Page 26 of The Story Of Us

It repeats in my head as I settle down in my bed and try to sleep, the smile not leaving my face for a single second.

I can’t wait for school tomorrow.

“Where were you, though?” Luke’s question draws me from my thoughts, and I wish they had never gone there in the first place. I rub my chest as if I can physically soothe the ache there, but it doesn’t work.

I have two options right now—I can either lie and pretend I was with a teacher, or I can tell him I was with Violet.

If I do the second option, I worry I might end up exposing too much, but maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. My entire relationship with Violet was a secret, even when we were just friends, and I loved that it was something just for the two of us. But right now, I really want my best friend’s advice so I decide to tell him the truth.

“I was with Violet in that old room in the science block.”

“Okay, so two questions, with Violet? And why that room? No one ever goes there.”

That’s the whole point.

I try to think of the best way to explain our relationship without going into our entire history. I don’t know if I can give him all of that yet—it still feels too fragile.

“We got paired up for that club project, remember? So we met up to discuss some ideas.” I turn my head away from him, staring up at the ceiling instead because I think it’ll make it easier if I don’t have to look at Luke as I tell him something I’ve kept hidden from him for so long. “And we met there because that’s where we’ve been meeting for years.” The words come out rushed in the hopes that maybe Luke won’t hear them and ask too many questions.

“Wait, what?” He gets up, leaning on one elbow so that his face is over mine, but I push him back down.

“Just…” I take a breath to steady myself. “Just let me figure out how to say this.”

“Okay, take your time.” His voice is gentler this time, as if he already knows there’s so much more to this story.

“On the first day of Year 7, when we did that icebreaker, she came over to talk to us, remember? And we found out we had the same birthday, so we lined up together.”

I feel Luke move his head next to mine, a small nod.

“When it got to the end of the year, and it was our birthday, I decided to give her a birthday card. I thought it would be a nice thing to do, but then she didn’t have one for me, so it was kind of embarrassing. I figured we’d just never speak about it again, but then the next day, she found me on the way to breakfast. She made a card for me.”

“Oh, wait, was that when I jumped on you?”

I can’t help but laugh at the memory. Luke had woken up late that day, so I was walking alone to the dining hall when Violet approached me. She told me that she’d made a card for me because she felt bad that she didn’t have one the day before. I was in the middle of telling her how much I appreciated it, and while I was working up the courage to say more to her, I ended up flat on my face instead. Luke had decided that was the best time to do a running jump onto my back and tackled me to the ground. Luckily, Violet just laughed it off, but I remember feeling so embarrassed that I pretty much just ran away from her after that.

“Yes, it was, and it’s shocking that you haven’t changed a bit since then.”

Luke lifts his leg and drops it over mine, and the corners of my mouth turn up as I fight a smile.

“But you still love me anyway.”

“Yes, I do.” I pat his hand, which rests next to mine, in the space between us. “Anyway, she found me later that day, and we swapped numbers, and then, I don’t know, it just kind of went from there.”

As I think about that turning point in our relationship, I realise I don’t want to tell Luke the full details yet. Not because I don’t trust him or I think he’ll make fun of me, but because it still feels too personal to share with anyone who isn’t her.

I clear my throat, trying to get rid of the lump forming as I think about Violet and the relief I feel in actually getting to talk about her is mixed with the guilt that’s been suffocating me for the past few months.

“We just started talking more, and once we found that classroom and realised no one went there, it just felt like the easiest place to go. So we went there on our birthday, and I gave her cards and gifts -”

“Gifts?” I don’t realise my slip-up until Luke repeats it. I want to keep the details as vague as possible but he already must guess it was serious if we were giving each other presents too.

I don’t dare tell him that I gave her my heart, too.

“I’ll tell you everything at some point, just not right now, okay?”

“Okay,” he says simply and I love him for it, for agreeing so quickly and not pushing me to talk about something that is tearing me apart inside. I try to steady my breathing again as it grows more panicky when I think about telling him where it all went wrong.

“Remember last year when you came to my room on my birthday?”

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