Page 18 of Proof Of Life

“Easier said than done, smart ass. You’re gonna have to help me.” I grab the handle of his chair and wheel it over to the bed, lining it up like Liza showed me.

“I’ll do the best I can. But I have faith in you, Reaper. You would never let me fall.” I’m touched by his words. Of course, I would never let him fall. Not in battle, not in the shower, either. “‘Cause if I hurt myself, it means we’ve got to stay in this shithole even longer.”

Despite turning it into a joke, I feel like he’s half-serious. He knows I would never fail him if I could help it.

“What about your bandage? Should we get it wet?” Liza is going to kick my fucking ass for doing this undercover.

“Just take it off. The stitches are closing nicely. It won’t hurt to get it wet. She can put a new bandage on when we finish.”

Together, we scoot him into his chair, and I wheel him toward the bathroom. It’s a lot easier than it used to be just days ago, before they removed his IV drips and heart monitor.

Reaching into the shower, I turn on the water and adjust it to scalding hot like he prefers. The tiny bathroom fills with thick steam. I grab towels, washcloths, and a bar of soap and stock it in the shower stall.

“Grab onto the bar and I’ll help you stand.”

He reaches for the metal safety bar screwed into the wall, and I hoist under his arms to help him balance on his leg, making sure he’s steady before I scoot the chair away. Then I untie his gown and slip it from his shoulders.

“Put your arm around my shoulders and lean on me, and we’ll walk into the shower together.”

“You’re gonna leave your clothes on?” He sounds surprised.

“I don’t need to shower. Do you really want to get in that tiny stall with me naked?”

“This is fucking stupid,” he gripes, looking for his chair.

I’m making him feel self-conscious by remaining dressed. The spotlight is all on him, and it’s too much for him to bear. I get it. I might feel the same way if it were me.

“Okay, Okay. Just give me a second to get undressed while you hold on to the bar. Don’t let go,” I warn in a dire voice as I strip quickly. For a moment, I debate whether I should leave my briefs on or not, but it will just feel more awkward for both of us if I leave them on.

“All right, come on, put your arm around me. Step slowly.”

We shuffle into the tiny tiled stall, and I guide him to the safety rail. “Your job is to hold on to this and don’t let go. I’ll do the washing.”

Soaping up the cloth, I begin with his back because it’s the easiest place to start. He still has cuts and bruises that are in various stages of healing, and I rub over them gently. We’re quiet, nothing but the sound of the water, and the tension is growing thicker than the cloud of steam.

I laugh nervously. “Why is this suddenly awkward as fuck? It’s not the first time we’ve showered together.”

“Yeah, but it’s the first time you’re washing me.” He leans his head down under the spray, shifting his spine and the muscles in his back in stark relief. No matter what he’s been through, he’s still beautiful. He’ll always be beautiful.

“I think it’s awkward because you feel vulnerable.”

“I fucking hate this,” he whispers harshly.

“I know, I hate it too,” and I do hate it. I hate that he has no confidence anymore. I hate that he hates himself. Sliding the washcloth over his shoulders, I leave a trail of suds in my wake as I wash down his arms. “You have such nice skin.”

West laughs and shrugs me off. “Fuck off, Hannibal Lecter. What, are you gonna make a skin suit out of me?”

I can’t help but laugh with him. “No, that was stupid. I just–”

West leans back against my body, fusing his wet skin with mine. With my right hand on his hip to steady him, I trail my left hand holding the rag down his rib cage.

“Reaper?”

My lips hover over his ear. “What?” The word is just a caress, and he shivers in my arms.

“Just…Don’t ever feel sorry for me. If I thought you pitied me, I would kill myself in a hot second.”

It’s hard to swallow, almost impossible, as everything inside of me tightens painfully. “Don’t say shit like that.”

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