Page 59 of Quiet Confessions: Part Two

I want to be able to live my life in peace. I want to be able to have a healthy relationship with the men that I love. I don’t want to fucking choose. I’m done.

“I think it’s time that we take this empire down for good. What’s to stop them from coming after me and Rooke again? What makes Nate and Ki safe?” I ask, beginning to pace.

“Rabbit, calm down—”

“No!” I yell, throwing up my arms. “I’ve been wading through this shit for weeks. I still feel like it’s surreal that Rooke and I made it home. What if you guys hadn’t gotten there in time? What if they–”

I gag as I think about how we could have become meat for Earl’s family meals. Nope, don’t think about it. Just keep moving. It’s not healthy, but it’s what I have to do.

“I refuse to lose anyone, and I’m tired of living half a life. I can’t even hold Kian’s hand in public!” I’m hysterical, but I can’t stop as tears start to fall down my face. “When does it end? When do we get to start living?”

“There’s enough to blackmail her into telling us everything,” Rooke says, looking up. His eyes are wide and concerned, but he doesn’t make a move to stop my pacing. Sometimes you just have to lose your shit.

“Let’s make arrangements to talk to her. This has to end. I refuse to live like this anymore. I’ll marry Cal because of the contract,” I confirm with a heavy sigh. “I already told him that I want a private ceremony to marry all of you. It may not be legal, but it’s what I want. I’m not choosing, and I refuse to let society make me choose. If you’re not strong enough to stand with me, then I need to know.”

My eyes land on Ki and Cal as I say that, and they both flinch.

“I’ll see everyone in the morning. I don’t want company.”

Walking to my room, I dash the tears away. I can hear them talking, but I can’t handle it. I know I may have hurt Cal and Ki with my words, but they need to understand where I stand. I won’t choose—I can’t—but I don’t want them to hang around unless they can handle me being with them all.

As I slam the door closed, I scream, just to remind myself that I’m alive.

KIAN

Last night was a fucking shit show. Not only did I have to deal with my dad’s bullshit, but the revelations about Sharon and Nixen as well. Just another bomb I have to diffuse.

Patience lost her shit at all of the obstacles that we’re having to deal with, and I don’t think she was being overdramatic in the least.

A lesser person would have already broken. Pay has been so damn strong, even though she’s been struggling. It’s easier for her to handle her own load and emotions than when the people that she loves are hurting.

Nate and Cal had yet another of Nixen’s affairs thrown in their faces, and it looks like it’s been going on for a while. The lab fire killed Pay’s dad and the guys’ mother, but it makes everything hurt more that Nixen had been fucking around while their mom was still alive.

There’s always something new we’re finding out as we dig deeper into the past. Richard James has a lot of skeletons in his closet, but he’s smart. The man kills those closest to him that may spill his tea to the world, like his assistant that wanted to meet with Patience.

No one is safe from his ire. It honestly makes me worried that he’ll off my father one day, but he’s more than made his bed for a cushy life and a perfect wife.

Maybe the true sacrifice isn’t staying to make it work with Patience and the guys… maybe it’s leaving. It’ll break my own heart, but I can teach anywhere. Richard always wants me to do his errands in obscure places in the world. Should I just go?

If I’m not here, it would help clear Pay’s mind. She wouldn’t be so worried about my safety. Her words of fear over something happening to one of us ring in my ears from last night, and I’m worried that she’ll do something insane in order to keep us safe. Patience James shouldn’t be lifting a finger for anyone. For once, she should be focused on keeping herself safe.

Patience needs to marry Cal Reynolds so she can secure her company and her future. Nothing else matters anymore. It’ll secure her safety too, because less people will be able to hurt her due to the contract’s edicts.

Her other men will step into the gap when I leave, right?

Someone knocks on the door and I groan. I swear these kids won’t leave me alone. The only one I can tolerate is Tyler, but I know it's not him.

“Come in,” I yell, but they don’t enter. “Fucking seriously,” I mumble quietly as I push my chair back and stand up. I stretch and crack my neck as I walk over to the door. Patience is standing there in a skirt so short that I can see her garters.

“What are you doing here?” I ask and she gives me a smile, licks her lips, and presses against my chest, pushing me back into my office.

I grab her hips and pull her lips to mine as soon as the door is closed behind her. Leaning over, I flick the lock to be safe, then spin us so I can lean her over my desk.

This isn’t a good idea, but the way she smells and feels is causing all the blood to rush to my dick. She moans against my mouth and I move closer to her, letting her feel how hard she makes me.

Pulling away from her to take a breath, I shake my head. “One of these days we are going to get caught,” I scold her as she turns and bends over my desk, lifting her skirt and showing me she forgot her underwear again.

Shaking her ass, she looks over her shoulder at me and smiles.

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