Page 15 of The Desire

“How would you know I wasn’t telling you that you had the smallest cock I’d ever seen and that you were shit in bed.” Smiling at him, I take a few steps away out of his reach.

“We both know you can’t lie, and we both know that neither of those are true. My big cock fucking rocked your world, and you can’t deny that.”

“Keep dreaming. Now, where is the food? I’m starving.” I look around the kitchen for what the boys left for us.

“Yeah, me too… starving.” His deep tone is one I know, and I need to ignore it.

Don’t look, focus on the food.

As much as I’ve wanted to be back in his arms since that first night, I know I can’t do that tonight. In my head, I’m telling myself to push all those thoughts away.

Because no one wants to be the comfort fuck.

I’m better than that, and if Rem was thinking clearer, he would never treat me like that either.

Time to eat and then get into bed… alone.

That’s my plan, food and sleep.

Stick to the plan.

Chapter Three

ELOUISE

“Oh my God, this is the best pizza I’ve had in a long time. It’s the different combination of toppings. I’ve never had pumpkin, spinach, feta, and sundried tomatoes before, but man, it’s good.” I’m so full, and Rem has hardly eaten anything. Well, by his standards anyway.

I’ve been trying to fill the silence and talking between mouthfuls, just useless information and stories about my week at school. I even resorted to the first-date style questions—tell me about your family, what music do you like etc.

He answered, but they weren’t long answers. I offered him a drink to calm his nerves and to help him sleep, but he declined, telling me he wanted to be alert in case he was needed. And he doesn’t think he would make a good father. This guy is so protective of anyone in his circle that poor Blaise will be complaining as a teenager that he can’t move a muscle in any direction without Rem knowing.

I know we don’t know yet, but in my mind, I’m already convinced they are father and son.

Exhausted from the night’s turmoil, I’ve packed away all the garbage and cleaned up from earlier, while Rem sat staring out into nowhere.

“I think it’s time for us to go to bed.” And as soon as the words are out of my mouth, his reaction is instant, standing and moving toward me.

Before I can move or say another word, his hands are taking mine. “Together, let’s go to bed together.” He leans forward to kiss me, but I turn my head to the side before he has a chance to catch my lips and instead lands on my cheek.

“That’s not a good idea, Rem.” Pulling back, we look intensely at each other.

“I disagree. I think it will help us both sleep.” His voice is all rugged but not like that voice I remember when he was inside me. He has the deepest sex voice I’ve ever heard, full of lust when we were in that moment, but this is nothing like that. He is almost begging, just like I was to him that night he made my wish come true.

“You will regret it tomorrow.” In my head, I know I will too.

“You’re wrong.” He sounds frustrated.

“I can’t be your quick fuck to drown the anxiety you’re feeling.” My words cut him deep.

“I would never use you like that.” His words are like a knife because he can’t see that he just did.

“Then listen to me and go to bed alone. That’s what you need more than you need me.” I pull my hands from his grasp and turn to walk away.

“Fucking women, they always think they know what’s best,” he calls after me.

“Because we usually do. Good night, Remington.” I walk quickly down the hallway and up the stairs, knowing I need to put as much distance between us as possible before I do something more stupid than Christmas night. If I give in to him, I will end up hating us both for the pain I will feel tomorrow when we slip back into that friend zone that I already know is an awful place to be.

Closing the door to the bedroom I’m staying in and sitting on the big bed, it reminds me of how different our lives are. The whole bottom floor of my house could fit in this one room.

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