Page 87 of Tongue-Tied

He laughs. “We’re not—unless we see each other out and you two are around.”

“Seriously?” I think back to karaoke night and seeing them whispering about something. Probably comparing notes. “You’ve been doing this behind the scenes without us knowing?”

“Sort of. It’s hard to resist.”

I shake my head and smirk. “Except, Austin might not even suspect how I feel. From what I’ve seen, our practice sessions have done the trick. He’s more confident talking to men and going on dates. I don’t want to take that away from him.”

Kael rolls his eyes. “Austin is crazy about you.”

My breath hitches. “He told you that?”

“Not in so many words, but it’s obvious to everyone except you two dopes.”

“Then why haven’t I gotten that vibe from him?”

He folds his arms and gives me a pointed look. “Could it be because you always say you’re not dating material?”

“Fuck, you’re right.” I briefly screw my eyes shut. “Been saying it for so long, these feelings sneaked up on me.”

“Then I guess we need to infuse some confidence in you.”

“I’m confident. Except when it comes to this sort of stuff.”

“Then maybe it’s time for you to tell Austin how you feel.”

My stomach drops as fear creeps in. “But what if I’m wrong?”

“Isn’t that what life’s all about? Taking risks to go after what you want? And if it doesn’t work out in your favor, you learn from those experiences, right?”

I study Kael. I’ve never really appreciated all he must’ve been through. Maybe he’ll consider me a close enough friend someday to share his journey with me.

“I mean, take it from me,” Kael says. “I was terrified nobody would accept me for who I am. I still get scared, but I push forward.”

“You’re one of the bravest people I know.”

He offers me a sad smile. “Fake it until you make it, right?”

Before bed, I consider what Kael said about letting my true feelings show. I think about my mom and some of our harsher conversations and begin seeing her from a new perspective. Maybe each time a potential life partner crosses her path, she hopes against hope he’ll be the one. She’s a romantic at heart, but that optimism clouds her choices. In the end, she just wants to be happy and have someone love her for who she is, and isn’t that what life is all about?

Austin points out how attentive and thoughtful I am on our dates, and maybe that’s true. At least when it comes to him. He’s the only person I’ve ever put any effort toward, but it isn’t a hardship. I just care about him and always have.

The next morning, I’m showered and dressed early from sheer nervous energy.

“Where are you off to?” Milo asks from his bed.

“Have you ever heard of the grand gesture?”

He stifles a yawn. “Like in romance movies?”

“And in real life?” Fuck, maybe my idea isn’t such a good one.

“Uh-huh. I tried it once, toward the end, with Lisa.”

I sit on the edge of my bed. “Did it work?”

“Sadly, no. She wanted us to take a break.” He frowns. “That’s a story for another day. But if I know who this grand-gesture idea is for, then I’m fully behind it. You need to put yourself out there.”

I grab my stomach. “Oh God, I’m gonna barf.”

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