Penny’s kitchen looked a little different, too, along with furnishings that were decidedly European. But despite the differences, the warmth was the same. Her mother had always made sure that their house felt warm and inviting. The Sullivans’ house also felt like a place where you wanted to kick up your feet and laugh with people you cared about and who cared about you.
Malcolm lifted her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles lightly. Just that one small kiss sent shivers running through her. She knew her face must be coloring and that everyone could see how deeply in his thrall she was, but she didn’t mind. This was his family, and she wanted them to know how much he had come to mean to her. And yet, there were a few times over the course of the past hour or so when she’d looked across at him and felt that something was troubling him. But whenever he caught sight of her, he’d smile, and she’d wonder if she was imagining it.
Once they were all seated, Simon Sullivan raised his glass. “I’d like to propose a toast to the pleasure of having Josie Hartwell here with us today. Though we’ve only known you a week, it feels like we’ve been friends for much longer. I know everyone at the table is so glad that you came to England and Elderflower Island, and we’re so pleased that you have decided to stay on.”
They were all about to clink their glasses when Alice piped in with, “And we’re really glad that you’ve decided to stick with Malc too. I thought he was a lost cause there for a while.”
Josie put her free hand on his leg and squeezed it. She knew how much Alice and the rest of his family loved him, but they could be hard on him. She wanted to love him in all the ways no one but his family had ever loved him. Wholly and completely, unselfishly and unconditionally.
And she hoped—oh, how she hoped—that he would love her the same way. Silently, she reminded herself yet again that he was the one who had suggested they make things serious, real, proper. That always made her grin—a “proper” relationship. Especially when the things they did when their clothes were off in the dark were anything but proper. Pulling her mind from the delicious gutter, she said, “Thank you. Thank you for being so welcoming and for making England feel like home. I am so excited to start this new adventure.”
Mari was also bubbling with excitement. She said, “The first reading retreat starts Wednesday, and it’s just the first of many.” Now she raised her glass. “I want to thank all of you for helping us get the cottages ready in time. To the Sullivans.”
After they’d all sipped, Malcolm’s mother spoke up. “If you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask.”
It was so touching, Josie thought. Amazingly, the retreat was only a few days away, and in spite of all the work they’d had to do, the cottages were going to be ready. She could hardly wait to welcome the first guests.
And then, with the toasts out of the way, it was time to eat her first Sunday roast.
When Malcolm offered to serve her, she took some of everything. How could she resist? It all looked so delicious—roast beef, roast potatoes, cauliflower with cheese sauce, grilled vegetables drizzled with gravy, plus big, fluffy Yorkshire puddings.
Around a mouthful of beef, Tom asked, “So, Josie, are you planning to stay on Malcolm’s houseboat, or will you—”
“She’s staying on my boat.”
Josie turned to Malcolm, a bit surprised at his insistence and the fact that he hadn’t even let Tom finish his question. They hadn’t actually talked about whether or not they’d move in together right away.
“And I take it your flat’s out of commission for a while still?” Tom asked, one eyebrow raised.
Malcolm seemed to glare at his brother. “As far as I know, that’s the case. But I wasn’t planning on returning to it anyway.”
Again, this was news to Josie. They’d been so busy with the cottages and then making love once they were back at the boat, plus keeping up with their two businesses, that they hadn’t really discussed the logistics of how this would work. Only that they were together now.
She didn’t know why it worried her, but it felt like things were moving so quickly. Shouldn’t this be what she wanted? For them to fall head over heels for each other and never want to be apart? But the thing was, with Malcolm she wasn’t convinced it was quite that easy. After all, he’d been a lone wolf for pretty much his entire life. For him to want to switch that abruptly, well, she wasn’t going to say it felt forced. It was more that she wasn’t quite sure it rang completely true. She didn’t doubt his feelings for her. On the contrary, she knew how much he cared. He told her and showed her constantly. But she also understood that just because you decided something didn’t mean that it was simple to just switch to it overnight.
Which was only reinforced when Tom next asked, “And the job? Are you chucking that in too? Not that I don’t think you should, because I’ve wondered how you’ve managed to stick it out in an office that long.”
There seemed to be a bit of a rivalry between the two brothers, maybe because they were so close in age, or maybe because Tom didn’t tiptoe around Malcolm quite as much as everyone else did. They were all honest with him, but Tom seemed more likely to go straight to the heart of things. Almost as though he was trying to provoke a response.
“The more I think about it,” Malcolm said, “the more I’m starting to wonder if it’s time for a career change. Back to working with my hands.”
Yet again, this wasn’t something they’d discussed. Of course, she knew that he really enjoyed working on the cottages, and she also knew that his work wasn’t nearly as fulfilling as it had once been. But the fact that he might not only decide to change his relationship patterns with her but also to switch careers, all in one fell swoop?
Unsettled sensations swirled low in her gut. But maybe this was just her own fears popping up. Maybe this was just being worried that she would be hurt again. But he had promised he wouldn’t hurt her. That was one of the first things he had said to her after they’d started to connect. And she believed him. So then, why did her smile feel slightly forced as everybody chimed in on what a pleasure it had been to work on the cottages and what a great job she and Malcolm had done? This time, his hand was the one going to her lap. And under the table, she clasped it, as though she was trying to hold on to the sweet feeling she had whenever it was just the two of them and they weren’t thinking about the real world.
When the meal was over, she insisted on helping with the cleanup. And it was lovely drying dishes at the sink with Malcolm and his mother and father. She just wished she could shake off that slight sense of unease. Would her past relationship battles always be with her? Or would she one day be able to embrace love without fear at all?
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
They were in Malcolm’s car, driving back from his parents’ house, when Josie asked, “Are you really thinking about changing careers?”
“I’ve been feeling like it’s time for a change for a while now,” he replied. “And then you gave me Walden, and that made me think about what I really want. It’s been good to get back to work with my hands.” He reached over to take hers. “And I’ve loved working with you.”
“If I were still going to leave, would you still be making the same plans? Or is this because you’re worried I won’t be able to make this transition without your help?”
“I’m not the least bit worried about you,” he replied. “You’re resilient, you’re smart, and there’s that positive attitude of yours. Whatever situation is thrown at you, I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll make it work.”
“I know you’re exactly the same,” she said. “And it’s not that I’m at all doubting that you’ll make a success of any career change you want to make. I guess I’m just projecting some of my own fears onto you.”