Page 39 of The Desire

“Tapping out here, not getting in the middle of this argument.”

“Only because you know I’m right,” Nic’s voice booms through the speakers on my phone.

“Good night, my friends, enjoy the fight and what comes after that,” I say, knowing that these two fight then fuck. They can’t deny it, we’ve all been witness to the yelling, and then that look Nic gives her, and we all clear the room. I’m not as volatile as Tori, but God, I wish I had a guy that looked at me like he wants to pin me up against the wall right in that moment because he can’t wait.

“Well, it better be me that comes after.” Tori’s smile and answer just confirms my thoughts. These two are ridiculously in love, and she can’t hide that. It’s written all over her face as we end the call.

I need to stop thinking about Nic and Tori because nobody wants to be visualizing their best friend having sex. Ugh, my life sucks if that’s the closest I’m getting to sex these days.

Checking in on Blaise as I walk quietly past his room, I slowly make my way down the stairs when I hear Rem singing to himself over top of the noise of him making dinner.

Holy shit! This man can sing. Like, really sing. Not just an okay karaoke-grade voice but the smooth tones of a sensual ballad. Oh, that’s just not fair. I don’t need another reason to be fixating on this man. Standing just back from the door so he can’t see me, I let it wash over me, and it vibrates all the way into my loins and does things I have been desperately trying to turn off in my body.

Wrapping my arms around my body and closing my eyes, I picture dancing with Rem while his voice wraps around me, seducing me and doing things to my body that I have dreamed about for a long time. Like the way he could make me feel sexy and wanted just the way I am. I want it all, the romance of the moment, him showing the world that someone like me could be loved by someone like him. But that’s not all I want, I have never said it out loud, but I want more. Hot, steamy seduction to the point I’m begging for things I don’t even know exist yet, and then giving in to be completely dominated by this man. His power is something that I want to experience in all the best ways. I honestly didn’t know that desire was deep inside me until I got a taste of it with Rem. He is the only man I would ever trust to do those kinds of things to me. I grew up conservative and have never strayed too far from the edge, including my sex life, but with Rem, I want to jump off the edge of the highest cliff and let him make me scream… very, very loudly.

I don’t realize that the feel of his hands in my fantasy, moving up and down my body, are mine in reality as I snap my eyes open to the sound of Rem calling out to me.

“You don’t have to stand out there to listen.” His voice breaks from the song just long enough to call me out for being a weirdo and hiding in the hallway. If only he knew I was feeling myself up while his words were like sex on his lips. I take a quick deep breath to stop me from looking like I was panting and hope like hell I’m not flushed, but I doubt it.

His voice then continues with the song that is playing in through the speakers in the kitchen. One thing about this house, it looks like it’s old, but it has every bit of modern technology integrated into it.

I feel stupid, but I might as well just own it, now that he knows I’m here.

“Well, aren’t you full of hidden surprises?” I tease, taking my place on the stool at the kitchen counter. I watch him from behind, dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants and a tight, white t-shirt that is hugging his arm muscles just perfectly. What is it with guys and the gray sweatpants? I mean, seriously, they know the way we react to them. If he is trying to keep me in the friend zone, those sweatpants should be banned in this house. My brain almost slaps itself for thinking such a stupid thing. Of course, I still want Rem wearing them. If I can’t touch it, at least I can look at it and dream of what might have been.

That’s until he turns around, and yep, the gray sweatpants can definitely stay.

“Not really. I like to sing when I cook, it’s relaxing.” He leans against the counter next to the stove while something is frying away in a pot.

“Oh yeah, I like to sing in the shower, while I do housework, but that doesn’t mean it’s worthy of anyone else listening. Whereas you, my friend, could be on stage with that voice.” I’m not just saying it to make him feel good, it’s the truth.

“No, not my thing. Don’t like to stand out. I’m happy just to blend in. It’s why I love my job so much. I’m not the face of the business, just the one behind the scenes doing everything needed, but nobody really knows who I am.” Rem turns back to the stove, attending to whatever he is cooking which smells divine.

“Well, I’ll happily listen to you cook every night if it comes with a serenade. But I didn’t take you to be a Michael Bublé fan. ‘Always on my Mind’ is one of my mum’s favorite songs, but I haven’t heard him sing it. Her version is some old country star.” I watch him smile at me, totally gobsmacked at his little secret. “But can I just say, holy shit, you are almost as good as him singing that song.”

“Far from it,” he quietly replies, not liking the attention on him. For the first time ever, I see the tiniest bit of vulnerability wash over Rem’s face, only lasting a split second before he laughs it off, and I know the moment is gone, and I don’t want to embarrass him any further.

Not wanting him to feel awkward, I quickly jump up off my stool. “Can I do anything to help?” My body is full of nervous energy which seems to happen whenever I’m around Rem and it’s just the two of us. I need to be moving rather than sitting here.

“You can grab the cutlery and glasses for us. Thanks, that would be great. Dinner isn’t anything flash, just a quick pesto chicken pasta, and there is a bottle of white wine chilling in the fridge.”

Rem might think it’s just a quick dinner, but any meal that someone else cooks for you is as good as being taken out for dinner. Not having to do the preparation yourself and just having it placed in front of you is always so nice. Besides, just the smell of it is making me salivate and realize how hungry I actually am.

I spread everything on the counter and pour the wine as Rem places a plate in front of me. We both relax into our seats and start eating. As much as today was stressful for Rem in a funny way, it has been a definite turning point for us both.

The rest of the night we just chatted about nothing really. Finding out about each other’s families, lives before the upheaval of this week, and before we knew it, we had been talking and laughing until past midnight.

“Oh God, I need to get to bed. Blaise will be up before I know it, and I want to spend some time with him one on one tomorrow, starting on some basic English words.” Standing from where we are still sitting at the kitchen counter, Rem reaches out and tenderly grabs my wrist before I can move too far. The look in his eyes isn’t what I wish it would be. I know it’s all in my head and only one-sided, so I’m ignoring the feeling of sexual tension between us that is zinging up my arm from his touch.

“Thanks, El, I really enjoyed dinner and just getting to know you. It’s been rocky, but I couldn’t do this without you. I want you to know I appreciate you being here. I’m used to living on my own, so to sit and enjoy a meal and some laughs at the end of the day was nice.” Why can he be a total asshole one minute and make my heart melt the next?

“Thank you, I totally get it. I enjoyed the company too, and the food was yummy, thank you for cooking. My turn tomorrow night.”

Rem releases my wrist and stands too. He looks as tired as I feel.

“About tomorrow… I know I said I would be on leave for a while, but Flynn’s little sex tape has given me a problem that needs to get solved quickly. If you’re okay with it, I’d really like to head into the office in the morning. Hopefully not all day but just to get a handle on it, and to wrap my hands around his throat for being so freaking stupid.” The way Rem rolls his eyes at me has me giggling a little.

“Of course. I’ll be fine, and we both need to find our feet in this new role, so tomorrow sounds like as good a day as any. Will I see you in the morning before you leave?” I don’t know why I even asked that, but eating a meal with Rem is starting to become one of my favorite pastimes.

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