Page 99 of Antidote

Fuck, I hate my name.

“Mr. Scott is fine,” I reply sharply, and when her eyes widen in shock, I frown. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I don’t know what’s happening right now.” I take a deep breath and try again. “What is his address?”

I take down the information, and she watches me like she doesn’t know I’m about to have a mental breakdown. It’s truly funny how we’re both pretending I’m okay. When really I just want to drop to my knees and beg God to go back in time. I want to beg and plead to not let me break our hearts. I want to beg and plead not to let me do it again. Except even I know that seeing him again is inevitable. I’d have to stay away from my family forever.

Jamie and his guys are always attending family trips, or they go on their own. It’s like a constant honeymoon between all three of them. While I’m not jealous of them, I don’t enjoy being alone in the huge apartment. I don’t enjoy not having someone to spend my time with. And I definitely don’t enjoy the feeling of grief that takes over my body every time I think about wanting to settle down.

“Thanks,” I mutter, then turn on my heel and look at my watch.

There’s only ten minutes left of the exhibition, and with the announcement that all my paintings have been sold I imagine people will be going home now. As if on cue, people begin to shuffle my way. There’s disappointment on some of their faces as they say goodbye to me and talk about my art, but all I feel is relief as I watch them walk out the door. That is until?—

“Want to come home with me tonight?” Jacob asks me from behind, wrapping an arm around my waist while he whispers in my ear, his lips brushing against my skin.

And. I. Feel. Nothing.

I shake my head, “Sorry, Jake.” He lets go of me, and I turn around to see him frowning at me. One more thing I don’t like—he’s the same height as me. No manhandling will be happening like this. “I have another commitment for tonight.”

“A guy…? Or?”

“Or.” I nod once. “You’re a really amazing guy.” He laughs like it’s funny, yet I know I’ve hurt his feelings. “No, wait. You really are. Maybe when I’m in a better place, we can try this again…but right now, I don’t think dating is for me.”

“Someone must have really broken your heart,” he murmurs, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to my lips.

I don’t let him.

“He tore it out of my chest and tossed it in a blender,” I reply dryly, attempting humor, but he doesn’t laugh. He’s not amused by my pain like other people are. You’re making a mistake, Ollie.

“If you want me back, I’m here. Just one call away.”

My heart begins to beat a little faster, and I nod, unable to formulate words. “Goodbye, Jake.”

This time, he doesn’t stop me.

This time, he lets me walk out the doors and doesn’t follow me outside to get a cab—not that I want him to. I was serious when I said I didn’t have it in me to date him right now. I don’t have it in me to date anyone at all.

Another lie.

I debate for a whole thirty seconds on what to do—where to go. In reality, I know that thirty seconds is no time at all. But in my head, these have been the longest thirty seconds of my life. Home, or Hunter’s?

Home.

Or.

Hunter’s.

But I’ve already made my choice before I turn to the cab driver and give him the address. It doesn’t take long before we pull up to a tall building with about a million floors. There’s a man at the door who gives me a curious look before he asks me where I’m going, and I tell him Hunter Hartman’s place. He nods once and lets me through.

My steps are heavy as I make it to the elevator, except this time, it won’t open. I frown and look at a keypad right next to it, along with a card slot where you can swipe what I’m assuming is a key card. I freeze momentarily because, what the hell? How am I going to get up there? To the thirtieth floor? And why does he live so high up? Asshole.

I take out my phone and text Conrad.

Ollie

I need the elevator code for Hunter.

Conrad

Why are you there?

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