Page 2 of The Game She Hates

Pearl Davis

Robyn bursts into my room, practically shouting, “I’m out of toothpaste. Can I grab yours?”

With a sigh, I respond from my prone position on the bed, not bothering to tear my gaze away from the wall. “Yeah, you can grab mine.”

The silence that follows prompts me to glance her way. She’s giving me that look, the one that says she’s expecting more from me. “Actually, I think I have a new one in the top cupboard,” I add hastily, hoping to deflect her disapproval.

I ignore her pointed stare and roll onto my back and groan inwardly. An unwelcome conversation is coming and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

“I don’t like this one bit, P,” Robyn says, drawing back the curtains that have seen little sun in the last few weeks. “You’ve got to stop wallowing in your pain and come back to church.”

I bury my face in the pillow, trying to shield myself from the unwelcome sunlight that feels all too contrary to my inner darkness. “I can’t, Robs,” I mumble softly through the fabric. “I’m just not ready to see them.”

“It’s not just about Duke and Kate anymore, P,” she insists, her tone softening from harsh to understanding. “It’s about you missing church. And me sitting by myself again, like I haven’t done my part in convincing you to become my best friend and roommate.”

Robyn and I crossed paths over five years ago at church, and let me tell you, she had a stern expression that could scare away a whole litter of puppies. While everyone mistook her quiet demeanor for unfriendliness, I saw through her stoic exterior. We clicked instantly; there’s no doubt that our friendship was predestined. She became my rock during the chaos of pursuing my master’s in clinical psychology, and I like to believe I nudged her out of her comfort zone, teaching her the fine art of small talk along the way.

I dramatically toss the pillow aside and fix my gaze on her pixie-like face framed by short honey-blond hair. She’s my favorite person in the entire universe, and with sincerity, but also a touch of theatrics, I deliver my line. “You never convinced me. The moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you belonged in my corner.” Then, attempting to maintain a straight face, I add, “But I really just want to tune in to the livestream today.”

She puts her palm over her chest. “Touching, but no. Honestly, I’ve run out of excuses for why you’ve missed the last three Sundays. People are starting to worry about you, and it feels like lying to everyone who cares about you.”

“It’s not a lie. I really don’t feel well. My heart is hurting, and it has been for a month.”

“Don’t act so clever.” She swats my forearm. “The way I see it, Duke loves our church, and he’s here to stay. And he and Kate? They look serious. So whether you like it or not, you’re going to have to face them eventually.”

I wince. “That’s not the pep talk I was hoping for. Why do bad things happen to good people?” I grumble, “I did all the legwork. I met him first. I roped him into our church. I even got him interested in volunteering with the youth. And then he spots Kate and tosses me aside like a worn-out rag.”

“In his defense, he had no idea you had this huge crush on him,” Robyn points out, her logic cutting through my emotional haze. “And Kate was completely oblivious too. I bet if she knew, she wouldn’t have been batting her eyelashes at him. So, you can’t really blame either of them.”

“Okay Robs, whose side are you actually on?” I love Robyn so much, and I know she is usually right and always so logical. That’s how her brain works—everything is a solvable mathematical equation. But my heart operates on a completely different frequency.

“I’m on the side of getting you back to church. I don’t think a mere mortal should come between your relationship with Jesus.” Easy for her to say. She’s never had romantic feelings for anyone.

Mine and Duke’s encounter at Randy’s coffee shop a couple of months ago was straight out of a rom-com. We hit it off when our coffee orders got mixed up, then when I returned to my seat, he mustered the courage to ask if he could join me. With his dark brows, his perfectly styled hair, and even his choice of attire on a Saturday morning, he had me swooning.

I couldn’t resist talking to him, despite my initial intentions to focus on my work. That’s just who I am—I talk to people for a living—well, younger people. I found myself drawn to him, and he was so kind. He opened up about a nonprofit organization he was involved in, and in that moment, I had to thank the Lord for bringing such an incredible man into my life. It felt like a perfect meet-cute, and in my mind, we tied the knot when he mentioned that he had recently moved from Boston and was looking for a new church in Bedford.

Naturally, I did what any good Christian would do—I invited him to church. Of course, I wanted him to find a spiritual home, but deep down, I also hoped to see him there every Sunday. And when he finally joined us, he sat with Robyn and me in our favorite back row. I couldn’t contain my excitement.

The second Sunday, he chose to sit in the front row. And that’s where he definitely saw Kate, one of the singers on the worship team—a beautiful brunette with blue eyes and the most angelic voice. After church, I approached him, asked him to join us for Youth Night on Wednesday. There were again double motives at play, but who’s counting? Duke arrived, dressed in the most relaxed clothes I’d ever seen him wear—a polo and chinos.

I made the stupid mistake of introducing him to everyone, including Kate. The moment her eyes met his, I saw the same spark that ignited between us at the coffee shop. Ignoring my intuition, I proceeded to lead the Bible study for the youth with Robyn’s help and a few others. But despite my efforts, Kate and Duke became close. Every time they laughed together, it felt like a hot knife slicing through my heart. Their attraction to each other was undeniable, and there was no stopping it.

A few weeks ago, they announced their relationship on Youth Night, and I must commend myself for not collapsing right then and there because it felt like my entire world was crumbling. I had seen their relationship coming, but them making it official so soon caught me off guard. I wasn’t ready for it. So, I made the decision to avoid them at all costs. I can’t bear to see them all lovey-dovey together. I know my feelings are irrational, and I’ve been praying for the Lord to oust this jealousy from my heart, but so far, my prayers remain unanswered.

“If you don’t come for yourself, at least do it for me. You know how flustered I get when the deacons start prying into my dating life. I don’t have the heart to tell them that, at nearly thirty, I’m still not ready to settle down and start a family,” Robyn pleads, and I can’t help but laugh because it’s so true. The mere thought of marriage sends her running in the opposite direction. She’s fiercely committed to her career goals. She rejects anything and anyone that dares to distract her from her fast-track journey to VP of Finance.

“Ugh, you convinced me,” I concede, rolling out of bed and heading for the shower. “Let me get ready.”

I hear Robyn’s gentle knock on my door. “Hey, just wanted to let you know that we’re running a bit late. But it’s okay if you still need a minute.”

I chuckle appreciatively at her consideration. Despite her eagerness to get me back to church, she’s giving me the space I need to make the decision for myself. She’s probably afraid I’ll retreat back to bed and declare I’m not going. “I’m almost done,” I shout back to reassure her.

As I stand here, torn on what to wear, memories of when Duke first started attending church flood my mind. I always dressed in my Sunday best, hoping to catch his eye. Fit and flare dresses, colorful knee-length skirts paired with nice blouses, and heels to match his polished appearance became my new norm. But now, I want to dress for myself, not for him. I opt for neutral slacks and a cozy burnt-orange cardigan.

3

Pearl Davis

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