Page 88 of Antidote

“I’ll always love you, Hunt.” Fresh tears spill down my cheeks. “Now leave.”

“Please, baby.” I shake my head, more tears, more sadness. “Please, Blue.”

Now, he shakes his head.

“Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll see you in a year, baby. We’re not over, though. This is just a see you later.”

At that, he sobs hard and covers his mouth. Jamie looks between us, and he looks furious. My whole body shakes, but I force myself to get up and walk away, looking over my shoulder to see Ollie’s face buried in his hands.

“Time to go,” James says with a finality I feel in my heart.

This is really happening.

Ollie doesn’t want me anymore. He wants us to be apart. He wants to work on himself without me. Can’t he see I want to be there for him? I love him just as he is; I don’t need to fix him. It’s supposed to be us against the world, yet he won’t even give me the chance to show him that. I don’t give a fuck what my dad says or how he feels, Ollie is everything to me, and I wouldn’t ever let him come between us.

But it doesn’t matter.

Ollie—my Ollie—doesn’t want me.

One year is a fucking lifetime. Will he fall in love with someone new? Replace me? Will he even want to get back together when he realizes he’s just fine without me?

James slams the door on me, barely missing my face, and I grimace. It begins to rain, and I bury my face in my hands as I sit on the front step. I could go to the cemetery and drink my life away. Or I could go back home and have a pity party there instead. I need someone to be with me, mostly because I don’t trust myself right now. I thought I did everything right, but it turns out maybe I really did hurt Ollie too much. He doesn’t want me anymore.

How am I supposed to survive a year without him?

I can’t give up, though. I owe him that much. I owe it to him and myself to fight for us. And I will, until my last breath I will fight for him. He’s never going to forget about me, and wherever he goes, I will be there. I’m going to give him some space for a while and take care of other matters. I’ll make sure that when he comes back to me, I can give him a home and all of myself. I’ll come out to the NHL, and they’ll have to get over it. I’m going to love Ollie in the open, because that’s what he deserves. If I can manage to get Ollie back, I’ll always put him first. I don’t want to know what it’s like for him to be gone from my life forever—and I can’t let it happen. I just can’t.

I can’t hear anything going on inside the apartment, and it pisses me off. I want to know how Ollie is reacting to this. I want to know if he’s okay. If he’s crying his heart out like I’m doing right now. But instead, I just sit here and text Connor, telling him to meet me at my place. I need someone to be there for me; he has never failed me. Maybe he won’t fail me now.

Connor

On the way.

Hunter

Thanks bro.

My chest is heaving by the time I finish my run back to the apartment. I know I need to slow down, but it’s hard to do that when I feel like I’m dying. I just want to numb myself and try to ignore the pain.

By the time I make it back, Connor is already knocking on my door. I guess I should’ve mentioned I wasn’t home yet. He’s soaked to the bone too, and I grimace.

“You look like shit.” He points out, his blue eyes widening, his eyebrows rising as I shrug my shoulders.

“Feel like it, too.” I unlock the door and push it open, then step into the apartment, letting him in too. Clearing my throat, I wait until he walks past me to lock up. “Ollie left me.”

“He did what?”

I hold up my hands and shake my head. “Dad found out about us.” Connor sits on the couch like he owns the place, kicking off his shoes and putting his feet under his ass. I groan as his clothes soak the fabric, but I can’t bring myself to tell him to get up. And I’m not giving him my clothes. Those are only for Ollie.

“What the fuck happened?”

I run a hand through my hair and pace in front of him. “Ollie left before he could hear me stand up for us. But when I found him, he said he wanted a year to work on his sobriety.”

“What do you mean?”

It’s painful to explain, but I breathe in slowly to keep myself from crying. I don’t know how my tears haven’t dried out at this point. “Ollie is an addict. He can’t deal with this stress. He could relapse. I don’t want that for him, obviously. But waiting a year…I’m going to lose my fucking mind.” My hands shake as I rake one through my hair. “I don’t know if I can survive a year without him.”

“Fuck.” Connor mutters.

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