Page 27 of The Story Of Us

The memory is painful, the start of where it all went wrong, but I have to talk about it if I want his advice on how to fix it.

“Yeah, I remember.” His voice is tense, and I hate that I’m making him think about it again, too.

“I completely forgot about Violet. She waited an hour for me in that classroom and I just never showed up.”

“Oh, Isaac.”

“I know, I know. It gets worse, actually,” I say, my voice coming out shaky, and I don’t know if I’m laughing or crying. “We actually started dating last year.”

Luke bolts upright, and I cover my face with my hands, glasses pressing into my eyes. I guess I am crying.

“What?”

“You heard me. And I’m sorry for not telling you guys, but I just… I don’t know. I guess I just liked the bubble we were in. She didn’t tell anyone else either, and it was just nice that we could see each other, and no one knew. When we were in that classroom, it felt like we were in our own world.”

“You don’t have to apologise for not telling us. I get it, I think. But what, you broke up just because you didn’t show up? I’m sure if you explained, she would have understood.”

He’s right, and I wish I could go back in time and do exactly that because what I did instead was so much worse.

“The next day, she caught me before breakfast, and I just..” I struggle to find the words to explain what happened and realise that I can’t. My palms are wet from my tears, and I don’t know how much more I can say about this without having a full breakdown.

“I really hurt her, Luke. And now she doesn’t want a single thing to do with me, but we have to work on this project together, and I’m trying so hard to talk to her, but she won’t talk to me, and I get why she won’t I really do get it, but I just want to apologise and-”

“Isaac, breathe.” Luke takes my hands from my face and holds them. He’s sitting cross-legged next to me now.

I close my eyes and take in shaky breaths. I didn’t think that finally admitting it all out loud would be this overwhelming. But maybe I was in denial this whole time, and saying it all is making me realise that I really lost her, and I don’t know if I can get her back.

“You don’t have to tell me anything else. I won’t ask for any more details. But you said you hurt her, and I’m glad you know that and you’re not trying to deflect. But knowing that means you have to make the effort to gain her forgiveness before you do anything else.”

“I don’t know how.” My voice is quiet, resignation already setting in because I don’t know how much more I can try without tearing myself apart in the process.

“Right now, you don’t. But if you were close before, you can be close again. Just take it slow for now and work on the project together. I think the more time you spend with each other, the more you’ll learn about her again, and you can figure out the best way to approach this. But for now, don’t push her too much. It has to be on her terms.”

“When did you get so smart?”

“I’ve always been smarter than you. I just hide it so you don’t feel bad about yourself.”

I let out a laugh, and I’m so glad that Lucas is my friend. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, that’s what brothers are for.” He squeezes my hand, and as his words play on repeat in my head, I start to feel a little bit of hope that maybe things will work out with Violet.

11

ISAAC

I’ve been standing by my car for fifteen minutes waiting for Izzy. We’re only going home for a few hours, so I don’t know why it’s taking her so long to get ready, but she’s always like this. I check the time on my phone and see that it’s already past eight, which means that if Izzy doesn’t appear in the next five minutes, we’re going to be late.

Huffing out a breath, I decide to wait in the car instead. Izzy hates getting into a cold car, so I might as well start warming it up. I turn the heat on low, putting her seat warmer on, too, as I think about what a great brother I am. I scroll mindlessly through my phone and then end up doing something that I haven’t done in weeks.

I open up my message app and stare at my thread with Violet, who’s still pinned to the top. She was always the only person I wanted to talk to at all times so having her at the top of my messages just felt like the right thing to do.

It’s still saved the same way that it has been for so many months now - the nickname with heart emojis around it staring back at me because I don’t have the heart to change it or think of her as anything less than what it means.

ONE YEAR AGO

“Mum, I need to finish my homework. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Even though Violet has the phone held to her ear, the volume is loud enough that I can hear her mum’s voice coming through the speaker.

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