer, we need to talk, to work this out…"

My eyes glisten with hot tears. "Why do you still want me?"

My chest tightens with emotion. I feel so pathetic and seeing one of them always brings all my emotions to the fore. I realize how fucking sad I am.

He pulls me to him and holds me. "Sweetheart, we'll get through this. Just us."

I don't answer. When he pulls away, he holds my face in his hands.

"Cal, I just need some time, okay? Just give me some time."

With hesitation, he nods then leans in and kisses my forehead. I hold back more hot tears. When he turns to leave, I watch him go to the direction of the stairs until he disappears. I go to class, go through all my classes. The day actually goes by way quicker than I like. I head to the library after and by 9 p.m., I am hungry and with the words swimming on my laptop, I know it's time I went to my dorm.

I carry my laptop and books and realize as I stand at the line at the coffee shop that I am dog tired. I decide to check my phone that's been on silent the whole day.

Logan: *47 messages*

I sigh. I really should block him. But like a fool I decide to open it. All basically repeating the same thing. I cheated on him first, I'm the worst person in the world, he loved me, I used him…blah blah blah. Men really be having the audacity with their whole chest.

There are also messages from my sister, gran, mother, Jaden, Caleb, and Arch. Once again, it stabs at my heart that there is this huge separation between me and Harv. And I don't know how to fix it. I feel like apologizing is just not even going to cut it. How do I fix what I've done?

Society trivializes sexual assault against men, and I’ve done exactly that. If the roles were reversed, I would hate him. I would never want anything to do with him. Someone who left me after something so horrible happened. I think it's why it feels a little wrong getting back into relationship territory with the others too because I need to make things right with him first.

The door dings just as I'm next in line and I can't stop my face from shining with tears when Harvey walks in with this redhead I've seen him with a few times on campus. When our eyes meet, he looks like he didn't expect to see me here and I look away.

"Yo, how may I help you?" the cashier almost yells at me and I notice I am just standing there like a dummy.

"Um…" then I just walk away. I leave without buying anything.

It feels like my heart just got broken again. The situation with Logan means nothing compared to this.

I mean, I knew Harvey was messing around with some girls but what if he has a girlfriend. My chest just clogs further, and I don't even know how I get home, but I do. When I finally close the door to my dorm, I breathe a little.

Throwing my bag on my bed, I go to the bathroom. I am not even in the mood to shower. I’m just tired, and I want to sleep. I wash my face and change to my pajamas. Then roll myself under my blankets and weep.

The next day I decide I am not in the mood to see anyone, and I stay in my room studying for the upcoming tests and working on my assignments. Staying in pajamas all day and ordering in.

In the afternoon, I get a knock on my door. I contemplate not answering it because it's probably one of the people I don't want to see, but I get up, nonetheless. I can't hide from the world forever.

I open the door and who but my snake of a friend stands at the door.

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