Page 99 of Staying Selfless

“That sounds so good,” Marc chimes in, not having the option to think otherwise.

As we migrate to the kitchen, Eli lifts himself onto the corner counter, leaning his crutches up against the cabinets below.

“Logan, do you still want to make a cake?” Mary turns to me. “I got everything for it.”

“Baby, you don’t have to. We just celebrated my birthday.”

“But we haven’t celebrated with your parents yet, and I need to redeem myself after Goody outdid me with his cake.” I shift towards Mary. “Thank you. Yes, I do.”

Mary begins to pull the mounds of pizza dough out of the fridge, letting it rest on the countertop, covered in saran wrap. She sifts through the refrigerator finding all the toppings she bought, needing to get them prepped.

“I’m gonna get a fire going,” Jack says as he nods towards a large window, eyeing the setting sun, before heading back into the living room.

“Pineapple? Really, mom?” Marc questions as Mary places it on the kitchen counter.

“Fuck, yes.”

“Absolutely,” Ali and Mary say at the same time.

I drop my head to hide my smile, but when I glance back up at Eli, he’s wearing the same knowing grin before he slides off the counter, kisses my cheek, and hobbles into the living room to join his dad with his brother following behind.

Once I get the cake in the oven, I help Mary by getting the dough ready as Ali fills small bowls with different toppings, allowing everyone to make exactly the kind of pizza they like.

Eventually, I pull Eli’s cake out of the oven, placing it on the cooling rack while Jack and his sons conveniently make their way into the kitchen just as dinner is ready.

Ali opens her mouth to say something smart about their timing, but she holds her tongue. It’s true that Marc isn’t one to spend too much time in the kitchen, usually skipping out at the right time, but Eli almost always cooks for us when the four of us are together.

As everyone else takes their turn making pizzas, Eli and I wait until the end. His big-ass body and crutches take up too much space, it’s just easier to wait until the kitchen is cleared out.

Once everyone is done, Eli hobbles behind me as I take our pizza crusts down the counter of toppings, making both his and mine since he doesn’t have a free hand to do so.

“Oh, yeah, more of that.” Eli looks over my shoulder while I cover his pizza in mozzarella cheese after spreading it with sauce. He punctuates his request with a kiss on my neck.

“Fuck yeah,” my hungry boy requests with another kiss, causing my skin to tingle with warmth as I sprinkle some bacon on top of his pizza.

“Oh my god, yes,” Eli moans from behind me as I add all the veggies on top, and if you didn’t see the pizzas in front of me, you’d swear that the sounds Eli is making are sexual.

Well, maybe they are sexual because I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look at me the way he’s looking at this pizza right now.

I set our homemade pizzas next to the oven, waiting for our turn to cook as Eli leans against the counter, setting his crutches to the side.

He pulls me into his embrace, my head resting on his chest. “Thank you for always taking care of me.” Eli kisses the top of my head, his lips lingering there. “You’re really good at it, Logan.”

Eli knows better than anyone that there’s still a part of me that feels like I let my mom down. Even though I’ve come to terms with everything, and I know I made the right decision, there’s still a piece of me that feels like I didn’t do a good enough job for her. Unfortunately, that deep-seated guilt doesn’t just go away overnight, but I hope as time goes on, whatever feeling of failure that still lingers will fade.

These words of affirmation from him are his constant reminder that I’m capable, and his ability to see that I need the reassurance every once in a while just makes me love him that much more.

“You’re the best at it,” he adds.

Once everyone’s pizzas are cooked and crisp, the family settles into the couches around the coffee table. Jack has the living room fireplace roaring, keeping the cabin warm. Eli has his ankle propped up with a fresh bag of ice I forced him to use, and Marc is sitting next to me as we scarf our dinner, eyeing Mary and Ali as they converse and get to know each other better.

I can’t help but smile to myself, being grateful for this family in front of me and hoping I’ll get to keep them forever. I genuinely don’t know what I did to deserve them. Outside of my own parents, this is the next best thing, and this family is everything I never knew I needed until I met them.

“What are you so smiley about?” Eli whispers next to me as the rest of the group is distracted in conversation.

“Nothing in particular.” I place my hand in his, intertwining our fingers. “I’m just happy.”

Eli’s face can’t hide the huge grin overtaking his features before he lifts my hand in his and peppers the back of it with kisses from his smiling lips.

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