Page 44 of Dead End

“It was never the hair or makeup, October. Don’t you get that by now? God, I can’t believe you thought we actually meant any of that shit... You’re fucking gorgeous, no matter what color your hair is. And those dresses you wear, the stockings and boots and shit... Fuck.” His eyes were glossing over, so I nudged him, and he snapped out of it. “My point is, all the shit we put you through was calculated. We were trying to snap you out of the fog you were in. I knew we were assholes. I know we made your year hell, but it was on purpose. You were so far gone, it was the only way we could reach you.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. My heart was racing with the implications.

“None of the jabs were real. None of the names or insults were genuine. But every time we called you out or embarrassed you, it was like a little bit of the old October showed up, climbing out of the depression you were in, and we figured out that it was the only way we’d be able to see her again. We’ve been trying to snap you out of this for a year. It was painful to see you walk the halls but not really be there. You were just gone.”

I took a moment to let the words sink in, but it was like my brain refused to compute. Was he being serious right now? They were just fucking with me to... snap me out of my own grief? I mean, I guessed I could understand it in some screwed-up way, but holy shit.

“Are you messing with me right now?” I asked, needing to be sure. “Because if you are, this is a new low, even for you.”

Jason stood up from the bed, and for a second, I thought he was going to leave or say something snarky like he always did. Instead, he bent slightly, hooked his hands beneath my thighs, and pulled me towards the edge of the bed. I yelped and tried to brace my hands on the mattress, but I made no move to stop him.

He was between my thighs, and I was acutely aware of the fact that I didn’t have anything on under this shirt. His hands slid over my exposed skin, and chills sprouted all over. His eyes were molten as his gaze roved my face, settling at last on my lips.

“I’ve said a lot of dumbass shit this last year, and every single word was a lie. But I swear to you,” he lowered his face to mine slowly, “I’d never joke about something like this. I never stopped loving you, not once. There wasn’t a single day I didn’t hate myself for the things I said and did to you, but I needed you to come back. I needed you to snap out of it and show some fucking emotion.”

I had no words, but my eyes were on his lips now as his face came closer. I wanted nothing more than to kiss the shit out of him. It had been so long since I let myself imagine what it would be like to have him.

“Tell me you feel something right now,” he said in a whisper. “Tell me you want me to make you feel something, and I’ll do it. I swear to god, October, just tell me you’re back with me right here and now and—”

I met him the rest of the way, grasping the sides of his face to pull him in tighter. He groaned into my mouth and pushed me backwards, crawling on top of me with a sinful as hell gleam in his eyes. His hands were braced on the mattress on either side of my head as he devoured my lips. He tasted like spiced cider and chocolate and had my eyes practically rolling backwards. Touching him felt so good, I thought I might explode from the inside, and fire slid through my body as the pleasure consumed me.

I pulled his lips from mine and looked into his eyes as I said, “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know,” he whispered, peppering me with a few quick kisses. “And I never meant to hurt you, not really. I just wanted you back so badly. I never told you when I had the chance, but I’ve loved you since we were eight years old, and I’ve never stopped loving you since. I don’t care if you’re with the guys, too. We’ve all been obsessed with you since we first met but were too afraid to make a move. I don’t care as long as you know I never stopped for a fucking second.”

“I love you too, you asshole,” I giggled, biting my lip. “I’ve been obsessed with you since I knew what boys were. I wish I’d known sooner. I wish—”

“There’s no changing what happened. I wouldn’t even if I could. Something tells me we were meant to end up here, and I, for one,” tilting his head, he placed a gentle kiss on the side of my neck and said, "I really liking where this is going.” Another sensuous kiss lingered on my collarbone.

“Say it again...”

“I’m liking where—”

“Not that,” I said through a chuckle. “Say it again...”

A few more light kisses had me squirming as he smiled slowly against my throat. “I love you,” he whispered, and the chill those words gave me licked up my spine. I shivered. “I fucking love you,” he said again, just for good measure.

Now that the ice had been broken, I decided I’d never get tired of hearing those words. I’d wished for them for so long and fantasized about what it would be like to hear them from his lips.

He scooted us up my mattress with an arm around my waist, and I grasped onto his wide shoulders, fingers digging into his shirt. His mouth met mine again as his hands smoothed up my thighs. “Tell me you want this,” he said as his fingers went higher. “If you want me to stop, I will, but you have to tell me it’s okay. After what happened tonight...” He grew tense the moment he said it, as if he were reliving the moment they found me out on the street, crawling for my life.

“You know I do,” I said. “I—”

“That’s all I needed to hear,” he growled as the tips of his fingers reached my pussy, lightly sliding around my wet lips.

I must have made some kind of noise as he spread me open, but I didn’t know. My head tipped backwards, eyes rolling as his fingers grazed my swollen clit. My body was ready for anything he had in store, and my thighs parted even further. I was suddenly more thankful than ever that I slept without pants on.

My legs were shaking as he stroked me. His movements got faster, little by little, building up just the right amount of pressure to have me grinding against his fingers. I was trying to stay silent, knowing the others were just on the other side of my bedroom walls, not to mention the fact that my aunties were puttering somewhere around the house.

I felt one of his palms press down on my abdomen, holding my hips down as he made his way down my body until he was peppering soft little kisses up my inner thigh. I was breathing in short bursts now as his mouth got higher and closer to where I needed him most. I’d never had a guy go down on me before. Norman had been my first and only, so I was completely out of my league when it came to anything sexual. In the year that followed my parents’ deaths, sex hadn’t even been on my radar, save for the oddly lonely nights remembering the good days.

But right now, I had a need building inside me that was ready to explode. I ran my fingers through his dark hair, feeling the silky strands sliding between my knuckles as I gripped tight. His plump lips hit my pussy softly at first, and I sucked in a sharp breath. The sensation was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. It was incredibly soft, wet, and warm. It was comforting, yet it set me on edge, and I couldn’t help but rock my hips.

I felt his breath on me as he huffed a small, amused laugh, but he never stopped what he was doing with that wicked tongue of his. I would have screamed if he had. His tongue licked me in one swoop, flattening over my clit and pressing slightly until I felt a buzzing sensation roll over me. I felt hot and on edge, and I suddenly knew I was going to come hard if he didn’t stop. He must have known this because his palm pressed me to the mattress more firmly, and he began licking much faster with small, erratic flicks of his long tongue. He licked in shorter bursts that had me seeing stars.

My back arched off the mattress, and my fingers left his hair in favor of slapping over my own lips to suppress an embarrassingly loud moan. It was getting more and more difficult to keep quiet, and somehow I knew Jason was getting a kick out of it. My legs began to shake as he sucked on my clit, and I looked down in shock at the spike of overwhelming pleasure.

I froze when yellow-slit eyes met mine and a forked tongue lapped at my center in quick bursts. Panic flooded me, but the pleasure that went along with it made my hips undulate against the forked tongue. It was Damon staring back at me, and he smiled wickedly.

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