Page 99 of The Desire

Epilogue

2 Months Later

ELOUISE

“I’m in the office, El.” Hearing Rem’s voice is always a comfort when I arrive home in the middle of the day on Blaise’s preschool day. It’s like we get to be adults, dating without being parents of a now five-year-old little boy, after he celebrated his birthday last month.

Blaise was so excited with the little party we had for him with a few of his new preschool friends, and of course all the adults who treat him as part of their family.

After the air was cleared with Dr. Keats, things were completely normal again when we saw him for Blaise’s five-year-old checkup. We were both relieved to know that the heart murmur was getting better and was barely there at all now. Drew expects that he will have outgrown it in the next year, fingers crossed.

I’ve just left my doctor’s appointment that I had finally booked after my fainting spell quite a few weeks ago, but I kept putting off seeing the doctor because I felt fine, and life just became so busy. But Rem and Tori kept bugging me, and in the end, Rem booked the appointment for me.

After the night of the charity dinner, my secret fascination with child psychology quickly became a passion the moment I met Cherie. I couldn’t stop talking to her and learning all she could teach me about how the mind works and not just what’s in the textbooks. This woman has real-world experience that is so much more valuable to me. It didn’t take long before Rem was encouraging me to investigate studying to be a psychologist and gaining my qualifications, specializing in working with children. I didn’t realize how much I really wanted to do this until the opportunity was put in front of me. I can still look after Blaise and study during the day, especially when he starts school next year and my days will be free.

I loved my job as a teacher, but I think I can do more for children who are in need of special care and whose families can’t afford it. The day I resigned from my job, I cried tears of sadness for the end of a part of my life that brought me so much joy. But it didn’t last long, when that night lying in bed with Rem, after he’d made sweet passionate love to me, he asked me if I would be the joint CEO of a charity he was setting up with Cherie. They want to expand her gym catering for youth and adults, setting it up in other cities across the UK. My job would be to run the business side with Rem, and once I’m trained and qualified, I’ll jump into the counselling side with Cherie and concentrate on helping the kids when boxing isn’t their thing. We can find another activity that is physical that also has the brain distracted while we work on their mental health.

It's still in the very early stages, but Nic has already given Rem a million pounds to help get it off the ground. It was an emotional day out at the farm the day he told Rem he wanted to be involved. Now that we are in the new era of our friend group, where big secrets are not allowed between any of us, Nic and Tori decided it was time to share that they anonymously organize a large charity called the ARD Foundation, which Nic took over running from his grandfather. It was set up in memory of his father and grandmother, and he said looking back, he could have benefited from something like what we are doing to help him deal with his misplaced anger at his father, so he decided he wanted to share part of that money with our new venture. It’s extremely generous, and Rem couldn’t speak for a few minutes, trying to take it all in.

So many changes are happening, and I’m just not sure how I’ll keep up with it all.

I walk straight over to Rem in his chair that he pushed back from his desk as soon as he saw me come through the door.

He loves to have me in his lap, and if I’m honest, I enjoy being snuggled there too.

Kissing me long and lovingly, he finally lets me go and looks at me with care. “Everything go okay with the appointment?”

And that’s the big question, isn’t it.

Did it all go okay? The answer would be yes. Was it what I expected? That is a yes-and-no answer, just as confusing.

“El, are you okay? Why are you quiet?” Shifting in his chair, he sits us up straighter.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, no need to worry. But let’s just say the visit didn’t quite go as planned.”

“Are you sick, what is it? Tell me!”

“You know how you told me you could handle a messy life with me?”

“Every day and twice on Sundays, but what has that got to do with anything?” I could see the wheels in his brain turning and piecing things together. “Oh shit, how messy are we talking here?” Rem’s face gets a little paler.

“Like the patter of another set of tiny feet kind of messy.” I finally let the happy tears start to fall that I have been holding in since the shock in the doctor’s office.

Rem’s head falls back onto his chair as he tries to take it all in, and then he quickly pulls back and looks at me.

“But we were always careful… Oh shit, that night at the dinner in that damn red dress. I was so desperate to have you that we didn’t use protection. Fuck, we slipped up a few times, but it was the dress that did it, wasn’t it?” He slaps his forehead with his hand, and I’m trying not to laugh at him. “You make me so reckless. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Aren’t you happy?” Panic quickly starts to fill my stomach.

“No, that’s not it at all. I’m just sorry I took away your choice of the timing of a baby.” His hand is on my cheek, and I can’t help leaning into it, finding the warmth his touch always brings to me.

“The universe has a habit of choosing things for us, so why would now be any different?” My giggle is now mixing with my tears.

“A baby.” His voice is so soft and gentle. “We’re having a baby. I couldn’t be happier.” Rem takes a few breaths while still processing our news. “I love you so much I don’t know what to do with it all some days, and you have just given me the answer. Another person for me to share my heart with. Oh, El, please tell me these are happy tears.” He uses his sleeve to wipe my face which is just a waste of time.

“Of course they are. And if you keep saying soppy things like that then there is going to be a waterfall of tears shortly. Welcome to pregnancy hormones. We might not have planned this little one, but I’m just so in love already. I knew I always wanted kids, and from the moment I met you, I knew I wanted them with you. I thought we would have more time, but what does it matter? We are already parents anyway, so what’s one more to add to the family? A little girl maybe, with your gorgeous brown curls.”

“And your big brown eyes and loving heart.” He pulls me into a hug with my head now snuggled into his shoulder where I feel like I’m home.

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