Page 50 of The Desire

“We have gotten off track here.” I need to get us back on track because we can’t walk out of this room tonight without finally putting this to bed. Well, let’s not talk about the two of us and a bed, but instead, sorting out how we are going to get through this.

“Your fault with all your wolf pack knowledge.” I can feel his body tensing a little under me, and I know neither of us want to talk about this, but it’s time.

“Yes, well, now I’m bringing up the hard things. It’s obvious we have a thing for each other, and we have both agreed we can’t pursue it. What just happened on the desk can’t happen again.”

“Right, so next time we can try the kitchen counter?” he mumbles to himself.

“Rem, be serious.” I slap my hand on his chest right above his heart by accident, and his big hand quickly lands on top of it, pressing my hand even tighter against his heart. He’s not saying anything but just looking at me and speaking to me without words to tell me how torn he is.

“One year…” The way he is looking at me has me frozen, and I feel like I can’t breathe. “Can we put it on hold for one year? See where both our lives are then. You won’t be working for me anymore.”

I wish that was our only problem, but there is a small glimmer of hope in his words.

Taking in what he’s saying, I just don’t think he has really thought about this. “It won’t work, Rem. Remember what you told me.” As much as it hurts, I have to protect my heart. “You don’t do relationships.”

The look of disappointment registers on his face, and a small whisper escapes him that makes me want to cry for both of us. “But you’re the first woman in a long time who has made me think about trying again.”

Oh, Rem, what happened in your life, why are you so closed off? I wish I could dig deeper but that will only pull us further down into the vortex that we are both trying to fight from falling into.

I just let us both sit in that moment of silence until he could get through the feelings that he is battling against.

Sitting up straighter and readjusting me on his lap, I can tell the walls are back up, and he is about to say what he needs to and then shut this off.

“No restrictions, we live our lives, but in a year’s time, if we are both still single, will you agree to let me take you on a date? Start this properly. Out in the open, to hell with all the reasons not to.” Rem is serious, and the look of hope for my answer has me unable to say no to him like I probably should.

Instead, the only answer I can give him is one that I have lived my adult life by.

“If it’s meant to be, it will happen.” I pull my hand out from under his on his chest. I need to move away from him. Attempting to stand up, sadly this time he lets me.

“Oh, it’s meant to be, my little vixen, because no woman has ever made me come so freaking hard in my life. And I don’t intend to miss out on feeling that again.”

“Rem, stop it! Boundaries, we need them.” I cross my arms to let him know I’m serious.

“Okay, list them, but I get to veto the ones I don’t like.” He lays his arms along the back of the couch like he has all the control, and the reality is that he probably does.

Then I start listing them off the top of my head. “No sex! In any form.” Why is he smiling at me?

“No kissing.”

“Mm-hm,” is all he replies while I continue.

“No flirting, because you are an expert at it.”

He pretends to gasp and holds his chest like he is saying “who me?”

“You let me do my job and don’t give me any special treatment.”

“What makes you think I would?” The smirk on his face tells me he knows full well that the two hundred thousand pounds that is now sitting in my bank account blows that answer out of the water.

“I’m not even bothering to answer that. And you will get on with your job and working out how to fit Blaise into your work/life balance.”

“Easy.” Rem is so smug with these answers.

“Always put Blaise first, before me and before yourself.”

“A given.” Not that I’m sure he understands what that really means yet.

“Treat me like your friend, and let’s get to know each other, no expectations, just two housemates who are friends. I repeat, friends, do you hear that? Repeat after me.”

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