Page 85 of Antidote

“I’m not fucking leaving,” my dad replies coldly. “Get dressed. Now.”

He slams the door closed, and there’s a moment between Hunter and me that I can’t even explain. His eyes are wide with fear, and he’s shaking so hard his teeth are chattering. He’s shutting down—I can feel it. So I squeeze his hand in reassurance, but Hunter won’t squeeze it back. He’s just stoic.

“Hunter, please,” I whisper. “Look at me.”

His eyes snap up to mine, darkening, the green looking almost black in the dim light. He doesn’t say anything—the silence says it all, though. He wasn’t ready for this yet. What’s going to happen now? Is he going to stand up to Dad? I can only hope. I can only hope everything will be fine once Dad leaves, but I can see Hunter closing himself off.

“Baby,” I whisper again, “Please. Please don’t do this. You promised.” My eyes sting and sudden tears fall down my face. My shaking hands cup his face. “Don’t leave me. You said forever.”

“Get dressed, Ollie.” His voice is neutral, and fear tightens its talons around my heart.

I sob, my shoulders shaking. As if I weigh nothing, he picks me up and sets me on the bed beside him so I’m no longer straddling him. Then he gets up and gets dressed. I follow closely behind, putting on my clothes as fast as possible, and when he opens the door, I take a deep breath. He pauses and looks back at me with pleading eyes. Begging me to understand. His sad eyes are cutting me deeply, but I can’t do this. He can’t do this to us—not again.

I can tell this is coming to an end.

He walks through the door, and my heart breaks a little more. We make our way to the living room, and Dad is sitting on the couch, his head in his hands, tugging at his hair. I know this must have been a surprise, and maybe he’s a little shocked, but he could be a little nicer about this. Not such a fucking asshole.

He peers up when Hunter comes closer and stands before him, then straightens up. My heart is thundering in my ears, my hands are shaking from the fear of losing Hunter, and my mouth is dry as fuck. I don’t know what to do, so I stand next to Hunter and attempt to grab his hand. But he just moves to the side so I can’t reach him, and my heart drops into my stomach. It seems we’re not going to be a united front on this.

“How long?” my father growls. He’s always been an asshole—casting me aside because of my mistakes. But goddamn, this is on another level. “How long has this been going on? This is disgusting—you are brothers. What the fuck were you thinking? Hunter, you’re the one with self-control here. How could you let this happen?”

I look over at Hunter. At the fear in his eyes. He’s shaking like a fucking leaf, and I just want to reach out and wrap him around me. Tell him he’s going to be okay—but I know he won’t let me.

“Senior year,” Hunter whispers and my dad’s blue eyes widen. He looks so much like me, it’s disgusting. “Then this year.”

“Even after what happened to your mother?” my dad seethes. “He doesn’t deserve you. He’s a fucking junkie.” My spine straightens, and Hunter’s mouth opens to object. Except my dad holds up a hand to stop him. “You have to break up with him, Hunter,” my dad says as if reasoning with him even though I know it’s a demand. “It’s wrong on so many levels.”

Hunter swallows hard and shakes his head, his tears finally falling, and he takes a deep breath before he speaks. “I love him, dad.” His voice trembles as he says it. “Please don’t make me do this. I want a future with him. It wasn’t just a fling…it’s forever.”

“Fuck that.” Conrad laughs and gets up from the couch, walking toward Hunter and going toe to toe with him. “You’re brothers. This isn’t happening.”

“It already did, Dad!” Hunter pleads. “Please.”

“No.” My father shakes his head, and I’m just silent, like a fly on the wall. He hasn’t looked at me once or even considered my feelings. In his mind, I corrupted Hunter. I’m at fault for this too—just like with everything else. “It’s him or me, Hunter.”

I know the moment he says it, we have no chance. Hunter doesn’t want to lose the love of the only parent he has left, and I know that. He doesn’t want to side against him or disappoint him.

“I’ll always love him, Dad,” he whispers. “Why does it matter if I choose you?”

“Now,” my dad grits out.

I shake my head, my shoulders trembling as I sob.

“Pack your shit, Hunter,” Dad growls. “You’re coming with me.”

I straighten my spine and shake my head again, wiping my tears. But Dad isn’t even looking at me, so I take a deep breath and say, “I’m leaving. No need.” There’s no fucking way I’m staying here to be haunted by memories of us.

I can’t take this anymore. There’s no reasoning with Dad—so I have to rip off the Band-Aid. I stomp away. I head to my room and begin to pack, which takes me exactly ten minutes, and I hurry to the door. I glance over my shoulder to see Hunter still standing across from Dad, and they’re having a stare-down.

My heart squeezes in my chest when his eyes connect with mine. His bottom lip is quivering, and he doesn’t even attempt to hide it. He looks regretful. He looks broken. He looks defeated. I bite my bottom lip, and with fists wrapped around my suitcases, I take a deep breath. I look away and open the door.

I’m done.

I can’t do this anymore.

I’m not waiting for him.

This was our chance at forever, and there won’t be another one.

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