Lina pulls out her phone and taps her contacts, scrolling until she gets to his name. She taps the screen again and pauses as she considers what to say.
Lina
I could have been hurt if I’d been at the club with Sean. I’ve been there before.
She looks up at me. She’s holding her phone so I can easily see the screen. We wait. We’re entering my parents’ neighborhood when a response comes in.
Justin
No you haven’t. That’s why it had to be there. Somewhere you couldn’t get involved.
Lina
Involved. Not hurt.
Her face shows her disgust. I can practically hear her saying fuck you.
Justin
Obviously you can defend yourself better than the little bitch you think you’re with.
Lina
Think?
Justin
You can’t fuck someone when they’re dead. At least that’s not what you’ve been into.
Lina
Gross. I am with Sean.
Justin
For now. You can’t be everywhere. You won’t find everyone. Lucy was too obvious. I’ll do better next time.
Lina
And if I really am with Sean next time? You’d let me be a casualty?
Justin
You’ll be home the next time.
Lina
All the more reason I’d be with him if we’re home.
Justin
Don’t be stupid. Boston
Lina
Boston isn’t home and never will be. Sean’s home. Montreal’s home.
My hand’s been resting on her thigh. I squeeze it when I read she considers me home. Not the city. Not my place. Not even a place we share. Me. Like being with me—being in my arms—me inside her—that’s what feels like home. I get that with a soul deep understanding I never imagined I’d experience. I knew it was possible from the other couples in my family. I just didn’t think I’d have that too.