Page 86 of Antidote

I wheel my luggage out and begin the short walk to Jamie’s apartment. Thankfully, we don’t live far away, only about two miles up the road. Once I reach the building, I slowly walk toward Jamie’s door, knocking softly. All my strength is gone, and I’m ready to fall into his arms and sob. I can’t do this alone, or I’m going to relapse.

I can’t fucking do this.

After two knocks, Jamie opens up. He frowns, looking me over and then at the suitcases, and his eyes widen with understanding.

“Can I stay with you?” I ask him with a shaky voice. “Please?”

“Oh, babe.” Jamie wraps his arms around me, and I break down. My shoulders shake as I sob, and my tears soak his green long-sleeve shirt. I’m tempted to beg him to change his clothes. I never want to see that color again in my entire fucking miserable existence. “Of course, you can stay here.”

I nod into his shirt.

“Come in.” He lets go of me and looks at me. Really looks at me. “I will kill that fucking asshole.”

I smile, but it’s fake. I don’t want to smile anymore—I don’t know if I ever will again. “Please, do.”

“Tell me everything.”

And with that, I follow him in and proceed to cry on his couch for the next hour, telling him every single detail of my heartbreak. I guess I should at least be grateful I have him—I am grateful. I just also hate my fucking life right now.

I have a feeling I’m going to hate it for a long time.

The silence is deafening as the door shuts with an audible click, making me flinch. All I feel is devastation—a sadness so deep it’s a miracle I’m still standing. He didn’t stay. Ollie didn’t give me a chance to make this right. I just needed a minute to gather myself. To work up the courage to stand up for us. But he didn’t have any faith in me. Instead, he walked out on me. I should’ve snapped out of it sooner.

Conrad looks at me expectantly. His arms are crossed over his chest as he sits on the couch, back ramrod straight. He acts like he’s commanding the room, but he doesn’t know that I don’t give a fuck what he thinks about this. Not anymore. I wanted to keep him—to have a parent and the love of my life. But since that is impossible, there’s no reason to dwell on it. When it comes down to him and Ollie, it will always be Ollie. No one could take priority over him. He’s the love of my life. My reason to breathe—to exist.

“I’m done,” I tell my dad, blowing out a big breath. “I don’t care if you approve or not. I’m staying with him.”

There’s a moment of silence, and then Conrad nods slowly, a sneer on his face. It’s eerie, the way he and Ollie look so much alike. Dad, with his dark hair and blue eyes…they could almost be twins. Save for the faint lines around his eyes, he doesn’t look very old. Except right now, he seems as if he has aged ten years in the last twenty minutes.

“I pay for this place, Hunter,” Dad says calmly. “So if you insist on staying with him, I want you to pack your shit and get the fuck out.”

My heart stutters in my chest, and it feels as if it’s going to stop altogether. There’s a split second where I almost hesitate, but then I get my shit together. I’m not backing down now. I’m not going to give in to him. It’s done. “Are you sure?” I ask him, my tone cold, devoid of emotion. “You’ll never see me again.”

Something like fear flickers in his eyes, and he shakes his head. “You’re making a mistake—please see that! He’s going to ruin your future.” Dad gulps, running his hands down his face. From what I can tell, this is a show of frustration. “He’s a drug addict, and he always will be. He will never recover.”

“Stop talking about him like that,” I snap, rage taking over. “Ollie is the strongest person I know, and if anyone can beat this, it’s him.” Dad seems stricken, his features sad and hopeless. But I can’t do this anymore. So, I put the final nail in the coffin. “I’m not going to change my mind. Ollie is the love of my life.”

“You can’t?—”

“I can, and I will,” I snap. “And it’s about fucking time you stop being a selfish asshole. Stop blaming him for Mom’s death. Just fucking stop. Stop talking about him being a junkie and making him feel worthless. It’s not just his fault Mom is dead. It’s mine and yours too. We should’ve done something. We should’ve been the ones to go with her. Even drive for her.”

“Hunter—”

“No.” I shake my head, not giving him a chance to continue talking shit. I can’t take it anymore, the way he talks about Ollie. Someone has to put him in his place. “I’ve forgiven him, and you need to do it as well.” Dad looks horrified for a solid minute. “And you need to forgive yourself too.”

“You’re right.”

Two words shouldn’t make my world spin on its axis, but I feel myself going still. I think I’ve even stopped breathing. My fingers twitch with the need to run after my Ollie, and I just want Conrad the fuck out of here already.

“I want to make something very clear, Dad,” I say through gritted teeth. “I’m in love with Ollie. Wholly and undeniably in love, and no one will take him away from me—not even you.”

He nods. “Very well.” I steel myself for what I know is coming next, but turn around and start heading for my room, ready to pack my shit. I’m not going to wait for him to tell me to leave again. I have no idea where I’m going to go. But maybe Connor will have a spare couch for me. “If that’s your choice, Hunter.”

“It is.”

“You don’t have to go.” My dad stops me in my tracks. “If this is truly what you want, it’s your choice.”

I nod slowly. “And us?”

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