Page 57 of The Desire

And I’m missing that body!

So much so, that just like most nights I spend in my bed, I closed my eyes, sliding my hand over both my breasts and pussy while thinking back to him taking what he wanted from my body as he had me pinned down on his desk. I loved his strength and control over my body and then the tenderness and truth he shared with me afterward. He truly is a paradox of emotions, and I think that’s what pulls me to him.

Rem is nothing like the man I ever imagined I would be with. Not that I’m with him now, but that doesn’t take the want or need away from me to have him in my life more than as my boss and friend.

I want this man to totally consume me but be man enough to let me live my life as I choose to. I don’t want a man to tell me what to do, but it didn’t take much to learn that I want him to show me what I want in a man. I can see that Rem wants to protect with every bone in his body, it’s in his nature, and it’s not something he can turn off. And along with loyalty that he takes very seriously, this gives him strength to be who he is. But it also leaves a chink in his armor when he is conflicted on where to lay his loyalty.

Should it be to Blaise, and then who comes second? His friends, me, or the person who he sadly puts last, himself. He has forgotten that his own happiness is important too.

It’s like looking in the mirror for me as I’m thinking this, because I know it’s one of my worst traits that I put myself last. I’m a people pleaser. Always have been, and it’s why Tori and I work so well in our friendship. She comes up with some plan, and I carry it out to please her. I think you would find the same trait in most teachers in the world. We want to help and please people, it’s who we are.

A bump of turbulence has me grasping the arm on my seat as I look straight to Rem for reassurance. I haven’t told him how uncomfortable I am flying, but I think he has worked it out.

“Just breathe, it’s all good.” That calming tone is like liquid gold in my head.

“Mm-hm.” Looking back down at my Kindle, I reread the same sentence that I think I have read at least seven times and still haven’t moved past it.

It’s probably part of the problem, that I’m all up in my head thinking about Rem when I’m reading the line in the book that says, “Your body is so passionate and all I want is to worship you with every part of my soul, while I fuck you senseless,” and I want that too. With the man sitting across from me that is oblivious to how I can’t turn off the way my body responds to him.

I told him we couldn’t act on any feelings, that friendship is all that is possible. But to be honest, I wasn’t expecting him to listen.

Damn it, he also has respect as one of his important qualities.

I shouldn’t be thinking about this, I should be coming up with plans on how I am going to stay away from him for the next four days. It’s easy at home with Blaise around, but now I have to navigate this and stay true to my words. I saw what it did to him the night Flynn’s words rocked him. I don’t want to push him back to that point again.

One of the awesome things about a private jet is you have Wi-Fi. Dropping my Kindle to my lap, I search on my phone for things to do in Edinburgh. Oh, look, the Harry Potter train trip. It would be amazing to see that and be able to share it with my kids at school. It’s three hours away. Excellent, a day trip on my own so he can work. Ticked off one day, now to fill the rest.

Before I get to do much more searching, the captain announces we are heading in to land, and I need to switch off the Wi-Fi. Oh well, it’s back to trying to read this book. Or maybe I should save this scene for tonight when I can guarantee I will need relief, although it’s not been a problem lately to find my own inspiration.

I can tell Rem is in work mode, the way he is speaking to the crew on the plane, the driver that dropped off the car and castle keys to us at the airport, and even to me. It’s short, straight to the point, like I hear him on the phone in his office. He delivers instructions and expects them to be followed. They are clear and concise, and I can’t imagine what happens when people don’t listen. I giggle a little on the inside because truth be known, I’ve already seen what happens when I push him. But I’m sure that’s a different story.

As the noise of the car’s turn signal echoes through the silence inside the car, I gasp at the sight before me.

“Oh, Rem.” We drive between big stone pillars. The beautiful large wrought-iron gates look like they have been here for hundreds of years, and the excitement has my body tingling so much I just can’t contain it.

Without hesitation, I grasp his forearm in the driver’s seat next to me in the car.

Finally, for the first time in days, he laughs lightly at me. I’m the woman whose face is almost plastered to the window, taking in everything around me. It’s like the dreams I had as a little girl. Being a princess, living in a castle, having the most handsome prince by my side, and living the most magical life. I doubt boys have the same dream growing up, but then I’ve never asked.

“Did you ever dream of living in a castle as a prince when you grew up?” I quickly look across at him for his reaction.

“I wouldn’t fit the role of a prince. I’d be more the knight in shining armor protecting the castle or the hunter providing the food.” He smiles at the little girl I’m sure he can see inside me that is about to live out her fantasy for the next few days.

“Oh, I can so see you as all three in one person. The protector, the provider, and the seducer.” I smack myself on the forehead metaphorically inside my head because that wasn’t something I meant to say out loud.

I’m about to pull my hand off his arm where I latched onto him in surprise, but instead, I instantly grasp harder as we come out of the tree-lined driveway and the castle appears in all its glory in front of my eyes.

The old gray stone is so tastefully weathered, and you can see how well it has withstood time. The main part of the castle is taller, standing three stories high, giving that majestic feel, with the four circular towers standing tall on each corner of the building. The rest of the castle is two stories high, making it look like such a prestigious home. The tall trees towering over the castle look incredible and frame the building perfectly.

Tori has told me a little about its history and that the current owners started a restoration project twenty years ago but ran out of money. They have both since passed away, and the children don’t want anything to do with it, being a money pit, and are keen to get it sold so they don’t have to manage it. The part of the building that is livable they were leasing out for short stays, and the rest is closed off, just sadly deteriorating. Nic has organized with the owners to be able to access the whole castle so Rem can see what condition it’s in and make his recommendations back to Nic.

This will be their most difficult and expensive acquisition since Nic took over the family business, but he is so adamant he wants this castle to add to the huge property portfolio he already owns. Must be nice to have the wealth to see something and decide you want it. I know there is more to it than that, but still, who gets to buy a castle!

The car comes to a stop in front of the entrance, and all I can do once I’m out of the car is stand and look up in awe at what is before me. I know Rem is moving around me, but I can’t look away. I’m thinking of all the people over the centuries that have stood here in the same place and been so intrigued about what is behind these ancient stone walls. I need to know more about this place.

The hand on the arch in my back sends a rush of feelings through me that has the hairs on my body standing up. Rem touching me in this moment has me jolting out of my thoughts. There is something about a man’s hand on that part of your back that is so sensual. I don’t know why, but it is. It’s not like it’s a sexual place but more than that.

The sensation of “I’ve got you” or showing the rest of the world, “this woman is mine and off limits.” Either way, they are both things that I can’t be thinking that Rem means when he touches me like this.

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