Page 37 of The Desire

Stopping just inside the door, I can feel the hairs on my body start twitching at the number of people and the noise. I know I love action-packed activities, but this is different. Not that there is any threat to either Blaise or Elouise, I just don’t like being places where I have no control over what is going on around me. I take calculated risks, but to me this is just one big mosh pit of people and racks of clothes.

As Elouise starts to venture into the mosh pit with a shopping cart, I can feel Blaise edging closer to my leg, and it occurs to me that from his height all he can see is a lot of legs, shopping bags, and people’s backsides or crotches. Instantly I lean down and lift him up into my arms. I can feel the nervousness in him as his body is rigid.

I know he can’t understand me, but still, I offer my words of reassurance.

“You’re okay, little man. I’ve got you.” Maybe it’s just the tone I’m using, but it’s working as he settles a little more relaxed into me and starts to look around to see what is going on.

Things like this will get easier for him, but today, it’s overwhelming.

“You’ve got ten minutes, Elouise. Blaise doesn’t like it.” Walking up behind her, she doesn’t even flinch or acknowledge me.

Still flicking through the racks of boy’s clothes, she pulls things out and lays them over the side of the cart.

Fuck this, she can look for clothes, I’m taking him somewhere that looks like more fun.

I walk out of the aisle and toward the sign that’s hanging from the ceiling, crooked, but obviously no one around here cares.

Toys.

If us boys have to suffer shopping, we both need a reward.

“Okay, little man, let’s find something that takes away the pain of this place.” Pointing to things, I watch Blaise’s reactions, trying to work out what interests him. “What sort of toys do little boys like? You know I’m new to this. You need to help me.” I head into the section where there is a train set, and on the other side of the aisle are farm sets. His little feet start to kick back and forth, letting me know he wants out of my arms.

Crouching down and resting him on the ground, he reaches out for the farm set. A barn with what looks like a variety of animals, cow, horse, chicken, and goat. Of course, he’d be drawn to something that reminds him of home.

“You like that?” His face lit up like a Christmas tree tells me the answer.

“What an adorable little boy you have.” A super-sweet, almost too sweet voice comes from behind me as I turn to see a woman with a shopping basket hooked over her arm. She’s wearing tight jeans with black knee-length boots over top. A tight black shirt tucked into her jeans, with her breasts spilling out the top of it and fake blonde hair that is pulled up in a messy bun. Bright red lipstick and way too much makeup for a trip to the department store.

“Thank you,” I reply bluntly and turn back to Blaise who is my main focus.

“How old is he? Let me guess, five. He looks big and strong. I’m good with kids, they seem to gravitate to me.” Her voice is already grating on me, and I just want to walk away, but my mother taught me manners.

I don’t trust easily, so when a stranger shows interest in my son, there is no way she is getting one piece of information about him.

“That’s nice,” is all I reply as I stand and try to look over the top of the shelves to see where Elouise is. Still digging around in the clothes racks and completely oblivious to the fact that I need her.

“It’s so lovely you are shopping with your son. Where is his mother?”

I shouldn’t have answered like I did, but I was hoping it would shut her up. “She’s dead.” The aggressive tone I used didn’t even make her bat an eyelid.

“Oh, I’m sorry, so you are a single parent like me? It can be so hard and lonely. Maybe we should exchange details and we can meet up to chat about it.” Who the hell is this woman and where the hell did she come from? Do I have sucker written on my forehead or am I giving off some rich bachelor vibes?

Looks like I need to get myself out of this, because if the dead comment didn’t give her the hint, then nothing will.

Right, let’s just get the farm and get out of here.

I try to take Blaise’s hand, but instead of clinging to me like he was less than ten minutes ago, he drops to his knees to look at more toys on the bottom shelf, pulling another farm off the shelf that looks different to the first one he picked up. Of course, he starts wrapping his arms around this box too. I’m trying not to make a fuss, and I can hear this woman still talking next to me, but I’ve blocked out what she is saying.

Not wanting her to hear me say his name and getting frustrated because I know that no matter what I say, he won’t understand me anyway, I don’t know how I’m going to get him up without just pulling strongly on his arm.

Crouching back down, I grab the box out of his arms, pick up the other farm that he picked first, and also grab the third farm that he hasn’t even seen yet. The look on his face is one of confusion, but as he starts to stand up, my spare hand clasps down onto his shoulder and I start steering him out of the aisle in the direction I last saw Elouise. I can still hear the voice behind me of the damn woman who obviously thinks, for God knows what reason, that I want to talk to her. She is following me, and I can’t seem to get Blaise’s little legs to move quick enough.

Finally, Elouise comes into view and looks up from the mountain of clothes she has in her cart, and her facial expression looks confused.

“Rem, what’s wrong?” As I get closer, Blaise starts talking to her in French, and I don’t have time to explain, so I do the only thing that makes sense to me.

“Let’s go, you have plenty, we’ll just buy them all,” I bark at her and just march past her and grab the cart from her on our way to the cash register.

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