Page 43 of The Story Of Us

He drops the book on the desk behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist to hold me close to him as I tuck my head into his chest, my arms dropping to his shoulders.

“I thought my heart was going to stop,” he whispers into my hair. “Don’t do that to me again.”

I look up at him, and then one of his hands is on my chin, tilting my head up to his, and our noses brush.

“I won’t,” I say as he closes the distance between us.

I watch Isaac as he reads over my notes before taking a picture of them. He doesn’t say a word; just taps a few times on his phone before locking it and putting it in his pocket.

“I need to go actually.” He suddenly stands up, throwing his bag over his shoulder and stepping away from the desk.

“What?”

He wanted to see me today and explain something to me, but now he’s leaving?

“I have something I need to do.” His voice is low and he’s not looking at me, staring down at the floor instead.

“You said you wanted to explain and now you’re leaving? What’s your problem, Isaac?”

I know I’m on the verge of shouting, but I can’t help it. Everything he’s done since the day our relationship ended is so confusing. I don’t think I know who he is anymore. I don’t know what’s happened to him since we broke up, but this isn’t the Isaac I fell for. Maybe he was acting for our entire relationship, and this is who he really is, someone who can’t face up to the consequences of his actions.

But deep down, I don’t believe that. I don’t want to think that everything that happened between us might have been fake or that it meant more to me than it did to him.

His answer stuns me.

“You, Violet. You’re my problem.”

16

ISAAC

“You, Violet. You’re my problem.”

I can’t hold it back anymore but the look on her face makes me think I should have.

“What does that even mean?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Every time we have even the slightest interaction, if I look at you, if I talk to you, if anything at all happens, it feels like my entire world is being thrown off balance.”

I’m staring right at her, my chest heaving up and down, but I can’t stop talking.

“Sitting here, working with you, it felt like how we were a few months ago, but we can’t go back to that. And I know it’s all my fault, and I’m the reason for that, but I can’t stand it. I can’t stand the fact that I hurt you without any explanation, that every time I even think about trying to explain it all to you, it feels hopeless because I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness.

“I hate that I know you’re not sleeping properly, and I hate that I might be the cause of that. I hate that I don’t get to fall asleep with you every night, that your voice isn’t the first thing I hear every morning anymore. And I hate that even after saying all of this, I still want to run away from you because I’m scared of what you’ll say.”

I breathe deeply, surprised at how much I’ve revealed to her. I need to leave right now before she can say anything because I can’t handle her rejection after spilling my heart out to her.

Violet’s just staring at me, eyes wide and her mouth slightly open. I can’t look at her anymore. I turn and walk towards the door, not even daring to look back at her, but my backpack is tugged backward.

“You can’t just say that and leave.” Her voice is quiet, and I drop my head. Heaviness hits my chest because she sounds just like she did when we broke up. “You wanted to talk, let’s talk.”

I close my eyes, but I can still feel her holding onto my backpack. I know she won’t let me go until I explain whatever just happened to her.

“Okay,” I murmur and turn around to face her as her hand drops from my backpack. “Let’s talk.”

She nods, her bottom lip between her teeth as her chin starts to tremble, and I’m so glad she turns around and walks back to the desk because I can’t bear to see her cry. I follow after her, taking the seat next to her this time, and wait for her to ask whatever questions she needs to.

“What did you mean when you said you didn’t want to take the LNAT?”