Page 34 of The Darkness Within

Brewer Marx is flustered and ruffled by my proximity and my wandering gaze, and for the first time in… fuck, how long has it been? Months? A year?… I’m interested. Actually interested, and not just guarding my real feelings and thoughts.

“Both. And yes, you’re hopeless.”

“I’ll make you a deal. You help me stay clean, and I won’t try to sleep with you.” Brewer chokes, which makes my grin grow wider.

“Like I said, you’re a terrible flirt. I don’t even think you know when you’re doing it.”

“Trust me, I know what I’m doing. It’s a crutch for me, just like the pills. A way for me to focus my attention outward instead of inward.”

“Look, it’s not just me. I don’t think you should be sleeping with anyone right now. I just want you to put yourself first, and focus on your recovery. Block out all of the distractions.”

Hmmm, with his quiet strength and confidence, and his rugged-everyday-joe-but-hot-enough-to-be-a-model looks, Brewer could most definitely become a distraction. “Brewer, you don’t have to worry about me. My dick doesn’t even work, remember? I’m not trying to have sex with anyone,” I deflect.

“Good, keep your limp dick zipped up,” he teases, gifting me with his gorgeous grin and twinkling almond eyes.

“You’re the only person I know who can get away with calling my dick limp.”

“Because I’m the only person who knows.”

And the only person I trust. “Well, you and the doc.” Completely fucking humiliating.

Great, now I’m blushing.

Brewer clears his throat. “You know, I can help you with that.” My nostrils flare. His words hit me like a gut punch. “When you’re ready, I mean.” I’m ready. Right fucking now. “I’ve learned techniques to improve virility in ED without meds. Visualization and meditation, aromatherapy, and the use of certain herbs that increase blood flow.”

How utterly unsexy and disappointing. I was hoping Brewer would employ the personal touch technique, and that the oral part of his guided meditation would be less instructive and more wet heat.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I assure him.

A lanky brunet strolls into the kitchen, whistling and barefoot. “Hi, new guy, I’m Tex.”

Smiling, I answer. “Hey, Tex, I’m Nash.”

He addresses Brewer. “Hey, doll.”

The smile falls from my face as it tightens. “He’s not some bitch. Don’t call him doll. His name is Brewer.”

“Really?” Tex challenges, smiling like he’s being pranked. My eyebrow hitches. I can say a lot without saying anything. It’s my sergeant training.

He scoffs, turning to Brewer. “I’m sorry, Brewer. I didn’t mean any disrespect.” With one last glare at me, he walks out.

Brewer turns his wrath on me. “What?” I ask.

“The next time you get offended on my behalf, why don’t you ask me first if I’m actually offended before you defend me?”

“But he called you…”

“Again, that’s my decision to make, not yours.”

“I’m sorry.” What in the hell am I supposed to say? I suck at apologies.

“You will be if you don’t make things right with him.”

Brewer leaves through the door that leads downstairs into his apartment. Rinsing my mug out in the sink, I head to my bedroom to finish getting ready for work. As I pass through the living room, I see Tex sitting on the couch, and I pause beside it.

“Don’t start with me right now.” He doesn’t even look at me as he continues flipping through the channels.

“I just want to say I’m sorry.” He looks up, surprised. “It wasn’t my place to intervene.”

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