Page 92 of Love Lies Bleeding

I get regular text messages from him, like the one from ten minutes ago.

Jake: You make my heart beat fast.

or,

Jake: Every thought I have these days, always circles back to you.

It makes me feel happy in a way I haven’t felt since we were together before. Being loved isn’t something new to me. I have people who love me, I have people who need me, but Jake worships me. He shows me what it is to be loved and have someone to lean on. He lets me be me without the mask of strength.

No promises have been made and I’m okay with that. He’s told me how he feels, and I know this thing between us has some kind of future, but I still haven’t told him I love him yet. I know he feels that, even though he says he’ll wait forever if that’s what it takes.

Now, though, I have a different conversation to have and that’s the one I’ve been avoiding with my best friend. Lexi hasn’t pushed me, but I know she has questions about me and Jake and the past we clearly share.

I step out of my car and onto the drive of the home she and Hunter have just closed on, which is two minutes away from the one Jake bought. The only real difference is that this one is new and built to her and Hunter’s design plan.

“Hey, you!”

Lexi greets me with a hug as I tap the door and enter. “Hey, I brought strawberry tarts from that bakery you love.”

Lexi takes them and I follow her into the perfect chef’s kitchen that opens up into the family room behind and an informal dining table to the left. Beyond that is the huge garden that sweeps into an orchard with a gated pool and patio area for entertaining.

“You trying to butter me up, Cher?”

“Me? No, of course not.” We both know I’m lying. This conversation is going to be tough but it’s long overdue. “Where is my gorgeous godson?”

“Out doing some errands with his gorgeous father.”

I wrinkle my nose and she squints at me in warning. “I mean he’s okay looking, but I wouldn’t say gorgeous.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. You like your men with green eyes, and thick brown hair, and a jaw line that would make an artist weep.”

Her eyebrows rise and I swallow. “I guess we’re doing this now. Going straight in without any lube or anything?”

Lexi stomps, yes stomps, her foot at me as we face off across the kitchen of her dream home.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

Lexi throws up her hands. “How the hell should I know? You won’t fucking tell me.”

Lexi isn’t known for her potty mouth, she’s the good one of our little duet, so her breaking out the F-bomb is a testament to how pissed she is with me.

“Okay, let’s grab a drink and go outside and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Fine, but I’m holding these strawberry tarts hostage until you tell me every detail.”

“Gee, Lex, I didn’t realize you had such a kinky side,” I tease.

She pokes her tongue out at me and that’s when I know it’s going to be okay. Whatever I tell her today will have no bearing on our friendship. It never would have, I was just too insecure to see it.

The sun is warm on my skin as I take a seat beside my oldest friend on the lawn chairs that look out over the orchard. The birds chirp, the fluffy white clouds floating in the sky giving the blue a much brighter color. Something about this place is so peaceful and I envy her living here. Soon Jake will move here too, and I want to think one day so might I, but first I need to get over my own fears and get out of my own way.

Lexi reaches out and takes my hand. “Talk to me, Cher.” Her voice is soft and comforting but with a hidden strength now after what she’s been through this last year. I see my friend in an entirely new light and have gained such admiration for her.

“Jake and I met at Harvard.” I pause, waiting for her to speak, but she just squeezes my hand. “We literally bumped into each other my first day. I knew even then, Lexi. I knew he’d be my ruin in some way, and I was determined to stay away from him but he was so persistent. We became friends. He’d take me out on his bike, we’d watch movies together and eat pizza, and then it evolved slowly over time. He’d send me a good morning text every day before I woke and I fell so hard for him.”

I choke down the emotion as the memories of the past are so clear in my mind. I see the way he looked at me, the gentle touches, the protective way he held me in his arms.

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