I picture the closest pull-off I can use to cry my eyes out because I know that's going to happen long before I get to my final destination, wherever that might be.
"Nothing," he whispers.
"You're not going to make me leave?"
"I probably should," he says, a hint of defeat in his tone. "The work I do is dangerous. It would put you in danger, and I'm not just saying that. People connected to Cerberus have been hurt in the past. We deal with the worst of the worst, and they don't blink an eye hurting people, especially the ones we care for if anything for the distraction it might offer for them to escape."
"You want me to leave," I surmise, my heart threatening to break all over again.
He shakes his head. "You not being here would probably be best."
The crack in my chest begins to widen.
"I would tear apart the earth if something happened to you, but no Zara, I don't want you to leave. Honestly, I don't know how I'd survive with you gone, but it has to be your choice."
"I have a choice?" I ask, trying to lighten the mood, but all he does is frown.
"I'm not holding you prisoner, and I don't want you here out of fear. You'll be as safe as you would've been before you met me if you leave now."
"Before I met you," I whisper softly, looking down at my hands.
Just the thought of it makes me realize just how short a time we've had since I first locked eyes on him in the bar, but somehow at the same time, it feels like we've known each other forever, as if our souls were always meant to join.
"I want you to really think about it. I can do my best to keep you safe, but the danger is real. It's not some far-off concept of danger like riding in a car or going for a hike in the woods. There may come a time when someone will think it's in their best interest to hurt you to get to me."
I swallow, trying to take his words in and really consider the choice I seem to have.
"Know that I will kill anyone who ever even thinks about it, but that may come at a cost to you as well."
"It sounds like you want me to leave," I whisper, looking up at him.
He shakes his head without hesitation. "This is one time in my life I'm being selfish. I want you here with me."
"Do I have to make that choice right now?"
"No. I'd feel a lot better if you took some time and really thought over the pros and cons. I'd like for you to stay here while you do that if it's not too much to ask."
I look around the room.
"Full disclosure, if the answer turns out to be no, then I can have you relocated."
"To a place you only know about?" I say jokingly.
He shakes his head. "Just the opposite. If I know where you are, I'll end up going to you. I wouldn't be able to help myself."
I pull in a deep breath as I meet his eyes.
"I can't even guarantee that not knowing where you are in the beginning would keep me from looking for and finding you."
"Sounds like you have it really bad," I say, taking a chance on something emotional, knowing he's not really the type to admit to such things despite what his actions are already telling me.
The man has confessed he'd go to the ends of the earth to protect me, that he'd plow over anyone that got in his way. Billy couldn't even be bothered to meet for dinner when I'd call and tell him I had to work late. The comparison is vast, the two men are starkly different in the way they care for me.
His throat works on a swallow, and I try not to feel insulted when he doesn't look happy about the way he feels, and it's one more thing I have to take into consideration in my decision.
"What does it look like if I stay?"
He looks around the room as if the answers are something tangible he can pull from the air, but then his shoulders lift.