Page 42 of Ten Hammers

Does his shirt need to be in the way? No. His hands rove over my body and I decide that my shirt doesn’t need to be in the way either–

Do you really think he wants to see that blubber, baby beluga?

And just like that, I come crashing back down. It’s like cold water thrown on me all of a sudden, and I pull away.

“You okay, Pooh Bear?”

“Oh my God.” I’m gasping as I untangle myself from him and take a few steps backwards as it hits me my dad’s voice, Gram’s voice, the ghosts that haunt me… they’re not in that damn house. They’re inside me. I’ll never escape them.

What the hell am I doing?

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” I say to Gavin. He calls after me as I turn and run, but I don’t stop. I don’t stop as his voice gets closer. I don’t stop when his footsteps echo behind mine. I only stop when he catches up to me and pulls me back into his arms, when I’m sobbing against his chest.

It all comes pouring out as he strokes my back.

“I’m so damn conflicted,” I admit into his chest, the fabric of his shirt clutched in my fingers. “I want you,” I sob. “I want you all, but–”

“No buts, Pooh Bear,” he whispers into my hair. “You’re allowed to want everything you want.”

“But–”

“No buts,” he kisses me on the forehead. “You’re allowed to have everything you want.”

“But I literally told you all we can only be friends. I ended my friends with benefits thing with Max. I don’t want to hurt any of you. I don’t want any of you to hurt me. But I want you. But I can’t keep changing my mind. I can’t…”

I trail off and take a breath and inhale the intoxicating and familiar scent of him. “It’s like my worst nightmares,” I gesture back at Gram’s, “and my wildest, best fantasies are both coming true at the same time and I don’t know what to do!”

“Hey,” he says firmly. “You can do whatever you need to do. Except run from us. I’m not going to let you do that.”

Chapter 15

Gunnar

I don’t have many regrets in my life - there’s no point to regret, you know. Just gotta learn from your mistakes and move on.

But barely twenty-four hours after that scorching hot kiss-a-thon with Winnie – the one I didn’t get in on before she pulled a runner – and I’m desperately regretting not kicking Jack aside and being the first to shoot my shot. Or Diesel. Second in on the love train would have been great. Or third, even. I would have been thrilled to knock Gav on his ass and take her in my arms and kiss her instead of my twin.

I’m trying not to be bitter, but I haven’t even had my chance to kiss Winnie yet, and one of my rat bastard brothers spent half the night fucking her.

And now I’m feeling actual pain as I think of my missed chance, and my betrayer of a brother. Song lyrics keep rolling through my wounded soul and head.

Win - the one I dream of / Win - the one I need / Yet he’s the one who holds her / Now my heart bleeds

Fine, bad song lyrics. Very bad song lyrics.

I don’t actually know which of my brothers was keeping her bed springs squeaking, but they made damn sure she stayed satisfied.

See, my room shares a wall with Winnie’s, and even with a pillow over my ears, I could hear her sexy-as-fuck little whimpery moans of ecstasy as she came.

I couldn’t hear him at all, though, which annoys me to no end. A blessing and a curse. How can I punch that dickhead traitor in their traitorous dick, if I don’t know which of my brothers committed the crime?

I had been betting it was Max. So much for “just friends,” right? But then, I swear I heard her moan Axel’s name.

I wanted to bust in and punch that bastard in the face, naturally. Her fucking bed wouldn’t stop squeaking.

But just as I was getting all worked up to holler at Axel to shut the fuck up in there, I swear I hear her panting out my name, and I decided must be fucking delusional and hearing things. I’m not sure. After her fifth orgasm, I moved downstairs to the couch where I tossed and turned for a number of reasons.

His kiss on her lips / A knife in my chest / Promises broken / My dick left bereft….

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